Phil my prescription please.
π︎ 37
π
︎ Sep 08 2021
How does Phil Collins get to the concert hall?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 11 2021
Someoneβs gonna play some Phil Collins..
I can feel it in the air tonight..
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 13 2021
How did Phil Collins know someone was grilling out?
.
The smell was in the air tonight.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 20 2021
People said Iβd never get over my obsession with Phil Collins
But take a look at me now.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 08 2021
Phil is to blame for this one, nothing to do with me.
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Sep 06 2020
No one told me you'd get an allergic reaction if you stood in between Anna Kendrick and Phil Collins
I didn't expect the Anna-Phil-Axis to be so severe.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 29 2021
Tomorrow, I get to meet Phil Collins
Iβve been waiting for this moment all my life
π︎ 49
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
Before Socrates there was Phil
π︎ 173
π
︎ Nov 13 2020
Where does Phil Collins record his music?
π︎ 18
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
Philβs always getting screwed...
π︎ 26
π
︎ Sep 12 2020
My friend Phil loves to help people
He visits ant infested houses, kills all the ants for free with the condition of keeping dead ants' heads to himself.
He is a Phil-ant-trophist.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 22 2020
My buddy John gave his size 13 boots to his little brother, Phil. Problem is, Phil wears size 9.
John left large shoes to Phil.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Mar 22 2020
My friend Phil wore my dad's footwear yesterday
but his Shoes were too big to phil
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 08 2020
Back in the 80's...I was a teenager full of obsessions, even Phil Collins was one of them. What the hell was thinking back then..
... But hey !! Take a look at me now.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 04 2020
A guy named Phil.
I once had a friend named Phil who would put extra salt on his noodles. He died of high cholesterol.
Can I get a Ramen?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 04 2019
π︎ 280
π
︎ Jan 23 2017
I hope the place where Phil Collins records his vocals is referred to as the "Stu-Stustudio"
π︎ 45
π
︎ Feb 28 2016
This is what I like to call βPhil Collins weatherβ
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 05 2018
Phil Swift had a Christmas Party
He calls it Flex Seal Navidad
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 29 2018
My friend Phil runs red lights.
Itβs okay though. His business is contracted by the city to maintain them.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Sep 14 2018
Where does the stuttering film director shoot Phil Collins' music video?
In the Stu-stu-studio.
Came up with this at work the other day. A customer asked for her purchase for free after I shared it with her.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 19 2016
I was waiting in line for my tickets to the LA Phil last night when the box office staff asked "is everyone in this line here for Will Call? This is the line for Will Call."
To which I replied, "No, I'm here for Beethoven. Who the heck is Will Call?" Worth it for the few 'extra air out of the nose' laughs I got from the three people around me.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 20 2017
I work with an old man named Phil..
I few months back he asked if I'd seen the Phillips Head..
I told him to check his shoulders.
Laughed way too hard at my own joke that day
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 09 2016
Pittsburgh Penguins player Phil Kessel dadjoked the media. (x-post /r/hockey)
https://twitter.com/penguins/status/643509078795395072
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 15 2015
Phil Dunphy...
βYou only get one chance at a first impression. I suggest Julia Child because itβs easy to do. βSave the gibletsββ
β Phil Dunphy
π︎ 17
π
︎ Nov 11 2013
My dad called me in and told me: "Now we know that Phil really is the head of the household." (Crosspost from /r/DuckDynasty)
imgur.com/fF9nmLh
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 28 2013
An infomercial hosted by a guy named Phil Swift came on, and my buddy says...
"Watch out for Phil Swift, he'll pull a fast one on you."
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 13 2014
People said that I'd never get over my obsession with Phil Collins...
But take a look at me now.
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 24 2019
Never thought I would get over my obsession with Phil Collins.
But Take A Look At Me Now...
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 19 2019
People said I would never get over my obsession with Phil Collins.
But take a look at me now.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 05 2019
They said I'd never get over my Phil Collins obsession
...but take a look at me now!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 06 2019
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