Examples
Shoebaru , Subaru Mitsufeetshi , Mitsubishi Legsus, lexus Merceknees bends, Mercedes Benz.
"My spine. It holds me back."
He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.
He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.
When they get back to Yodaβs hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yodaβs garden.
βSomething I have for this.β Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.
Yoda and Luke return to Yodaβs home, where Yoda looks through his bag. Heβs used all his forks but one, he discovers.
βThatβs ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. βIβll write us a note reminding us to buy more.β
So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.
He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.
βMaster Yoda!β he asks. βWhat did I do wrong?β
Yoda replies sagely, βA Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!β
12:34
I replied: βNo son, but have you seen my dad glasses?β
The space bar.
The bark.
I think I've done well sofa
And he won! I read it in the French press
It didnβt Pan out.
That's a plane fact.
I can always count on them
Your feet, because God takes your soul
You're either a solid or a gas.
(Jimmy Carr)
Well, there are a lot of good reasons, but the flag is a big plus.
When he was put to death, his captors ground him up and baked him in the oven covered in gravy and mashed potatoes.
When questioned as to why such a cruel and unusual punishment was administered, they stated that this was the only way to correctly execute a shepherd spy.
He is a real Mister Riemann.
Work always piles up.
The rest is mostly downhill
The Nap-kin.
She said, "what the heel!"
Taking off the sea cups.
(My wife actually should get most the credit)
He just canβt part with it.
The living womb
I don't know, they have too many branches.
The naked eye.
Space bar
The eyes, because they dilate.
Spine
I Doled it out.
Rectum.
Satisfaction!
Maybe I should quit while Iβm a head.
I could try harder to be, but I guess I'm just not Inuit.
Sometimes I feel like it's holding me back
His name was Frank.
Itβs made with hole milk.
Sorry. I just gotta vent.
The Semi-truckβs digestive system
I already started singing to people from far away.
What about you, are you practicing social distant sing?
What did the bald man exclaim when he had recieved a comb for a present?
Thanks, I'll never part with it.
And they interviewed an applicant named Stan. Stan had no arms due to an accident so the hiring manager asked how he would ever be able to do the job.
"I'll show you",said Stan.
They walked up flight after flight of stairs to the Bell tower all the while the manager wondered how Stan would ever be able to do the job. His questions were soon answered when after reaching the Bell tower, Stan took off running striking the bell face first. Gooong goes the bell. Stan picks himself up, takes off running face first at the bell, Gooong.
"Hold, on. You'll hurt yourself."
"I'm tough," said Stan, " "and I really needed this job"
"Ok," said the manager, leaving Stan to do the job.
All day the bell rang on the hour correctly and the manager thought too soon that he had misjudged Stan. Finally, at six in the evening there were only three gongs, then a commotion. Going out to see what was going on he found Stan dead on the street below. Apparently he had become disoriented from head trauma and missed the bell entirely falling to the street below.
"Who was this man, Who was he?" asked the crowd.
Not wanting to admit liability for the accident, the manager said "I don't know."
"But his face sure rings a bell"
You get laid only once
Partayyy (part-A)
His bill.
The parts he dips in Olive Oyl.
Throwing the cows across a lake.
To be honest, I can barely stand it
You play heads or tails.β¬
Dad: You'd think it would be the arrrrm, but he's rather fond of the booty!
Sometimes, I just knead a brake.
My dad worked in construction for most of his life, and because he worked with his hands, he sacrificed many watches. But if you don't have a watch, how are you to tell time? My dad has a great sense of humor and is always thinking of new ways to do things to make them more practical or thinking of ways to change things to make them work better for him. So after spending way too much money on a heavy duty watch that inevitably broke on him, he came up with a better solution.
He used the working part of a clock and stuck it on the inside rim of his hat, so if he wanted to know what the time was, he just had to look up. Simple. And the way his hat was, you couldn't see the clock when looking at him unless you were underneath him and looking up.
And then came the funny part. Every time he was asked what time it was, he would look up at the sun, scan the horizon, pretend to do a math equation in his head, and tell them the exact time down to the minute. I've witnessed him doing this a few times but never gave it away. The look of surprise and confusion this gave people was priceless.
My dad had done other funny things like this, but this was by far the funniest.
He's on a Sifu diet.
The yolk?
Nope, the shell because it always cracks up.
Really brought a tier to my eye.
A Pan-sexual
βPop.β Goes the weasel.
Itβs a trap.
DaFEET!
Rhesus pieces.
Getting it to gather
Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevorβs love for tractors.
Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.
Trevorsβs degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.
The hedges in Trevorβs front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.
Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.
Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasnβt keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.
One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.
Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.
βWellβ said Jeff, βAs Iβm sure you know the convention comes to town laterβ.
The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.
βYes of courseβ replied Trevor
... keep reading on reddit β‘I fear I have coma toes
No one's posted here all decade...
(Regards from New Zealand)
Well, the flag's a big plus
I donβt know, but the flag is a big plus!
Then your are part of the precipitate.
The pupils, because they dilate
Your pupils because they dilate...
I'm not sure, but the flag is a big plus.
It's the eyes, because they can die-late!
The pupils, they dilate.
The pupils, they dilate.
I'm not really sure, but the flag is a huge plus.
Pupils. They dilate.
You flip a coin.
I can always count on them.
