My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
Me: Huh, I'm wearing away my A Key. Husband: So...that means you're not in pain any more? Me: Take my upvote and leave!
what kind of bird always feels pain
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
I managed to break both big toes during my soccer match today, had to come off the field in horrible pain, and my team went on to lose the match 0-4.
Today I truly suffered the agony of da feet.
My friend was on a hike and the trail was covered in rocks and boulders when he started feeling a sharp pain in his kidneys.
He started to feel better after he passed the first stone.
Are cats always in pain?
Because they’re always going me-ow
I just found out that cats are always in pain
I went in to get a checkup for severe pain near my belly and the doctor said "You have acute appendicitis". And I said..
Thanks, but I was looking for a treatment, not a compliment.
The fish in my fish tank seem to be fatigued and in constant pain.
I think it is fibromyalgae.
Why did the person with muscle pain put their doctor through a Soda Stream?
Because they needed to see a fizzier therapist.
When someone calls you a pain in the neck..
They really mean you’re a pain in the assophagus
You get no pain...
When you run out of bread in France
A bread demon would bring a lot of pain.
The french revolution was kind of a pain in the neck, but once it was over it was a weight off of some people's shoulders
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I am worried she won’t be able to pull it off.
i went to the chiropractor with back pain, i didn't think it was that bad. he looked at me and said i have scoliosis, and he fixed me!
What do you call a dinosaur that’s in pain after sitting down for too long?
My wife screamed in pain during labour so I asked, "What's wrong?". She screamed. "These contractions are going to kill me!!"
"I am sorry, honey." I replied. "What is wrong?"
I'm having frequent pains lately.
My co-workers and I would suffer from wrist pain when we would drive through a mountain on our way to work together
We were diagnosed with carpool tunnel syndrome
I had pain my knees, but with the help of my doctor, I feel better.
My French friend said “HELP! I’m in pain!”
Now I just need to get him out of that loaf
Who does Mr. Salt go to when he has back pain?
What is T-Pain's favorite piece of clothing?
I went to the Med school library to get a book on abdominal pain
Someone had already ripped the appendix out.
I used to think diabetes was a pain in the butt
But it turns out to be more of a pain the the fingers.
Why was the horse always in pain?
Because his name was Charlie.
My wife went into labor today, so I read the front page of /r/DadJokes to her as a distraction from the pain. Unfortunately, she didn’t laugh once, was clearly not amused and I have no idea why...
It must have been the delivery...
If Hermes was the messenger god, the he sure was lucky not to have met the god of pain and old age...
Why are there no pain killers in the jungle?
because the parrots eat em all
What do you call an idiot who’s hooked on pain killers?
I feel pain looking at this
Pirate goes to doctor to have groin pain checked. Dr. looks down pirates pants and says, “you have a captain’s steering wheel in your pants.”
Pirate replied, “arghh, it’s driving me nuts”.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain.
I’m really worried she won’t be able to pull it off.
My wife screamed in pain during labor so I asked, “What’s wrong?”. She screamed. “These contractions are going to kill me!!”
“I am sorry, honey,” I replied. “What is wrong?”
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I’m nervous she won’t be able to pull it off.
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