What is the best way to observe the two planets between Jupiter and Neptune?

Saturn Uranus.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ochoytnik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 10 2020
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Scientists have observed that when one pizza delivery guy falls over, several others also fall over

This is known as the domino's effect.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dhrupad_9112
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 12 2020
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Ramadan is starting today. To all my Muslim friends who are observing this holy month, I have one thing to say.

Lunch is on me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 463
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 23 2020
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My doctor diagnosed me with severe lack of observation.

That came out of nowhere.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 113
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 05 2020
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Why does the dragon not observe the Sabbath?

He only preys on weak knights.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/evanmcook
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 10 2020
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I made a graph of all the animals I've observed pooping in my yard.

It's a scatter plot.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dothemagic
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 24 2020
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An epidemiologist, a scientist and a doctor walk into a bar...

...just kidding, they know better.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 561
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bel0902
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 26 2020
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What's the difference between an observer and a stalker?

A clipboard and pen

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/oleolesp
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29 2020
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That’s it, I’ve observed long enough!! Now it’s time to take:
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/A_Good_Alibi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 08 2018
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My love for puns can be observed through my love of 'Letterkenny.' Moist youtu.be/bdrQzZ-4GEk
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/meganahs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14 2020
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I didn't want to observe the period from Ash Wednesday to Easter again, but did so to stop my girlfriend's constant nagging...

I re-Lent-ed

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 28 2020
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Apparently, People are 44% less observant than ten years ago.

I read that somewhere.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 16 2019
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I collected a lot of data trying to disprove observation bias.

It was exactly what I expected.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 989
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 03 2018
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I have observed that people who always turn right are invariably on time.

They're clockwise.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/scardeal
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 16 2019
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A child’s observation:

If a mother laughs at dad’s jokes, we have guests.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mcab00
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 06 2019
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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. ..

After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes," replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson ponders for a minute.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 29 2020
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Scientists recently spent 24 hours observing the moon orbit around earth.

They got bored and called it a day.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thegur90
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2019
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An observant but not-so-trustworthy friend of mine dropped by my fowl farm yesterday.

He took a gander.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JAiFauxThe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 28 2019
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My wife got mad at me for mentioning that she farted.

I thought it was an astute observation.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Gringo_Please
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 18 2020
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Roses are red, violets are blue

I'm very observant.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/karma-enigma
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17 2020
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Observed a weather-themed dad joke

Two guys were standing in front of me while waiting in line for the pharmacy. One begins making small talk about the weather:

"I hope the rain keeps up!"

"Huh?"

"So it doesn't come down!"

Groan

πŸ‘οΈŽ 644
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ms_Mediocracy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 30 2014
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If you could see a fart, would that be an astute observation?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HobNobBobJob
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 24 2018
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I recently converted religions and I'll be taking off April 14th in observation of Vaisakhi

I guess that means I'm calling in Sikh.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Asmor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 13 2018
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Today I gave my dad some French beans I had grown in my garden.

He asked if they needed to go into quarantine!

(UK just asked everyone coming in from France to observe 2 weeks quarantine)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CanAhJustSay
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2020
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A Punderful Observation imgur.com/gallery/9IYXd?l…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mister_Fakename
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 20 2017
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Holmes and Watson are creeping stealthy along the Street, searching for clues, when Holmes suddenly spots a Bakery shop window and scans it with his magnifying glass. Watson perplexed, says to Sherlock " What are you looking for exactly ? " ...Holmes replies...

" You know my method. It's founded upon the observation of Trifles. "

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 29 2020
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Day and night
πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bongnazi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2018
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Party

An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard sat down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked, "Going to a party?"

"Yeah, a costume party," the man answered, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life."

"But you look like Abe Lincoln." observed the barkeep.

"That's right. My last four scores were seven years ago."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 15 2020
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my dad made a great observation...

all the math teachers were pregnant at my middle school, and i remember asking my dad why.

dad: "because they like to multiply"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/konnernextdoor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 30 2016
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observation on a german footballer

If SchΓΌrrle was a player instead of a player he'd be AndrΓ© "don't call me" SchΓΌrrle.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SpaceDetective
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 16 2014
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My observation of dadjokes

So I love this subreddit, it gives me new material and it gives me the opportunity to help my fellow fathers.

I have a question though, who else, aside from me, pictures the dads that comment and submit posts, as the dads who wear the typical dad attire? I mean the button up hawaiian shirt, kakhi shorts, and a drink in their hand, with a s**t-eating grin.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jesusdo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 01 2014
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When you're sad and no one seems to carrot all
πŸ‘οΈŽ 615
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/keelzyy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 31 2017
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My Dad will be telling Dad Jokes till the end...

Quick backstory, my Dad was rushed to the hospital last night with an acute pericardial effusion. Of course, we didn't know the cause at the time, so when the Doc came into my Dads room in the ER to tell him what's going on and what they were going to do, emergency surgery, this is how the conversation went...

Doc: Mr FloatyMcBoatFace's Dad, You have fluid building up around your heart, an Acute Pericardial Effusion, and we have to go to surgery right away to get that fluid out of there.

My Dad: Well, good thing it isn't an Obtuse Pericardial Effusion...

The entire family groaned. The Dr and Nurse couldn't help but laugh after a few seconds of what I assume was shock.

Anyway, he seems to be doing fine, he's still in the hospital under observation though.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 80
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FloatyMcBoatface
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 27 2019
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I opened the oven....

I just opened the oven and there were loads of tiny people dancing to techno.

It was a micro-rave.

I'm sorry

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheMightyJoeYoung
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 19 2015
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Q: Did you just fart?

A: That would be an ass-toot observation.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LORDFAIRFAX
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 27 2019
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A dad and his son are out camping when they hear a loud roar outside their tent.

Scrambling, they look outside and see a bear, standing on its hind legs.

"Roar!" the bear growls.

They begin to run away into the woods, but the bear doesn't give chase. In fact, it's still standing there, looking at the tent.

"Roar!" the bear growls.

They stop and watch but it just keeps standing there. They inch closer, but no reaction.

"Roar!" the bear growls.

They summon up all their courage and approach to within inches. No reaction.

"Roar!" the bear growls.

"I think this bear might be broken," observes the son.

The dad nods. "I think that bear's repeating."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/whomikehidden
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 24 2019
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What do you call it when someone notices that you farted?

An ass-toot observation

πŸ‘οΈŽ 87
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/billmilk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 18 2018
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History lesson

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TibtibThePrincess
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 10 2019
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How do you know when an octopus has diarrhea?

It leaves squid-marks.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 96
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MrsDoubtmeyer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 06 2017
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Why didn't the dragon observe the Sabbath?

He only preys on weak knights.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/evanmcook
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 06 2020
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I collected a lot of data trying to disprove observation bias.

The results were exactly what I expected.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 22 2019
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I collected and analyzed a lot of data trying to disprove observation bias.

The results were exactly what I expected.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 08 2018
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Roses are red. Violets are blue

Just an observation.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/karma-enigma
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 19 2020
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