Me: going to my friends for new year's eve celebration

My dad: See you in a year.

Ps. It happens every damn time

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xKarmelx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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On the day my friends were hosting my birthday celebration, I had diarrhea.

I was a party pooper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GatorScribe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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My wife broke up with me at the star wars celebration. An anakin cosplayer came up to me, put his hand on my shoulder, and said...

May divorce be with you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kinjesus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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Why did the King's birthday celebration last so long?

It was an all knight party

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perseus_Turambar
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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So I heard that due to Coronavirus, Ireland is cancelling St. Patty's celebrations...

They're trying to stop the infection from Dublin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leparr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
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My boss said that an outdoor concert was fine this fourth of July celebration despite the forecast f rain...

Just so I cover all the bassists.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
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Do you know why we always have such a large celebration when someone turns 21?

It's because the following year they will have a twenty second birthday

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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
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The mayor of Cowville hosted a citywide celebration of their milk. At the opening ceremony the mayor stood proudly above a pool of milk to show the exceptional quality. Unfortunately as he left the stage he fell into the pool of milk. The townsmen quickly rescued him and asked if he was okay:

"Yes", he said, "I'm all-white".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snaaaaaaaaaake
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
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The New Year's celebration at Times Square was pretty disappointing.

They really dropped the ball this time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
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It’s official, scientists have proven that more birthday celebrations is officially linked to a longer life span
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rangent
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
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r/AskReddit celebration thread
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1234filip
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
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My mother has always been a staunch supporter of the LGBT movement. In fact, back in the 80s, she even told me that one day, β€œout and proud” people would have an entire month of celebration!

Mama said there’d be gays like this!

Happy Pride Month, y’all. :D

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fuzzus628
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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My kid at their grad celebration: β€œI can’t believe all the food is already gone!”

Me: aren’t you β€œgrad-u-ate” before we came here?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LukeHezlyn
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
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My football teammate asked me, β€œOn a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”

I gave him a high five.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
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I'm not impressed with the people who organize the New Year's celebration in Times Square

They always drop the ball.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThisGuy21321
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
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I hear there aren't enough bathrooms for the NYE celebration in Time Square.

They really dropped the ball on that one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thepobv
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
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How do you coordinate an eclipse celebration?

You planet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stroderod3
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2017
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What do you call the celebration of a Star Trek filming shoot ending?

A warp party.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OgreMonk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2016
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Got my dad whilst eating a box celebrations chocolates.

I took one of the chocolates without him noticing and placed it upon my head. I then turned to him with a very stern face and said "Dad i need to talk to you about something"

dad: "what son?"

me: "I am actually really afraid for my life"

dad: "what are you talking about?"

me: "i think someone has been payed to kill me"

dad: "what , why?"

me: "I guess you could say someone has" tilting head forward to reveal the chocolate "placed a bounty on my head"

He cried a little with laughter and said he missed having me around (he recently moved country with my mum) because mum dosn't make those kind of jokes. It was a beautiful father son bonding moment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeanCGuest
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2015
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A Celebration of Dad Jokes

this isn't strictly a dad joke, but our local NPR affiliate in Philadelphia had a celebration of dad jokes today, and I figured you gents might be interested. They do give credit to reddit for the rise of dadjokes.

A Celebration of Dad Jokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cschrader
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2015
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The New Year's celebration at Times Square was pretty disappointing.

They really dropped the ball this year.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
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