I just showed my friend my model of Mount Everest.
"Is it to scale?" He asked.
"No," I replied. "It's to look at."
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︎ May 15 2021
Disclaimer: this is my 5 year old son's joke. He is a dad in the making. "Everest is the biggest mountain. Mount Fuji is the prettiest. Which mountain is the stinkiest?"
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︎ Apr 22 2021
I had a friend who smoked weed on Mount Everest.
He told me he was really high.
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︎ Jan 31 2021
Bumblebees can fly higher than Mount Everest
Well, I don't think a mountain can fly, but you learn new things every day.
Borrowed from r/Awwducational so title is a fact
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︎ Mar 19 2021
Why do big-game hunters mount their lionsβ heads?
To mount the other end would be a catastrophe.
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︎ Nov 02 2020
Have you ever seen Mount Rushmore before it was carved?
Its beauty was unpresidented.
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Screwing in some camera mounts and I dropped my drill, it came so close to hitting my daughter in the head...
Good thing it was only a drill!
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︎ Feb 15 2021
This is (a) mount Ann
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︎ Nov 14 2020
Walmartβs onn brand of tv wall mounts.
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︎ Sep 22 2020
How did the Himalayan man jump higher than mount Everest?
Well, that's easy. Mountains can't jump.
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︎ Jun 07 2020
Did you know bees could fly higher than Mount Everest?
Granted, mountains can't fly but still pretty impressive!
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︎ Sep 21 2020
Mount dewku
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︎ Jul 04 2020
If you're ever going to Mount Rushmore
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︎ Aug 20 2020
My great grandfather told me he remembers Mount Rushmore before it was carved
He said its beauty was unpresidented
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︎ May 26 2020
Did you hear about the man without legs who lives at the foot of Mount Everest?
When people meet him, they just find Himalayan there
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︎ Jun 24 2020
An avalanche has started on Mount Everest that threatens to wipe out 20% of its surrounding area.
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︎ Jun 04 2020
Mount Rushmore
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︎ Sep 01 2019
Mount Rushmore
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︎ Aug 28 2019
My wife wanted to buy a ceiling light. She said, βthis one comes with a hanging chain but I think we should just mount it flush with the ceiling.β
I said, βthat would be off the chain.β
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︎ May 23 2020
Mount St. Helens is a great mountain.
But it was at its peak in the 80s.
Stolen and butchered from https://xkcd.com/2308:
Title text was βIt's a good mountain but it really peaked in the 80s.β
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︎ May 19 2020
I learned an important historical lesson after I visited Mount Rushmore.
The best American Presidents were stoned.
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︎ Dec 12 2019
Mount Rushmore was supposed to have 5 presidents instead of 4 because...
The artist forgot to plan ahead.
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︎ Dec 26 2019
My dad showed me his new Mount Everest replica today
I said "Wow! To scale?"
He said "No, just to look at"
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︎ May 15 2019
Someone stole my through-hole printed circuit board components and replaced them with surface mount. The police investigated..
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︎ Dec 25 2019
Iβm suspicious of my friendβs story about how he climbed Mount Everest.
In the end, Iβm not sure whether he made it up.
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︎ Sep 05 2018
Does the people who climb Mount Everest... everest
>!had to put the punch line on the title!<
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︎ May 24 2019
Have you heard about the butcher who risked everything and opened a shop on top of Mount Everest?
The steaks couldn't be any higher
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︎ Apr 11 2019
Did you hear about the guy who died at Mount Rushmore?
There were 4 witnesses, but no one is saying anything. They're all stone-faced.
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︎ Jul 27 2018
A friend asked me for help to mount his self-portrait on the wall the other day, so I went and bought him all the twisted cord that I could find...
βWhatβs all this for?β he asked...
βWellβ I replied, βIβve heard that if you give a man enough rope, he will hang himselfβ.
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︎ Nov 16 2018
I think my highest achievement was climbing Mount Everest.
It's all been downhill from that.
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︎ Mar 06 2019
The floods had subsided, and Noah had safely landed his ark on Mount Sinai. "Go forth and multiply!" he told the animals...
...and so off they went two by two, and within a few weeks Noah heard the chatter of tiny monkeys, the snarl of tiny tigers and the stomp of baby elephants.
Then he heard something he didn't recognise⦠a loud, revving buzz coming from the woods. He went in to find out what strange animal's offspring was making this noise, and discovered a pair of snakes wielding a chainsaw.
"What on earth are you doing?" he cried. "You're destroying the trees!"
"Well Noah," the snakes replied, "we tried to multiply as you bade us, but we're adders⦠so we have to use logs."
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︎ Feb 01 2018
What happened when Moses went to Mount Olive?
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︎ Oct 29 2017
I finally reached the top of Mount Everest
I guess itβs all downhill from here
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︎ Aug 27 2018
Has anyone noticed Mount Rushmore is a pun?
The four fathers of America. And they're forefathers. I can't believe this wasn't intentional.
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︎ Oct 27 2015
I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked, βIs it to scale?β I replied, βNoβ¦β
π︎ 18k
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︎ Nov 23 2020
Before Mount Rushmore was cut in
Itβs natural beauty was unpresidented
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︎ Dec 14 2020
I bought a model of Mount Everest and my son asked, "Is it to scale?"
I replied, "NO!! It's to look at."
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︎ Jan 13 2021
Have you ever seen a picture of Mount Rushmore before it was carved?
Itβs beauty was unpresidented.
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︎ May 24 2020
A friend forced me to look at a picture of mount Rushmore before it was carved.
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︎ Oct 05 2020
Before Mount Rushmore was carved into
Its natural beauty was unpresidented
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︎ Jun 22 2020
Before Mount Rushmore was carved, itβs natural beauty was...
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︎ May 31 2020
"I've built a model of Mount Everest "
"Is it to scale? "
"No,just to look at! "
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︎ Apr 24 2020
Once you reach the top of Mount Everest
It's all downhill from there.
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︎ Aug 28 2017
Me: "I'm going to Mount Rushmore"
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︎ Jul 07 2017
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