I was tasked to come up with a great pun for a new launch of Microsoft Office, I thought I’d come up with a great one.
But my publisher told me that word games are not what I excel at.
What do you call the crew of a rocket launch that gets cancelled?
The rocket scientists finally figured out what when wrong with their missile launch ...
Turns out it was a case of projectile dysfunction.
A "helen" could be used as a measurement of beauty, defined as a face that could launch a thousand ships. However, one should not use a "millihelen" to mean that a face could only launch one ship...
...because you shouldn't put metric prefixes on Troy units.
Two astronauts were fighting during pre-launch
One finally said, "I need some more space!"
I've been trying to launch my business importing Soviet neckwear but in this political climate its impossible.
No one wants anything to do with my Russian ties.
Why did he order books long before the launch date?
Because he wanted to book them.
If rockets can't launch, is it because they have thrust issues?
What button does the Naval admiral press to launch the submarine torpedo?
Elon Musk sending his Tesla in to space will probably be the best car launch ever.
I bet his competitors will be annoyed at how much they need to lift their game.
Showed my dad the Tesla car launch...
His response was "I hope they don't break down, I don't think triple A covers space."
NK failed to launch a missile today
I heard they went ballistic.
Launch money
Over heard from downstairs
6 year old brother: "dad! I need lunch money for tomorrow"
Dad:"launch money? What're you getting launched into outer space tomorrow?"
Idk I lold
William Shatner, Star Trek’s Captain Kirk, is said to be extremely disappointed after the collapse of his recently launched women’s underwear business...
Apparently, nobody was interested in buying ‘Shatner Panties’.
If they launched a lot of cattle into orbit.
If they launched a lot of cattle into orbit.
It would be the herd shot ’round the world.
Using my telescope, I could barely make out the British coin worth one fourth of a penny after I launched it into the upper atmosphere...
Last month I launched a book aimed at children.
I’m pleased to say I hit one of them
A new car has been launched for American cowboys...
As English my second language, pretty proud of this one.
I heard Mike Tyson will be launching a Christian dedicated social media site.
He's calling it "Faithbook".
Russia have just launched a new website that tracks down and deletes pirated movies
New dating service launched in Prague!
WARNING FOR EVERYONE WHO WANTS THE KFC GAME CONSOLE
Avoid getting a console on launch day. Multiple units had to be recalled due to the circuit boards being "fried".
How do you smuggle a cat over the border.
You launch it over with a Cat-apult
Did you hear why melons have big elaborate weddings?
I've heard they just launched the new reptilian-focused aid programme.
Digiorno is launching a frozen pizza crust that spreads itself out on the pan...
I don’t feel like there’s a knead
Did you hear about Apple buying the rights to Bambi?
They'll use it for the launch of the new iFawn.
I've been really keen on watching the SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket launches lately...
... Guess you could say that I've been watching them like a hawk!
Help!! Creative Minds Needed!!
My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. I’d schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since we’re there.
Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says “coolest dad in the galaxy,” a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift I’m thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.
Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??
- I’m still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!
Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I don’t really have that “creative” part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesn’t matter!
An investigation has been launched after a midget was pickpocketed earlier today.
Police are wondering how someone could stoop so low.
SpaceX is launching astronauts today with a new space catapult
Bringing forth a new era of crude spaceflight
Character spacing is important, for example: ...
...writing: "I have a music album". 🎶
...versus: "I have a musical bum". 🎺
What are Astronauts doing when they do a mistake?
I was going to make a joke about catapults
Never mind... It's a long shot
My neighbor installed a security system in his porch that launches intruders into the air, and I could tell he was very happy about it.
There was a spring in his step.
Google Just launched an application for infants and newborns, it's called
Did you hear that the founder of SpaceX is launching his own perfume brand?
I just launched a dating app for water fowl.
Why was mission control so tense when NASA launched a cow into orbit?
It was a high steaks mission.
Have you heard about the new subscription service, that Gary Lineker has launched? 28 portions of green tea delivered monthly.
It’s called Matcha the Day
Russia is launching a new streaming service.
They're calling it Nyetflix
Starwars is launching a new brand of toilet paper.
It's made specifically for your dark side.
Chicago's Field Museum has launched a hotline where your child can text-message with a "dinosaur" that answers their questions.
Great, now parents have to worry about their kids getting ghosted by a velociraptor? "Hey Timmy, it's Ronny the Raptor. U up? Don't you hate it when you send an eggplant emoji to a Triceratops and they be like: who dis?"
There's only one traffic sign that informs you and launches an investigation
Canada has launched its own version of Jeopardy.
The answers have to be in the form of an apology.
NASA is planning on launching a bunch of cows into space.
It'll be the herd shot 'round the world.
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