I was tasked to come up with a great pun for a new launch of Microsoft Office, I thought I’d come up with a great one.

But my publisher told me that word games are not what I excel at.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/T33NW01F
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call the crew of a rocket launch that gets cancelled?

Astronots

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobby_vance
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
The rocket scientists finally figured out what when wrong with their missile launch ...

Turns out it was a case of projectile dysfunction.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/winkelschleifer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A "helen" could be used as a measurement of beauty, defined as a face that could launch a thousand ships. However, one should not use a "millihelen" to mean that a face could only launch one ship...

...because you shouldn't put metric prefixes on Troy units.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IncompotentCyborg
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Two astronauts were fighting during pre-launch

One finally said, "I need some more space!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I've been trying to launch my business importing Soviet neckwear but in this political climate its impossible.

No one wants anything to do with my Russian ties.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/symmetrygear
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did he order books long before the launch date?

Because he wanted to book them.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dreaded_Engineer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2018
🚨︎ report
If rockets can't launch, is it because they have thrust issues?
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_kalamity_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What button does the Naval admiral press to launch the submarine torpedo?

The belly button

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Elon Musk sending his Tesla in to space will probably be the best car launch ever.

I bet his competitors will be annoyed at how much they need to lift their game.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prototype__
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2017
🚨︎ report
Showed my dad the Tesla car launch...

His response was "I hope they don't break down, I don't think triple A covers space."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BAM5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2018
🚨︎ report
NK failed to launch a missile today

I heard they went ballistic.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atticusw
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2017
🚨︎ report
Launch money

Over heard from downstairs 6 year old brother: "dad! I need lunch money for tomorrow" Dad:"launch money? What're you getting launched into outer space tomorrow?"

Idk I lold

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sebulbaa
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2014
🚨︎ report
William Shatner, Star Trek’s Captain Kirk, is said to be extremely disappointed after the collapse of his recently launched women’s underwear business...

Apparently, nobody was interested in buying β€˜Shatner Panties’.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
If they launched a lot of cattle into orbit.

If they launched a lot of cattle into orbit.

It would be the herd shot ’round the world.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreyDeck
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Using my telescope, I could barely make out the British coin worth one fourth of a penny after I launched it into the upper atmosphere...

It was a far-thing!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Last month I launched a book aimed at children.

I’m pleased to say I hit one of them

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rfcoc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A new car has been launched for American cowboys...

The Audi Partner.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
As English my second language, pretty proud of this one.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mamado21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard Mike Tyson will be launching a Christian dedicated social media site.

He's calling it "Faithbook".

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chickengun
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Russia have just launched a new website that tracks down and deletes pirated movies

Nyetflix.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
New dating service launched in Prague!

It's called Czech-Mate.

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/t44s
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
WARNING FOR EVERYONE WHO WANTS THE KFC GAME CONSOLE

Avoid getting a console on launch day. Multiple units had to be recalled due to the circuit boards being "fried".

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ILikeCodecaine
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you smuggle a cat over the border.

You launch it over with a Cat-apult

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bagabus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear why melons have big elaborate weddings?

They cantaloupe.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gc3c
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I've heard they just launched the new reptilian-focused aid programme.

They called it Gatorade.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/avohka
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Digiorno is launching a frozen pizza crust that spreads itself out on the pan...

I don’t feel like there’s a knead

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about Apple buying the rights to Bambi?

They'll use it for the launch of the new iFawn.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AFMDX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I've been really keen on watching the SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket launches lately...

... Guess you could say that I've been watching them like a hawk!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/space0watch
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Help!! Creative Minds Needed!!

My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. I’d schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since we’re there.

Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says β€œcoolest dad in the galaxy,” a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift I’m thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.

Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??

  • I’m still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!

Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I don’t really have that β€œcreative” part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesn’t matter!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
An investigation has been launched after a midget was pickpocketed earlier today.

Police are wondering how someone could stoop so low.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
SpaceX is launching astronauts today with a new space catapult

Bringing forth a new era of crude spaceflight

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeerBluntBoogaloo
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Character spacing is important, for example: ...

...writing: "I have a music album". 🎢

...versus: "I have a musical bum". 🎺

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What are Astronauts doing when they do a mistake?

They « Apollo »gize

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maduch1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to make a joke about catapults

Never mind... It's a long shot

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Holding_McGroin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My neighbor installed a security system in his porch that launches intruders into the air, and I could tell he was very happy about it.

There was a spring in his step.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Google Just launched an application for infants and newborns, it's called

Google-dada

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Udjasen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that the founder of SpaceX is launching his own perfume brand?

Elon's Musk.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clbull
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I just launched a dating app for water fowl.

I'm calling it "Gandr"

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WorldsMostDad
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was mission control so tense when NASA launched a cow into orbit?

It was a high steaks mission.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zspratt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the new subscription service, that Gary Lineker has launched? 28 portions of green tea delivered monthly.

It’s called Matcha the Day

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hairyfacedhooman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Russia is launching a new streaming service.

They're calling it Nyetflix

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Starwars is launching a new brand of toilet paper.

It's made specifically for your dark side.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DontPanicJohnny
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Chicago's Field Museum has launched a hotline where your child can text-message with a "dinosaur" that answers their questions.

Great, now parents have to worry about their kids getting ghosted by a velociraptor? "Hey Timmy, it's Ronny the Raptor. U up? Don't you hate it when you send an eggplant emoji to a Triceratops and they be like: who dis?"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeoffPlitt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
There's only one traffic sign that informs you and launches an investigation

Stop, A head!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InspectorBugNuts
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Canada has launched its own version of Jeopardy.

The answers have to be in the form of an apology.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2018
🚨︎ report
NASA is planning on launching a bunch of cows into space.

It'll be the herd shot 'round the world.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeseheadDave
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2018
🚨︎ report

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