I went to buy some fruit today but the store was mobbed with protesters.

I went bananas.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElsonDaSushiChef
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a mob hitman who only kills low-level drug dealer?

A weed whacker.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ivanthemute
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the Mob try to influence Marlin Brando’s character in β€˜On the Waterfront’?

By using pier pressure.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossum81
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
How do stop a mob of attacking clowns?

Go for the juggler

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/toolaroola12
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
🚨︎ report
If a mob of clowns ever try to rob you then remember to go for their jugglers first
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PilotDave3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to be a bartender for the mob.

It was whiskey business.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthNuggetz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
The maffia does not discriminate against mob bosses who date both men and women.

They let bi-Dons be bi-Dons.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DreadMoor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a recently whacked mob boss?

Al Ca-put

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sioswing
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a mob of drooling zombies?

The Salivation Army

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stooftheoof
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
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If attacked by a mob of clowns imgur.com/uTzXU3u
πŸ‘︎ 162
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2015
🚨︎ report
What’s the human psychology behind all this toilet paper hoarding?

That’s just how we roll

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awburrou
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the potato farmer who crossed the mob?

He's sleeping with the knishes.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2016
🚨︎ report
Is the Mob funny?

Dad: "Hey son did you hear about the mobster who passed out in the kitchen."

Son: "Uh...no."

Dad: "Yeah I guess he's sleeping with the dishes."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Staff_Inflection
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you call paparazzi with old timey cameras?

A flash mob

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/God_Of_Pores
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Skeletone Puns?

Hello !

My friends and I are dressing up as Skellies for a con. We will be carrying signs that will have silly phrases.

We could use more ideas! Any skeleton puns we could use that you love?

Signs will include things like: "minion seeks necromancer, PST" "Have you seen our boss mob?"

ECT!

Looking forward to hearing your ideas! Thanks all!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TogiSoYo
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of gangsters that refuse to turn off the lights on their cameras

A flash mob

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmahler0514
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My Dad went out with a couple of guys called Barry Allen the other night.

He said it turned into a flash mob.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2017
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked my girlfriend at concert

My girlfriend and I went to a Glitch Mob concert a couple of days ago. When we walked into the venue, the smoke machines were already on, it was almost impossible to see the stage. Immediately I turn to her and say

"Man, I don't know if we'll remember this concert tomorrow morning."

"Why?"

"Our memory might be a little foggy."

I had to go look for her in the crowd.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaffire
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2014
🚨︎ report
What do you call an organized crime ring that sells Adobe products?

A flash mob

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonnyDhotdog
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2015
🚨︎ report
When attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flyingtiger79
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
If you’re attacked by a mob of clowns

Go for the juggler.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
If you’re ever attacked by a mob of clowns

Go for the juggler.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
If attacked by a mob of clowns

Go for the juggler.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkone2087
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
If you ever get attacked by a mob of clowns

Be sure to go for the juggler.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RendolfGirafMstr
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you do if attacked by a mob of clowns?

Go for the juggler

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jimitex22
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2018
🚨︎ report
If attacked by a mob of clowns...

go for the juggler!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cowboy_christmas
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you stop an angry mob of clowns?

Go for the juggler.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/termiAurthur
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2017
🚨︎ report
If you're ever attacked by a mob of clowns, remember this...

Go for the juggler!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dizmodo
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2017
🚨︎ report
If you're ever attacked by a mob of clowns...

... go straight for the Juggler.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2015
🚨︎ report
How do you subdue a mob of clowns?

Go for the juggler.

sigh.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gmikoner
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2014
🚨︎ report

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