Did you hear the one about the Irish mobster that was killed for stealing Little trinkets?

It seemed to be the first case of a NikNak Paddywhack

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyahzar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
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Frankenstein's Mobster.
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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Did you hear about the mobsters that always wore costumes?

They were a bunch of wise guise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hero_of_Thyme81
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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Why are mobsters expert at chopping down trees?

Because they're goodfellers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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Why some mobsters prefer not to laundry their dirty money?

They want to be filthy rich.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WenDMegs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
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My mobster friend prefer using knives over guns

He's a knife guy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tphobias
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2018
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What’s the difference between a lobster and a Mobster?

One letter. Duh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChrisCGCToo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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Why don’t mobsters see their families on Christmas?

Foget’boutit!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Misterwashy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
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Did you hear about the mobsters arrested for peddling Viagra and Cialis?

(Showing me the paper today):

Did you hear about the mobsters arrested for peddling Viagra and Cialis?

It sounds like they were hardened criminals.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greeneggsand
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2013
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What do you call a TV award an Italian mobster cheated to win?

Rigatoni

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lowkir
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2015
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What do you call a crustacean involved with the mafia?

A mobster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Santoryuuuuu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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Did you know Al Capone had a cousin in Scotland?

They called him the Loch Ness Mobster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeoDashie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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What do you call a crustacean involved in organized crime?

A mobster lobster!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/falconman478
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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What do you call a mafia member that hangs around a certain Scottish body of water?

Loch Ness Mobster

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HHStorm21
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2018
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Did you hear about the curious case of the Mafia don who required his family members and advisors to ring a bell before entering his office?

He was found dead with a brass handle in his hand.

They’re calling it the Mystery of the Knock-Less Mobster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SapperInTexas
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2016
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What do you call a restaurant that only serves Russian Gangsters?

Red Mobster

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RhysLava7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2017
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Dad's favorite joke is coming to an end. Its kinda long.

What you need to know: We have a grocery store called Dominick's.

Artie and Dominick grew up in the same neighborhood and were best friends. But after highschool, they parted ways.

20 years later, they bump into each other on the street and the friends have a happy reunion. They talk about their lives after they left their old neighborhood. Dominick is a very wealthy lawyer and Artie is a mobster. Artie turns to Dominick and says "If you need anything at all, I'll get it for ya. Just ask."

Dominick :Well there is one thing... Artie: Anything. Dominick: Well I can't stand my wife. Could you get rid of her? Artie: Of course! Dominick: Wait! You're my friend, I gotta pay you for this. Artie: I can't take your money. Dominick: I have to give you something! Artie: Fine, give me a dollar.

So Dominick hands him a dollar and tells Artie when he'll be at work. The next day, Artie slips into the house and strangles the wife but as soon as her body hits the ground, the maid walks in. So Artie strangles her too, but as soon as her body hits the ground, the butler walks in. Artie strangles the butler and then the police burst in.

The next day in the papers, the head line reads: "Artie Chokes Three for a Dollar at Dominick's"

The end. My dad was saying the other day he won't be able to tell that joke anymore because Dominick's (the store) is closing where we live.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheInvizible
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2014
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Is the Mob funny?

Dad: "Hey son did you hear about the mobster who passed out in the kitchen."

Son: "Uh...no."

Dad: "Yeah I guess he's sleeping with the dishes."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Staff_Inflection
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2015
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Intense movies with my dad lead to this sort of thing way too often...

Watching some intense mobster movie with my dad: Two guys come in with shotguns and unload about 10 shots into the don while he's eating really fancy food and drinking wine. Dad looks over. "They'll never get the wine out of that shirt."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perfectionist569
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2013
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