Micky goes to a lawyer for a divorce, and the lawyer asks β€œso you’re getting a divorce from Minnie cause she’s very, very silly?”

Micky replies β€œNo! Cause she’s fucking Goofy!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChardeeMacDanny
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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Mickey Mouse is divorcing Minnie !

But the judge tells him...

" I'm sorry Mickey.. But I can't grant you a divorce just because you say your wife is a little weird."

Mickey says..

" I didn't say she was a little weird... I said she was Fucking Goofy !"

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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So Mickey, you want to divorce Minnie because she's...really silly?

No. Because's she's fucking Goofy!

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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Now Minnie has got to take a hyuck!
πŸ‘︎ 163
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UwaltzBigShock
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
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Ran into Minnie Driver today!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dis_newt02
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
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Went to the Minnie mart to pick these guys up.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/greeneggsandspam_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2017
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Mickey & Minnie

My 2 1/2 year old niece told me that "Mickey hit Minnie." I told her that's called "mousal abuse." She didn't get it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lookslikesinbad
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2015
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My mom + dad are watching TV, and my mom says, "Oh, that's Minnie Driver!" Then says my dad...

"She must have a pretty small car."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/monolisa
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2014
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My dad told me his password is: MickeyMinnieGoofyDonaldPlutoHueyLouieDeweyDublin

Because he was told his password had to contain 8 characters and at least one Capital

πŸ‘︎ 583
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Palloran
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
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Company password

During a recent password audit by a company, it was found that an employee was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacremento"

When asked why they had such a long password, the employee rolled their eyes and said "Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital!"

πŸ‘︎ 581
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsAndIT
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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I met a microbiologist today

He's a lot bigger than I thought he'd be

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanFntastic
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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I just finished Grosse Pointe Blank and now I’m putting on Good Will Hunting.

It’s a Minnie marathon.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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What kind of auto does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive?

A Minnie van.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
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What kind of vehicle does Mickey's wife drive?

A minnie-van

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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Goofy dadjokes Mickey

http://i.imgur.com/bYNBvEK.jpg

Saw this on /r/funny figured you guys might like it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oreo_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2014
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What state is home to the smallest Coca Cola factory?

Minnie-Sota

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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If the female lead of Good Will Hunting hired a little person to chauffeur her in an iconic British car

He’d be Minnie Driver’s mini Mini Driver.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jayrandomer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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How does Mickey take his kids to soccer games?

A Minnie van

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lego808
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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Me and my step dad driving past a graveyard

Step Dad- Did you know that is the dead center of New Jersey Me - REALLY!?........oh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josephthebear
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2016
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Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? β€œMy Fare, Lady”.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physician’s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


β€œWhat’s purple and 5000 miles long?” β€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”


Every calendar’s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. β€œFour bucks,” says the bartender. β€œPut it on my bill.”


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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(True) My grandfather and I were passing a graveyard in the car.

GF: "Minnie's buried there."

me: "Minnie who?"

GF: "Minnie people."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/k-smackerel
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2015
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Reading my daughter a book before bed

I was reading my 3 year old a book before bed and one page read, "Minnie likes to cook" and showed Minnie putting cookies in the oven. My wife commented that you BAKE cookies, not COOK them. I replied with, "Oh yeah? Why aren't they called BAKEIES then? "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/killboy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2015
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My best dad joke yet to my wife while she was making Halloween costumes for the kids

This afternoon my wife was sewing Halloween costumes for the kids. My daughter is going to be her favorite Disney character, and my wife asks me how long I think the skirt should be.

Me: "Well, you are making a Minnie skirt!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InspectorX
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2014
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What Did Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse in order to rest?

Ministop

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingExpertise
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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Mickey mouse failed to divorce with Minnie mouse because the judges said β€œyou can’t just divorce with someone for being stupid” to which Mickey said:

β€œI didn’t say she was stupid, I said she was fucking Goofy”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/c0olzero
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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Why was Mickey mad at Minnie

Because she was fucking goofy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatcity
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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Mickey had to break up with Minnie Mouse

He found out she was fucking Goofy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cdmontgo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
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So Mickey Mouse went to file for divorce from Minnie..

The judge said, "I can't approve the divorce just because you think your wife is crazy."

Mickey says, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was fucking goofy."

Edit: autocowrecks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FilthyMcnasty87
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2015
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Why did Mickey divorce Minnie?

Because she was fucking Goofy.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danbengal
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2018
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Judge told Mickey he couldn't divorce Minnie for being silly...

Mickey said "I didn't say she was silly. I said she was fucking Goofy!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SgtMac02
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2017
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What kind of car does Mickey Mouse drive?

A Minnie Van

πŸ‘︎ 367
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mustachereviews
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2016
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What kind of car does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive?

A Minnie van!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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What kind of car does Mickey Mouse drive?

A Minnie-van!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/canes24
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
🚨︎ report

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