Here we go again
"The artist must have been very jaded..."
Mount Rushmore
Use this nursery rhyme to play "scary/gross monster" with your tyke:
"The itsy bitsy spider climbed into Mia's mouth
Down to her ears and crawling in and out!
Out through her nose and tickled with her legs,
She made Mia sneeze her brains to scrambled eggs!
achoo splat bleah"
Substitute $name for Mia.
Spider hand chases while Dad reclines on bed. Tyke busily baits and counterattacks.
I dunno whether this qualifies as a Dad joke, but my wife hated it until she saw how much my daughter liked it. I feel like that fits the spirit of Dadness. For maximum results, send your wife the poem first.
In sundae school!
Mama MIA
Grandma-ma-mia
Last night at supper, this interchange occurred (it helps if you know we're from Oklahoma and speak with an Oklahoma drawl): Wife: "Come on little bug, and get some supper." Daughter: "Did you just call me a bug." Me (quickly looking at my wife): "Who is Mia Bugg, and why do ya have her phone number?"
Both wife and daughter stopped and stared at me for about 10 seconds, then slowly shook their heads and walked past me.
My dad: โYour brother just sent me a message saying heโd seen the new Mamma Mia, I sent him a photo of me and the new carโ
Me: โ.....โ
My dad:โI told him heโd now seen the new Papa Kia tooโ
Mamma MIA!
Today, my friend Mia and I found out we had PreCalculus together and thus sat across from each other and began talking about our schedules while our teacher prepared the student contracts. (For reference, Mr. Waage is one of the music teachers in my school.)
Mia- "I have Waage three times in my schedule this year and two are back to back." Me- "What periods do you have him?" Mia- "0, 4th, and 5th period." Me- "Looks like you are getting maximum Waage."
Grunts and cringes ensued
Wife: Could you get me some wine?
Me: BUTTTTTT WHHHHHYYYYYYYY?
Wife (Now giving me "that" look): Could you get me a glass of Mia, please?
Me: A glass of your-a what?
My wife just gave me the death glare after that.
