He made a pun in the shower, we giggled, and I noted how he's gone from hating puns to making his own. I called him my "young Padawan" and he responded, "You mean, Pun-awan?" It was seemless. I lost my shit. Just wanted to share with you guys :)
Absolutely nothing.
She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
Dad: Well, it means a great deal, actually…
All You Need Is Lunch
Do You Believe In Life After Lunch
Lunch In An Elevator
Son: “They’re below C level”
They're hoping you're gonna be in a cast.
Me: it's means being happy
Son: so are you gay dad?
Me: no son, I have an wife
and the box said 2-4 years!
"car-pool tunnel syndrome."
The conversation was pretty one-sided.
its Alamo'd?
...would be preposterous
Running out of gas
Does that make them Coffinated?
Me: because I really want to know
A Random Seer : "Either you are lying or you are an unawerewolf"
The result was divided.
My daughter said yes, and I replied, “So you’re de-Claritin that you’ve had it already?”
On each side of my buckin head you buckin idiot!!
A: Maybe it's feeling a bit low...
(Got me a screenshot of my epic slayage to prove it too! https://i.imgur.com/FPCvglr.png )
Now that’s just mean.
Does that mean that Mary had a little lamb?
I'm not sure if you do
A condescending con, descending.
I'll see myself out.
Apparently everyone I ask doesn’t know.
Love means nothing to them
She told me to grow up and stop being an idiot. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta.
All the others are non-binary
You must be a Simpson then.
He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
No one is giving me a straight answer
Nobody will give me a straight answer.
Kids these days have a lot of slang for a killer clown movie.
I said, “Usually to avoid answering questions like this one.”
