Gabe was muttering incoherently. He'd been up all night studying for the history exam.

I poked my head in his room, and he was blathering about how he wanted to quit school and be a truck driver.

"I'm gonna get one of those big beautiful Peterbuilts, with all the running lights everywhere. Or maybe a Mack with an extended cab..."

"Better brew him a pot of coffee," I told his mother. "The final is in a half hour, and he's only semi-conscious."

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👤︎ u/cja1968
📅︎ Nov 21 2020
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Got revenge on my Dad.

So my Dad and I were on the highway, after travelling for a couple hours, he said that he was hungry. My response? "Hi hungry, I'm Samdaman222, but there's a Big Mack". Pointing to the truck that was just passing.

I was happy with the joke being a double whopper.

Edit: Grammar.

👍︎ 48
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📅︎ Apr 04 2014
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Our neighborhood has a couple of peacocks.

Wife and I were driving down the street and saw the male and female peacocks together, which was rare. The male was spreading its feathers trying to impress the female.

Wife said, "Oh. We have to stop and take a picture!" I said, "No. Bro code. Can't interrupt him when he's macking." Wife was confused and asked what the hell I was talking about.

"Bros don't peacock block bros."

👍︎ 10
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👤︎ u/WiiWynn
📅︎ Sep 19 2015
🚨︎ report
Thanks to the following individuals for helping persuade me to become vegan ... (xpost /r/vegetarian)

Thanks to the following individuals for helping persuade me to become vegan:

Ron Acerous, Sal Amander, Herb Avore, Chic Adee, Al Bacore, Paul R Baer, Al Batros, Wally Bee, Lady Bugg, Jay Byrd, Ann Chovie, Anna Condra, Barry Cuda, Terry Dactyl, Ray N Deer, Flo N Der , Erma Dillo, Ann Enome, Terry Err, Liz Erd, Ann Fibian, Dale Finn, Redd Fox, Buddy Fly, Ken Garoo, Allie Gator, Billy Goat, Pan Guin, Ann Gus, Hal Ibut, Bob Katz, Tom Katz, Anne Kelosaurous, Don Key, Ann T. Lope, Moe Lusk, C. Lyon, Chip Monk, Flo Mingo, Sal Mon, Anna Mull, Barr Nicole, Kay Nine, Kyle Otee, Al Paca, Lia Pard, Millie Pede, Ellie Phant, Arthur Podd, Jack Rabbit, Gerry Raffe, Ty Ranaceourous, Mack Rell, Wally Rus, Jack Russel, Fez Sant, Dina Sauer, Drew Sophila, Chris Station, Hal Steen, Clyde Sudale, Ann Teeter, Pan Ther, Earl Thurfworm, Tara Ann Tula, Bea Tule, Ray Venn, Bea Ver, and Beau Vine.

I couldn't have done it without your support !!!

👍︎ 4
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📅︎ Dec 28 2016
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Gramps burnt me on this one

Me and my brother had just sat down on the couch visiting our family in California (from michigan) we weren't there for 5 minutes.

Grandma: Yeah squigies Mack plays guitar now too!

Me: Really? We should definitely jam soon then!

Grandpa in stride walking towards the door: I'll bring the toast

This is my future

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/SQUIGIES
📅︎ Dec 05 2013
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