One bird can't finish an entire bowl of Froot Loops

but toucan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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I heard that the Cap’n Crunch guy pranked the Froot Loops guy.

It’s ok, Toucan play that game.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shartnado3
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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Does a gif loop...

if no one is watching??

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gutwepe
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
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What do you call a whale with a twisted loop in its tail?

MΓΆebius Dick

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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Son, can you tie this rope into loops while I go to the bathroom?

I shit, you knot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RevanAndTheSithy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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Better with every loop.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zach5585
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
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I asked my son, "Hey, what do you call a rubber loop that you put rocks and bread into?" He shrugged and said he had no idea, so I answered…

"A rock and roll band!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender squints at hi
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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Having gay parents must be horrible

You either get twice the amount of dad jokes or you get stuck in an infinite loop of "go ask your mom."

Edit: On another Sub someone called me a homophobe. I want to say I'm not a homophobe it was simply a light hearted joke. I'm gay myself and wouldn't want to create hate or controversy. So sorry if I offended anyone.

Edit 2: Thanks for giving me my first award.

Edit 3: if you have heard it else where then fine Like this one guy in the comments said "I’ve seen it a few times but no doubt many people haven’t. No reason a good joke can’t be posted bc someone’s posted it in the past."

Edit 4: making too many edits but thanks for the gold kind stranger (And all of them means alot)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SergeantSolar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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Whoever called the loops in malls with restaurants "food courts" missed a huge opportunity. They ought to be cul-de-snacks.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Batshit_Betty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
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On mobile the r/perfect loops suggestion showed a wheel of ck that rotated between o and i. It said ick ock ick ock…obviously the T was cut off from the top. But watching it with out the the T made me think of Wild Bill

Wild Bill Hickock

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
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I often wish I'd been adopted by gay parents.

So I could have twice as many dad jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dilborg
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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You ever hear about the dude who rode his horse through a flaming loop?

His name was Medieval Knievel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sandra-Clapped
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
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What does a couple cans of ham and fruit loops have in common?

Two-cans ham

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fukncool
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
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My wife changed our cereal from Cheerios to Frosties, and I only noticed this morning

I felt a little out of the loop on that one

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Egreaves14
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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What’s brown and rhymes with Snoop

Dr. Dre

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πŸ‘€︎ u/howell1812
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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Spread the news! My Grizzly is stuck on loop!

This bears repeating.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lod254
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
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Much to my surprise they added a roundabout on my route to work.

It really threw me for a loop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ahatg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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Why did Jonny hang fruit loops across his windows?

He is a cereal drapist.

(credit to my actual dad for this joke)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokeaccount
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
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What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

"Do you smell carrots?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HotCuppaTeaOof
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
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What has wheels and prevents water rings

A roller coaster

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jtnels0
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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The term "caps" is not valid unless you multiply this...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Solilupus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
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Why was the mathematician arrested after a night out?

He was caught drinking and deriving.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flobadoba33
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2016
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Me: dad can I turn the air-conditioner on?

Dad: did you shampoo it first?

Me: what?

Dad: the air.

Me: ....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sexy_bluefin_tuna
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2018
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Apparently my friends started a hula hooping club but never told me about it.

They kept me out of the loop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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My friend once told me centrifugal force doesn't exist.

He was clearly out of the loop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OGgoob666
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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while playing electric guitar in my room using a loop-station (lets you record and keep playing along with it)

Dad: "dinner's ready when you're done playing with yourself"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eggs-benedict
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2013
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I really wish Velcro was cheaper.

Everywhere I go it is always such a rip off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/postedByDan
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
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Dad went out last night, "Guess who I saw last night?", he asks

"everyone i looked at"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rectic
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2017
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A string walks into a bar...

Bartender says "Hey! You're too young to be in here! Get lost!"

The string goes outside, and to disguise himself, ties himself in a loop and messes up his hair and walks back in.

The bartender sees him and yells "Hey! Aren't you the string I just threw out of here!?"

"I'm a frayed knot."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeChadley
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
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My Favorite Dad Joke

There were three medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of the lake, over which the kingdoms had been fighting for years. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island. The night before the battle, the knights and their squires pitched camp and readied themselves for the fight. The first kingdom had 12 knights, and each knight had five squires, all of whom were busily polishing armor, brushing horses, and cooking food. The second kingdom had twenty knights, and each knight had 10 squires. Everyone at that camp was also busy preparing for battle. At the camp of the third kingdom, there was only one knight, with his squire. This squire took a large pot and hung it from a looped rope in a tall tree. He busied himself preparing the meal, while the knight polished his own armor. When the hour of the battle came, the three kingdoms sent their squires out to fight (this was too trivial a matter for the knights to join in). The battle raged, and when the dust had cleared, the only person left was the lone squire from the third kingdom, having defeated the squires from the other two kingdoms, thus proving that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fracturedsplintX
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2018
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I made a belt out of watches

Now I'm stuck in a time loop

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vernal59
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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Ex-hula hoop champions wouldn't even understand the sophisticated techniques of current competitors.

They've just been out of the loop for too long.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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How does Toucan Sam wear a belt?

He puts it through his loops

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BermudaRhombus1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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My friend said, "Centrifugal force? Never heard of it..."

"You must be out of the loop..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/profgarden
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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I left the hula hooping club because I didn't like the way they were treating me.

I was kept out of the loop the whole time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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Teaching my 4yo how to write

What letter is this?

"Y"

Because I'm asking you! What letter is it??

"Y!"

How am I supposed to know if you've learnt it if you don't tell me?? What letter is this??

I look at him. He's looking at me. I can see his brain stuck in a loop he's not sure how to get out of. He sees me starting to crack up and out it comes, the unquestionable evidence of a successful dad joke

"Ugh! DAAAAAAAAADDDD"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DreamSmuggler
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
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What animal is known for running in straight lines?

The anti-loop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Valdagast
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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I tried to start a Velcro business

But it didn't stick.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiteMos
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2018
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Why was a man watching his buddies hang so confused?

It was because he was out of the loop

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blletbetter
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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I piece of string walks into a bar

The string says to the bartender, β€œOne beer, please.” The bartender looks at him and says, β€œWe don’t serve your kind here.”

The string goes outside, loops itself around a few times, and goes back inside. The bartender asks, β€œAren’t you the guy from before?” The piece of string says, β€œI’m a frayed knot.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheManicMonocle
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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Do you know anything about Kirchoff's Current Law?

I'm only familiar with his older stuff. Sorry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PRESTOALOE
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2015
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Not sure who Travis is

But he really needs to stop making tea, it's ruining everybody's life. Every time something bad happens, all i hear is "what a Travis tea".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CeleresVerraden
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2017
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A string goes into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve strings here, mate". String goes out, loops itself and frazzles the bitter end. Goes back in the bar and the bartender says "Aren't you that string from a few minutes ago?"

Which came the reply "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
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Why is it more fun to play checkers with Froot Loops for pieces?

Because toucan play at that game.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2018
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Having gay parents must be really difficult.

Either twice the Dad jokes or an infinite loop of β€œGo ask your mom”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
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What animal is known for running in straight lines?

The Anti-loop

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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A string walks into a bar...

Bartender: β€œHey we don’t serve strings here.”

(String walks out and ties himself in a loop and messes up his hair... the string then walks back into the bar)

Bartender: β€œAre you the string that was just in here?”

String: β€œNope, I’m a frayed knot”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timaaayyy
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lame_Carrot
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2017
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