I exercise by running up the street and knocking on all the doors....

Jehovah's Fitness.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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My friend rolled the ball down the lane 10 times, knocking over all the pins each time!

It was a super bowl!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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The greatest baseball player ever was a guy named Hugh McBealy, and he was most famous for every single time he came to the plate knocking the ball high over right field and into the stands.

He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.

He earned the nickname β€œthe machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.

And the day he retired a reporter asked him β€œHow does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”

Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. β€œWhat do you mean?” He said.

The reporter clarified β€œliterally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”

Hugh looked dejected and disappointed β€œyeah, my greatest failure...”

β€œWhat do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.

Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.

β€œI’ve been aiming left this whole time”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frnklfrwsr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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I recently had a fellow knocking door to door asking for donations for our local pool...

I was happy to give him a full glass of water to help!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pyrojodge
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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Did you hear about the pasta sauce that was really good at knocking down pins?

It was a bowlin’ ace.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CMoy1980
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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My cat got on my bathroom counter and started knocking things off

It was counter-productive

(My cat didn’t laugh at it either)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Abtino11
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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My bloody neighbour was knocking on my door at 2am !!

Luckily I was still up playing my drums.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Obrigado2020
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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In an alternate universe, there’s probably a sentient kitchen wash basin knocking at your front door. Let that sink in,
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Betamax-86
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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Danger, Fear, and Panic came knocking at my door. It'd been ten years since the last visit, and all holding clipboards, were ready to begin the inquisition. Nervously, I opened the door and prepared myself to answer their calling.

"Sense us."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeromocles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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My neighbor came knocking on my door at 2:30 am. Unbelievable!

Luckily I was still up playing my bagpipes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dconnerj12
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2018
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A cashier walked over to a blind man that was knocking things off the shelves with his cane and asked if he needed any help

He replied, β€œnope, just looking”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dollbot3
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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I had all of the local papers knocking on my door due to the size of the pickle I grew.

It's kind of a big dill.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ralph-Hinkley
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
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Did you guys see the video of the dolphin knocking the trainer into the pool?

Some say it was an accident, but I think he did it on porpoise.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
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How do you know a drummer is knocking on your door?

It keeps getting faster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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A carpenter was tired of people knocking down a symbol of his country. What did he have to do?

Make a stand for the flag.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImpureInn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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I really like answering the door when I know who it is that's knocking.

I'm a peep-hole person.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/raimbows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2017
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Why was Bob Dylan knocking on heaven's door?

Because there was Nobel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vegguy99
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2017
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Dad Jokes aren't limited to dads it seems. 20 year old female knocking one out...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_majorly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2013
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Cops came knocking on my door... twitter.com/ACracknell79/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KickapooPonies
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2013
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My gf was thinking about taking a minor in geography. I was knocking them out of the park.

"I was thinking about trying out a geography minor."

"Oh really? What makes you want to head in that direction." - Pun one she doesn't acknowledge

"I don't know I just find it interesting. I think I'd like to try human geography."

"Oh really? My cousin told me he took physical geography and said it rocks." - She pauses and stares at me with an unimpressed face, but reluctantly continues

"No I think people geography would be more my style."

"Ya I can see that. You're much more of a people person." - Her eyes flare as it's obvious shes holding back a bellowing guffaw

"We're done here."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RepostFrom4chan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2014
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A bathroom fixture is knocking at the door.

Let that sink in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hawkluger
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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My friend has had a wash basin that's been knocking on his front door for 5 hours

Just let that sink in

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report

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