A list of puns related to "Whack"
Welcome.. to the world of le pain!
Nowadays you'd call him a scorekeeper, but back then he was a tally whacker.
He always wears his tee-shirt when golfing.
Guac-a-mole
Huur byyym bou by z gfb bfeey jnndtrgg husk hnfddn juyhnb fdsasq wghhng gun the bf JFG..
It's a knick knack, patty whack. Give a frog a loan?
Whackamoley.
He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
Al Ca-put
It was a knick-knack paddy whack
My Dad told me his neighbor was weed whacking and ended up snipping off a quarter of his cats tail by mistake. He ended up bringing the cat to Walmart because they are the worlds biggest retailer.
The police said this is the first known case of a knick knack paddy whack
It was a Nick neck patty whack.
Gu-whack-a-mole
When she arrived at the zoo she went to see her manager and asked what she should do, the manager told her to first go feed the sharks, so she went off to feed them. Whilst she was shovelling the food into the pool a shark jumped out of the water and tried to bite her, as a reflex she hit the shark with the spade and the shark died. Worried about losing her job this soon the woman started brainstorming what to do, eventually she decided to feed the dead shark to the lions thereby removing all evidence and so that is what she did. Shaken but glad she had avoided detection the women went back to see her manager and asked if there was anything else that needed doing, she was told to go and clean out the monkey cage.. So off the woman went with a wheelbarrow and shovel to clean out the cage, as she was shovelling the poop into the barrow a monkey jumped down from the tree towards her! As a reflex reaction the women smashed the monkey with the spade and it lay dead. Thankfully she knew just what to do and so she threw the monkey into the lion cage. Shaken and ready to go home by now, the women went to see if there were any final jobs that needed doing: she was tasked with collecting the honey from the bees. So she got changed into her protective gear however she forgot to tuck in the back of her shirt so when it came to doing the bees, one particularly large bee came and stung her right on the behind! The woman screamed and started whacking the bees until many lay dead. By now she didn’t even have to think.. she collected the dead bees and threw them in the lion cage before going home for a quiet evening.
The next day there was a new lion in the lion cage. The new lion said to the other lions “so what’s the food like here??” The other lions responded...
“Actually it’s quite good. Yesterday we had FISH, CHIMPS and MUSHY BEES!”
One goes whack...dammit! The other goes dammit...whack!
It's cutting hedge technology...
From all the whacks
We were discussing how to make Cauliflower cheese, for our son's lunches this week. So you start with a roux and add milk to make white sauce, then add cheese to make cheese sauce. She then asked "what else can you add to a roux?" I quickly replied "there's always kanga." It took her a second, then she whacked me. My job is done.
A Knick-nack patty whack
Apparently, it was the first ever case of a knick-knack-paddy-whack.
I broke my nose in a really stupid horse-related accident in Montana.
Dad takes me to the local walk-in clinic. It's mostly empty, as it's around 7pm. As we're giving the insurance information and whatnot to the receptionist, Dad is busy doing that thing where he's texting without his cheaters so he's having to squint and hold the phone away and he's really not paying attention to some question the receptionist is asking...
So I whack him on the arm (with a towel held to my face) and say "Dad, pay attention."
Unblinking, he turns in my direction, without even looking directly at me, he mutters "Shut up, or I'll hit you again."
The receptionist was not pleased. He told the same joke to the doctor who stitched me up, and he laughed his ass off.
Actually, dad cracked so many jokes that the doctor kept having to pause while stitching up my nose. He took so long that the anesthetic wore off and I could definitely feel the last few stitches.
Dr: "Now sir, the stitches are going to cause your daughter's nose to swell quite a bit." Dad: "EVEN BIGGER!? That's amazing!"
Me: "Shut up Dad". Dad: (pinching his nose, speaking nasally) "Shut up Dad".
Unamused 18 year old daughter.
It's a whacks museum.
Whack-a-mol-ey
I bet their Cicadian Rhythm is totally out of whack.
One goes Whack, Darn. The other goes Darn, Whack
A frog walks into a bank. He walks up to a desk and sees the name plate "Patty Whack Loan Officer". He says "I'd like to get a loan to start a business making lily-pad art." Patty, a little put off by a talking frog says "Okay, but we are going to need some kind of collateral." The frog says"I have this." and he puts a small porcelain figurine on her desk. She says "That's very nice but I'm not sure it's enough. Do you have any references?" "Sure!" the frog replies. "My Father is Mic Jager!" Further taken aback, Patty says, "I'll have to check this with the bank manager." She calls the bank manager over and explains the odd situation. "I don't know what's going on...this frog says his father is Mic Jager and all he has for collateral is this...figurine thing." The bank manager looks up and smiles at her and says "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan! His old man's a rolling stone!"
To which I replied: "Hmph. Somebody must have whacked it."
Girlfriend rolled her eyes so hard she must have seen her brain.
The suspect allegedly put a Happy Meal toy into his victim's hamburger, choking him to death. One detective turned to the other and said, "Boy, I'm not sure what to do with this one - I've never had a knicknack patty whack before."
Over the years my dad has done the very old, very lame "Hi _____, I'm Dad."
Today he got stuck in a ditch after sliding on some ice. Once home he looks angry so I said "Hey, you look pretty angry." He says "I'm pissed off." FINALLY. My moment has come, I will have the great pleasure of doing it, I open my mouth and these little words come out. "Hi I'm piss-" WHACK
He knew what was coming and wouldn't allow it.
TLDR; Don't dadjoke your dad when he's angry.
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"
A frog walks into a bank and approaches the teller, whose name plate says Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $50,000 loan to take a vacation."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.
"Kermit Jagger. My father is Mick Jagger. It will be fine to authorize the loan, I know your manager."
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
"Sure, how about this," said Kermit as he produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
Patty walks into the manager's office and proceeds to tell her, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $50,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." Patty holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says..."It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
The police said this is the first known case of a knick knack paddy whack.
One goes whack "shit"
The other goes "shit" whack
... and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone".
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
They said it was the first known case of a knick knack paddy whack.
The frog is greeted by the teller whose name is Patty Whack. The frog asks Patty for a loan, patty tells the frog to get the loan she will need a reference and a form of collateral. The frog says “well my father is Mick Jagger and I have a small porcelain elephant that I can give you. Patty says “I’ll need to speak with my manager” and leaves to the back. When Patty returns the frog asks “what did the manager say?” and she tells the frog the manager said “It’s a Knick-knack Patty Whack, give the frog a loan, his old man is a Rolling Stone!”
The police said this is the first known case of a knick knack paddy whack.
A golfer goes whack "damn" and a skydiver goes "damn" whack.
He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a vacation."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
.
.
.
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
"It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
It is the first documented case of a knick-knack paddy whack.
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