Infection Puns

A list of puns related to "Infection"

My doctor said today that I have a bladder infection

I asked him what that means for me and he replied, "Urine trouble."

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👤︎ u/TheAzrael2013
📅︎ Apr 26 2021
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What type of infection does a work facility have?

A staff infection.

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👤︎ u/Brodsley
📅︎ Feb 04 2021
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A new disease is sweeping the world. It's a type of nostril infection, very costly to test for

But one man, born with extra sensitive smelling, has been providing free exams to the public to eradicate this new threat. Dr. Theodore Nose of UCH Hospital has a long line of patients waiting every morning, wanting the incredible accuracy of this man.

And as his secretary says...

No one's nose knows noses like Nose's nose knows noses.

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👤︎ u/TheRichTookItAll
📅︎ Feb 03 2021
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What country is the easiest to get an infection from the germs?

Germ many

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👤︎ u/hokieokie
📅︎ Nov 23 2020
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*Wakes up with ear infection*

Bat: I'M BLIIIIIND

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👤︎ u/just-going-with-it
📅︎ Aug 28 2020
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Son:What happens when white blood cells fail to protect us from an infection?

Dad:Their effort goes in vein.

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👤︎ u/yaboi_akshat
📅︎ Jul 02 2020
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I just got over a bad staff infection.

Now I have a temporary employee infection.

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👤︎ u/throwaway2032015
📅︎ Jul 18 2020
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I'm sorry but you can't ride your pony today it has a throat infection.

It's a little hoarse.

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👤︎ u/Datolite7
📅︎ May 31 2020
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What do you call a color infection?

Crayola virus

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👤︎ u/Horses77
📅︎ Apr 13 2020
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Apparently they tried to weaponise yeast infections ......

It was truly bread for war.

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👤︎ u/jayforder
📅︎ Oct 06 2019
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I got a fungal infection the other day.

I hated it at first, but now it’s starting to grow on me.

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👤︎ u/Assorted-Interests
📅︎ Feb 25 2020
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Mr. Cleaver got a staph infection...

Ward have MRSA!

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👤︎ u/ax2ronn
📅︎ Dec 19 2019
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My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.

I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.

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👤︎ u/ICWhatsNUrP
📅︎ Jan 09 2020
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My half sister just got a really bad infection just like me...

She's my Sepsis

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👤︎ u/jackwhitworth
📅︎ Sep 15 2019
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What do you call a hippo with a sinus infection?

A heaposnotamus

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👤︎ u/majblackburn
📅︎ Oct 03 2019
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Did you hear about the new soda that cures sexual transmitted infections?

It's called Hep-C Cola.

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👤︎ u/TraditionSmashed
📅︎ Apr 28 2019
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What did the doctor say to the nurse that was attractive to the patient with the staph infection?

Why are you so abscess-ed with him?

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👤︎ u/kbuck7777
📅︎ Apr 20 2019
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How do plants get viral infections?

Through the birds and the bees

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👤︎ u/inoue-lilymei
📅︎ Dec 13 2018
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Last week my wife was telling me about her bladder infection

to which I replied "urine trouble".

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👤︎ u/inspectred
📅︎ Aug 09 2017
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What infection do you get when your friend discovers your reddit account?

Connorrhea. Fuck you, Connor. 🖕

Backstory: I received this message first thing in the morning in response to this post I made last week.

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👤︎ u/OfficialRichardKiel
📅︎ Feb 23 2017
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My younger brother had an eye infection and I asked how he was.

He replied that it was getting better.

"Glad to see that you're alr-eye-ght" I said.

He asked if I had any more bad puns to make.

"I do, but the rest are just cornea".

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👤︎ u/rufnek2kx
📅︎ Jan 03 2018
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What happens when you have a bladder infection?

Urine trouble

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👤︎ u/shrexymexy
📅︎ Mar 07 2021
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If you get a bladder infection

Urine trouble.

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👤︎ u/HypnoSnurtle
📅︎ Jan 29 2021
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When you have a bladder infection

urine trouble

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👤︎ u/VVIIVVI
📅︎ Jan 21 2021
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What happens when you get a bladder infection?

Urine trouble.

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👤︎ u/Helpful-Hayden
📅︎ Feb 16 2020
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Man, when you have a bladder infection...

Urine trouble.

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👤︎ u/6223Error
📅︎ Jul 22 2019
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when you have a bladder infection...

...urine trouble!

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👤︎ u/mellon_coliee
📅︎ Aug 12 2019
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If you have a bladder infection.....

Urine trouble

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👤︎ u/B-man44
📅︎ Sep 10 2019
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What happens when you have a bladder infection?

Urine Trouble.

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👤︎ u/weeaboolover
📅︎ Jul 24 2019
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If you have a bladder infection

Urine trouble. 🤪

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👤︎ u/PewPewWizard2000
📅︎ Sep 08 2018
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What happens when you have a bladder infection?

Urine Trouble

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👤︎ u/ChingChongMan123
📅︎ May 06 2018
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What does it mean when the doctor tells you that you have bladder infection?

Urine trouble

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👤︎ u/RealComradeMeep
📅︎ Apr 16 2019
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What happens when you get a bladder infection?

Urine trouble

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👤︎ u/music_snobbbb
📅︎ Mar 20 2019
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If you get a bladder infection,

urine trouble.

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👤︎ u/PimplupXD
📅︎ Jul 18 2018
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What happens when you have a bladder infection?

Urine trouble!

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👤︎ u/soulLivinInAFishbowl
📅︎ Jan 31 2018
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What happens when you have a bladder infection?

Urine trouble

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👤︎ u/shurgery
📅︎ Aug 22 2017
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