[Meta] Don't half ass a pun, Go in puns blazing (resubmit)
So do you call person who's really good in pun as pun master?
Or a pundit? I think I spun it incorrectly.
I think the girl at the Airlines check-in just threatened me.
She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Window or aisle?”
I laughed in her face and replied, “Window or you’ll what?”
I have a friend with no social skills and a Ph.D in the history of palindromes.
Personally, I don't believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros.
There needs to be a balance.
A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.
Funny how in the past everyone owned horses and only the rich owned cars, and now everyone has cars and only the rich have horses...
My how the stables have turned.
Edit: Wow guys, thanks for all the love!
I told my daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She said, "What's that got to do with anything?"
I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."
Two drunk guys were fighting. One of them drew a line in the dirt, and said if the other crossed it they would punch them in the face.
The mayor in my city just passed law that male best friends have to have lunch together at least once a week
Well it’s not a law it’s a mandate
As I put my car in reverse, I thought to myself...
I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....
It was always just one ting after another.
Edit: Thanks for all the positive reactions to this joke. I’m glad I could make a few of you chuckle today.
From Berlin to Warsaw in one tank
Arkansas is the only state mentioned in the Bible.
“Noah walked out onto the ark and saw....”
In an alternate universe, Hercules was a girl.
Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins?
You just have to listen varicosely
A cheese factory exploded in France.
My birthday is on July 24th, shame I was born in america. If I was born anywhere else....
my birthday would be 24/7
Merry Christmas everyone! (Repost from Facebook, Credits in the image)
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison.
Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
I don’t mean to brag, but I just put a puzzle together in 1 day...
and the box said 2-4 years!
Prediction: There will be a minor Baby Boom in 9 months, and then one day in 2033 we will witness the rise of
I've decided to invest all my money in soup stocks
I want to be a bouillonaire.
If a woman says she'll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be.
No need to remind her every half hour.
Accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth this morning...
Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent.
I left my Adderall in my Ford Fiesta
What do you call 2 guys tied up and stuck in a window?
I can't tell you all Japanese history in one joke...
Looks like I have all my ducks in a row
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?
My Dad just said this one in the drive-thru not 2 minutes ago
First Window staffer, who takes the payment: "Hi, it's $7.30 (said like 'seven-thirty')
My Father: "No it's not, it's only 1 o' clock"
4 men were sitting in a boat about to smoke a cigarette, when they realized they didn't have a cigarette lighter.
So, they threw one cigarette off their boat and the boat became one cigarette lighter.
If a father in Iraq gifts his daughter a new bag, what will she say?
I feel like this meme fits in here.
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention..... ill see myself out
How was Rome split in two?
What field does Dr.Pepper have a PhD in?
I heard that by law you need to turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden
How the hell am I supposed to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
I switched labels in my wife's spice cabinet.
She hasn't noticed, but the thyme is cumin.
In spite of all our disagreements on Reddit, I’m glad about one thing.
Every one reading this is on the same page.
Edit: Thanks guys. This is way too much love.
I watched Bohemian Rhapsody three times in a row, and now I feel a little sick.
It must be the high Mercury content.
What do you call a girl in the middle of a tennis court?
I've started investing in stocks: beef, chicken and vegetable
One day, I hope to be a bouillonaire!
I can't find my 'Gone In 60 seconds' DVD.
It was here a minute ago.
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