βͺWhy canβt 2021 take a picture in the dark
because it doesnβt have flash
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︎ Jan 01 2021
I always said that I would never ever go walking the dark scary tunnels in the earth.
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︎ Mar 13 2021
A shot in the dark
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︎ Sep 01 2020
Why was the director unhappy with the close-ups in the Dark Knight trilogy?
All he was getting was Bale-ful looks.
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︎ Jan 21 2021
I've just discovered the Cantonese culture of doing maths in a dark room at breakfast
Apparently they enjoy dim sums in the morning
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︎ Nov 01 2020
My wife told me it's too dangerous to put away dishes in the dark
I said "it's a whisk I'm willing to take"
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︎ Aug 25 2020
While sailing across the ocean, the night watchman saw a dark shape in the distance. He called the First Mate, who also couldn't tell what it was. So he called the Captain. "I can't tell either," he said. "Fetch me an obstetrician."
The obstetrician came to the bridge, squinted into the night and said:
"Congratulations, Captain. It's a buoy!"
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︎ Oct 18 2020
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you donβt.β And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town canβt be buried here.β I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz theyβre still alive!"
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︎ Jul 28 2019
My daughter wanted to play hide and seek in the dark. I said "That means I would only be able to find you using sound ...
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︎ Jun 08 2020
My new business failed miserably, I was selling T-shirts featuring glow in the dark dollar bills
But then my Dad reminded me: money doesnβt glow on tees.
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︎ Feb 13 2020
Sex in the dark is overrated.
I want to see what I'm getting into.
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︎ Feb 16 2020
Children in the dark make accidents,but accidents in the dark make children.
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︎ Aug 27 2019
My dog has a glow-in-the-dark tennis ball
We try not to leave it in the yard on sunny days, because that would lead to glow ball warming.
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︎ Jan 22 2020
Why is "Dark" spelled with a K, and not a C ? Because you canβt C in the dark.
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︎ Feb 19 2019
What do you call a flower that glows in the dark?
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 08 2020
I admit I took a shot in the dark
Iran out of plausible deniability
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︎ Jan 12 2020
Why is it so dark in the Apple factory?
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︎ Oct 10 2018
Me and my date got tired of eating in dark restaurants, the food isn't even that great
Today we ate the dinner with delight.
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︎ Oct 05 2019
I was taking my kids trick or treating along a dark country road, on a moonless Halloween night, when all of a sudden, a vampire swooped down from the darkness and landed right in front of us!
My daughter shrieked,"Quick dad, show him your cross!"
Without a second thought, I shouted, "YOU LEAVE US ALONE YOU BIG MEAN OLD VAMPIRE!!"
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︎ Oct 31 2017
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb in the dark?
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︎ Apr 27 2019
Hereβs a shot in the dark at telling a dad joke
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︎ Jun 06 2019
We work in the dark to serve the light
Assassins?
No, electricians.
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︎ Jan 22 2019
Was working under the sink in the dark, and my wife asked if I needed a light.
I told her no thanks, I don't smoke.
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︎ Apr 14 2019
Never ride your horse in the dark.
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︎ Dec 19 2018
What do you call cheese that glows in the dark?
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 11 2019
Have you ever pooped in the dark?
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︎ Jul 27 2018
What kind of horse only rides in the dark?
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︎ Aug 03 2018
If you're shopping for horses in the dark, go for stallions.
I mean, you don't want nightmares do you.
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︎ Jun 18 2016
What did the bucket say to the rope in the dark?
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︎ Jan 29 2016
How do you find King Arthur in the dark?
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︎ Aug 19 2013
Sitting in my office, scanning reddit in the dark...
Daughter calls out: "Dad, why are you in the dark?"
Me: "BECAUSE NOBODY WILL TELL ME THE TRUTH!"
groaning was heard...
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︎ Aug 10 2014
Can cats see in the dark?
Yes! They see a whole lot of dark!
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︎ Mar 01 2014
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you donβt.β And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town canβt be buried here.β I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz theyβre still alive!"
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︎ Jul 26 2020
Children in the dark make accidents
But accidents in the dark make children
π︎ 39
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︎ Jan 12 2019
What you do in the dark..
π︎ 7
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︎ Oct 09 2018
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