Did you know that the celebrityJonathan Ross was making illicit alcohol?

It was a whisky business

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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Difference between "illegal" and "illicit"

Boyfriend, boyfriend's dad and I are in the car on our way to a restaurant. Boyfriend and I are discussing the difference between the definitions of "illegal" and "illicit". We finally settle on what we think is right, when his dad chips in: "Now I always thought the definition of "illegal" was "a sick bird" !

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2013
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Came up with this gem at the optometrist

Q: what is it called when two eye doctors are having an illicit affair?

A: An optome-tryst

Cue eye rolling and groans

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brittlesworth
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2015
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Spent the Weekend With The Family...

Some precursor- I'm 27, my girlfriend is 34; we visited my family who lives in another state this past weekend for easter. The last two days I started to write down every horrible attempt at a joke my dad did. So these were just the best of the last two days. Note that this was the first time my girlfriend had met them.

When watching a commercial on liposuction, "I was going to get liposuction but they just melt it out, I wanted them to ZAP it out"

When getting directions, "Should I use my Gsp? (I think it was a joke trying to comment on the similar sound between esp and gps... not sure though)

When a commercial kept repeating "we can", he said (to the tune of ice cream ice cream we all scream for...)"WE CAN! WE CAN! WE ALL SCREAM FOR... ... DEATHcam" (I think he realized he had no joke there so sort of trailed off)

Finally, the worst. When we're pulling up to a state park, he's reading the signs that warn about rattlesnakes and scorpions. He leans in and says, "Hey, I've got a great survival tip" with a serious stern face, "Don't feed the rattlesnakes". Then cracks up with a silly laugh as if it's the funniest joke ever created. He realized that no one was laughing, so he thought if he repeated it a few times, it might get funnier. He continued throwing that joke out every time we got to a sign that had wildlife warnings. Seeing this strategy was failing to illicit any laughs, he decided to go with a new approach. He started saying "Don't feed the scorpions,"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Burge97
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2014
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