Did you hear about the man who abandoned his diet, for an ice cream cone?

What a desserter!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cabbithunt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What did Thumper get charged with when he stole a slurp of Bambi's ice-cream cone?

Assault-lick.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Animakitty
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Ice Cream Cone
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/z_Elektrisk_z
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone?

He got hit by a bus

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/firepower98
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
When your ice cream cone misbehaves...

Sometimes you just have to give it a good lickin'

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JBaczuk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
A donut, cupcake, and a ice cream cone crossed the road...

The streets were oddly desserted that night.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend turned into an ice cream cone whilst on holiday

He's been a wafer so long now

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jonhinchliffe10
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2017
🚨︎ report
7 yr old daughter dropped this when I held up her 2 ice cream cone shaped nail polish bottles to my eyes

Me: "hi I'm jimmy ice cream eyes" Her: "hi Jimmy, you're looking sharp today.." As she walked away.

It's like she doesn't even have to try

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/legomason
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2016
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked over an ice cream cone

I put together ice cream cones for dessert for my husband and six kids, then scooped some ice cream into a bowl for myself. My husband's friend (dad of one) came in and asked for a cone for himself. He noticed my bowl and asked me what I had against cones. I explained that I'm soy-intolerant, and the cones have soy in them.

He immediately said, "Oh, I'm soy sorry."

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/busykat
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2014
🚨︎ report
Driving past a guy dressed as an ice cream cone handing out flyers...

...my younger brother asks out loud "What's that guy doing?"

Without a seconds hesitation my dad: "He's just chilling out"

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/c14ret
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2013
🚨︎ report
Need help thinking of an ice cream pun

More specifically, my friend and I are going to every ice cream place we possibly can this summer and want to think of a name for our little adventure. "Tour de cone" is a dumb example we came up with. Anyone have other suggestions!? Thanks!

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Culc16
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2017
🚨︎ report
Came across some roadworks with Dad

Picture a road like this, covered in traffic cones and traffic slowed to a crawl.

Dad: An ice cream van crashed here this morning.

Me: Really?

Dad: Yeah, look at all the cones on the road.

*slaps steering wheel in delight

πŸ‘︎ 714
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/noelbuttersworth
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2013
🚨︎ report
Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? β€œMy Fare, Lady”.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physician’s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


β€œWhat’s purple and 5000 miles long?” β€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”


Every calendar’s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. β€œFour bucks,” says the bartender. β€œPut it on my bill.”


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
🚨︎ report
Daughter had a good dad joke

She got an ice cream cone from the freezer. When she opened it, and found the tip of the cone was broken. She said " there's no point eating this."

πŸ‘︎ 131
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/keepmecoming
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2016
🚨︎ report
My father dropped this one on the family while eating self serve icecream...

So we're out at a salad buffet type restaurant with self server ice-cream. My father, being quite the large human, makes himself a monstrosity of an ice-cream. This thing is like 6-8 inches tall and sitting on a baby sugar cone. He proceeds to eat the phalic dessert with much enthusiasm and I ask him,

"Dad are you enjoying that?"

He stops mid lick

"Not half as much as this icecream is"

My father ladies and gentlemen.

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lovewarevolution
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2013
🚨︎ report
Wife dadjoked me after a trip to the ice cream store

We visited a homemade ice cream store yesterday where they make their own waffle cones right there in front of you as you wait. As we were loading the family back in the car, I remarked that we all smelled like waffle cones. My wife responded with:

"How WAFFLE!"

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ALinchpin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2014
🚨︎ report
Swedish joke

My dad was telling me about how my cousin in Sweden ate some glass the other day. Turns out glass means "ice cream" in Swedish, and he went on to explain that "Swedes who live in glass houses shouldn't snow cones." That was about the hardest I've ever groaned.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/superblockio
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2015
🚨︎ report
Where's the ice cream?

I work as a delivery driver for an industrial supply company, and today I was delivering some pylons to a client. I walked inside and found the nearest person to ask them for a verification signature for the delivery. I walked up to a man I recognized as the dad of one of my high school friends. He looked at me with a shit-eating grin and said "Where's the ice cream?" I looked at him, totally confused. "What?" I said. "Where's the ice cream?" he repeated. I stared at him with a blank look hoping he'd explain himself. Then he looked at the pylons I was delivering and said "Well, you brought the cones, so where's the ice cream?"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2014
🚨︎ report
Thought they were called sprinkles!

So my girlfriends dad goes in an ice cream shop and orders a large vanilla cone.

The employee asks if he would like jimmies

"No! I don't want jimmies, I want my own."

My face to my girlfriend http://memeguy.com/photos/images/mrw-i-make-a-dirty-joke-out-of-an-innocent-comment-from-my-dad-and-he-glares-at-me-24139.gif

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PizzaMink
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.