Helium walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here."

Helium just didn't react.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
🚨︎ report
How does helium laugh?

HeHeHeHe

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yududa
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I just quit my job at the helium factory.

I won’t be spoken to in that tone.

πŸ‘︎ 225
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sandyatk445
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why wasn't helium surprised or shocked when it won the lottery?

Because it's not a very good reactor

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ginks_21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
The police arrested me for being a helium balloon.

They held me for a while but eventually let me go.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eddie_Youds
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I think Helium hates my jokes.

He doesn’t react to any of them.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndrewYTTRA
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Laughing gas should be Helium instead of Nitrous Oxide.

Not only does it make your voice sound funny, but a bunch of it together goes He He He.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hangmandelta
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientists have recently recorded the sounds of two helium atoms laughing

HeHe

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I was arrested earlier for stealing helium balloons.

The cops held me for a while, then let go .

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I was reading a book on Helium

I couldn't put it down

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve got a joke about helium.

It’s light humor.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedShirtCashion
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My next joke is going to be about helium.

It's a gas!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What do Michael Jackson and a helium molecule have in common?

They both go β€œhehe”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisvskris
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Helium say when he was invited to the party?

He didn't have a reaction.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoggishNoob
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the chemist say when they found two new isotopes of helium?

HeHe

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ashwynee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
How many Helium molecules does it take to make a chemist giggle?

Three.

HeHeHe

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dvdcrlsn
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
You know why inhaling helium will make a man sound like a woman?

Because helium is a no-ball gas.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kenhamef
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
People say filling animals with helium is wrong.

Okay, whatever floats your goat!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Parkwad
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Hydrogen: Helium, how do I become like you?

Helium: Be noble.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zuwiboiii
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend recently told me a joke about Helium

He He He

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
🚨︎ report
And Helium says "He He He".
πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yugvijay
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was Helium in court?

He broke the law of gravity

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StrijderMilan
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My addiction to Helium is out of control, but...

No one is taking my cries for help seriously.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBigSubpoena
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about how the world is apparently running out of helium?

Lies.

All lies, just fed to us by the big ballon and helium companies to inflate their prices.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaiken_m
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do balloons filled with helium cost more than balloons sold in packages?

Inflation

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Helium jokes make me laugh

HeHeHe

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rohlnik
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the scientist say when he found two atoms of helium?

HeHe.

my biology teacher told this one in class today.

i was the only student that found it genuinely funny.

the class was silent, besides me. i was laughing. really hard.

:'(

πŸ‘︎ 132
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πŸ‘€︎ u/psychedelic-soul
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
The only thing I got for my wife on her birthday was a big helium balloon.

It didn’t go down very well.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What's funny about 3 helium atoms?

He He He

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Former_Idealist
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the man fill his attic up with Helium?

He wanted a light house

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brewdaddy01
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a scientist say when he finds 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do people charge money for helium when it’s supposed to be free of charge?
πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pacos-ego
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Since I became manager of a helium factory, my employee speak very highly of me.
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Helium tried to talk to his friends calcium and aluminium

But they were busy on a CaAl

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fakipo2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I've got a friend who works with helium balloons.

They speak very highly of everyone.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickl444
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
How does a chemist laugh? Helium helium helium oxygen magnesium.

HeHeHe OMg

πŸ‘︎ 108
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PhpXp
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Scientists have recorded two helium atoms laughing

https://m.imgur.com/a/QBBtoR9

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrmslesbro
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I quit my job at the helium factory today.

I will not be spoken to in that tone of voice!

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve noble gases"

He doesn't react.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wellimnotdeadyet
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I quit my job at the helium gas factory today

I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lez566
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit my job at the helium factory.

I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientists record the sound of two helium atoms laughing.

HeHe

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I was arrested yesterday for stealing helium balloons,

The police held me for a while then let me go.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I was reading a book about helium

I couldn’t put it down

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Contonion
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
After a long argument with my boss, I quit my job at the helium factory.

I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.

πŸ‘︎ 633
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Some people say filling balloon animals with helium is wrong.

But whatever floats your goat.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the scientist say when he popped two helium balloons?

He He.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shipostingcat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I quit my job at the helium factory today.

I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NameViolation666
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Like filling animals with helium?

Whatever floats your goat.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TomHopeless
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
People say filling animals with helium is wrong...

I say "whatever floats your goat."

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Guy2things
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report

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