Helium walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here."

Helium just didn't react.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JamesIsNotAGiantNoob
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 21 2021
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How does helium laugh?

HeHeHeHe

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Yududa
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 16 2021
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I just quit my job at the helium factory.

I won’t be spoken to in that tone.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 225
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sandyatk445
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 26 2020
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Why wasn't helium surprised or shocked when it won the lottery?

Because it's not a very good reactor

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ginks_21
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 24 2020
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The police arrested me for being a helium balloon.

They held me for a while but eventually let me go.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Eddie_Youds
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 22 2021
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I think Helium hates my jokes.

He doesn’t react to any of them.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AndrewYTTRA
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 03 2020
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Laughing gas should be Helium instead of Nitrous Oxide.

Not only does it make your voice sound funny, but a bunch of it together goes He He He.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hangmandelta
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2020
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Scientists have recently recorded the sounds of two helium atoms laughing

HeHe

πŸ‘οΈŽ 59
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/electricianmagician
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 21 2020
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I was arrested earlier for stealing helium balloons.

The cops held me for a while, then let go .

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 10 2020
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I was reading a book on Helium

I couldn't put it down

πŸ‘οΈŽ 50
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 19 2020
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I’ve got a joke about helium.

It’s light humor.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RedShirtCashion
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2020
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My next joke is going to be about helium.

It's a gas!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 27 2020
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What do Michael Jackson and a helium molecule have in common?

They both go β€œhehe”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chrisvskris
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 30 2020
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What did the Helium say when he was invited to the party?

He didn't have a reaction.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DoggishNoob
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2020
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What did the chemist say when they found two new isotopes of helium?

HeHe

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ashwynee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 10 2020
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How many Helium molecules does it take to make a chemist giggle?

Three.

HeHeHe

πŸ‘οΈŽ 55
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dvdcrlsn
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 12 2020
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You know why inhaling helium will make a man sound like a woman?

Because helium is a no-ball gas.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kenhamef
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 13 2020
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People say filling animals with helium is wrong.

Okay, whatever floats your goat!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Parkwad
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 15 2020
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Hydrogen: Helium, how do I become like you?

Helium: Be noble.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zuwiboiii
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 25 2020
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My friend recently told me a joke about Helium

He He He

πŸ‘οΈŽ 41
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 16 2020
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And Helium says "He He He".
πŸ‘οΈŽ 35
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Yugvijay
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 26 2020
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Why was Helium in court?

He broke the law of gravity

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/StrijderMilan
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 25 2020
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My addiction to Helium is out of control, but...

No one is taking my cries for help seriously.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheBigSubpoena
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 22 2019
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Have you heard about how the world is apparently running out of helium?

Lies.

All lies, just fed to us by the big ballon and helium companies to inflate their prices.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jaiken_m
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 09 2020
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Why do balloons filled with helium cost more than balloons sold in packages?

Inflation

πŸ‘οΈŽ 40
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/error404nameistaken
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 19 2019
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Helium jokes make me laugh

HeHeHe

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rohlnik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 30 2020
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What did the scientist say when he found two atoms of helium?

HeHe.

my biology teacher told this one in class today.

i was the only student that found it genuinely funny.

the class was silent, besides me. i was laughing. really hard.

:'(

πŸ‘οΈŽ 132
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/psychedelic-soul
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 27 2019
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The only thing I got for my wife on her birthday was a big helium balloon.

It didn’t go down very well.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 53
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 30 2019
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What's funny about 3 helium atoms?

He He He

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Former_Idealist
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2020
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Why did the man fill his attic up with Helium?

He wanted a light house

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Brewdaddy01
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2019
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What does a scientist say when he finds 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/the_geek_next_door
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 13 2020
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Why do people charge money for helium when it’s supposed to be free of charge?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 80
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pacos-ego
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2018
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Since I became manager of a helium factory, my employee speak very highly of me.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 08 2019
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Helium tried to talk to his friends calcium and aluminium

But they were busy on a CaAl

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Fakipo2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 29 2020
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I've got a friend who works with helium balloons.

They speak very highly of everyone.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nickl444
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 06 2019
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How does a chemist laugh? Helium helium helium oxygen magnesium.

HeHeHe OMg

πŸ‘οΈŽ 108
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PhpXp
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 23 2018
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Scientists have recorded two helium atoms laughing

https://m.imgur.com/a/QBBtoR9

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mrmslesbro
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2019
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I quit my job at the helium factory today.

I will not be spoken to in that tone of voice!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 47
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 12 2021
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Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve noble gases"

He doesn't react.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wellimnotdeadyet
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 03 2021
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I quit my job at the helium gas factory today

I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 49
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lez566
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit my job at the helium factory.

I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 65
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lightly_salted_fetus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientists record the sound of two helium atoms laughing.

HeHe

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I was arrested yesterday for stealing helium balloons,

The police held me for a while then let me go.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I was reading a book about helium

I couldn’t put it down

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Contonion
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
After a long argument with my boss, I quit my job at the helium factory.

I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 633
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Some people say filling balloon animals with helium is wrong.

But whatever floats your goat.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 53
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the scientist say when he popped two helium balloons?

He He.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shipostingcat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I quit my job at the helium factory today.

I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NameViolation666
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2019
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Like filling animals with helium?

Whatever floats your goat.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TomHopeless
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30 2019
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People say filling animals with helium is wrong...

I say "whatever floats your goat."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Guy2things
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report

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