Hearts Puns

And a lifetime ban from the zoo

So I bought a puppy to cheer myself up

I wouldn’t have the heart to do it

I told him “actually that was a stroke”

But in the end, he had a change of heart.

“No more corny jokes, now just corn-orary jokes”

I’m glad he still has his sense of humor through these tough times

The heart is a vital ore-gun.

It’s called “The Art of Seaduction”

I was arrested shortly after for murder

It's all about getting the most buck for your bang.

But the whole damn process is painstaking.

During a game of cherades

Because camping is in tents.

The steaks had never been higher

She's named Cardi O'Vascular.

When my family asked me if I was okay, I didn’t have the heart to tell them no.

Edit. I can’t change the title but I’ve decided to word it differently:

My heart got ripped out earlier today.

A beat drop.

Dad: okay, you're an ambulance

That fabulous doctor was pulling on my heart strings

and now he's banned from our local zoo.

And a life time ban from the Central Park Zoo

which is why she lost her job as a cardiac surgeon.

Nice lady and all, I truly loved her, but a terrible surgeon

“You don’t have to chai”

Doc: Wow, it's very organized ;)

I have such a smart watch

A Cardio Jurassic Surgeon

You Sea Pea Arrrrgh !!

Still can’t believe Gaviscon

Arr me hearty!

The poor man dyed a loan.

It has the heartiest appetite.

"Don't look now, but your wife is sitting right behind us."

Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse

“If you scare me, I’ll never talk to you again.”

... he was on a fairway to heaven.

Now I have to quit my job at the circus and cancel my camping trip.

Husband: "Never mind. I'm feeling better!"

Doctor: “Sir, I’ll say it again, that’s A Fib!”

Sorry, It’s not a good hearted joke.

I might have to deal with him later.

Lovely woman.

Useless surgeon.

A lease in Wonderland

After the feeding she couldn't get the baby to sleep so she charged it with resisting a rest

I Q U

Lettuce

Home is where the heart is.

Still can't believe Gav is gone.

It was like love meant nothing to her.

Too much bacon.

The more you eat...wait, how did it start?

She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.

A scalpel and a bone saw.

I might have to deal with him later.

Its 100% Organic

(I'll Let You Figure this out yourself)

it's ok though, its my least favorite part of the artichoke

Here's what you should do:

Step 1: Buy a sheep

Step 2: name it "Relation"

And now... *drumroll* ... you have a relationsheep

the only thing that remained was a walking sarcass

Well wasnt that an unfortunate mis-stake

But he'd neglected to update his will. She just couldn't bereave her luck!

I guess you could say my heart wasn't in the right place

"Why?"
"Because it is an inside joke."

But 24 hours make my day

And a lifetime ban from the zoo

And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.

And a lifetime ban from the zoo

And a lifetime ban at the San Diego Zoo.

And a lifetime ban from the Zoo

Because camping is in tents.

And a lifetime ban from London Zoo.

Sounds easy but the process is painstaking.

An ambulance.

Son actually calls an ambulance.

Dad dies of disappointment.

And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.

... and a life ban from the local zoo.

and a lifetime ban from the zoo

And a life time ban from the zoo

Dad: Son, call me an ambulance!

Son:* crying *Dad, you’re an ambulance

Dad: I’m so proud of you * dies *

And a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Son: You're an ambulance

Dad: Not bad

And a lifetime ban at the zoo

Dad: call me an ambulance Son: uh..... You're an ambulance Dad.....

And a life time ban from the Zoo.

And a lifetime ban from the NYC zoo..

and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

He also has a lifelong ban from the zoo.

#darkhumor

also a lifetime ban from the zoo.