Just stay in the living room.
WHole country's a firewall
I think we ought to make Delaware.
Came in drunk after a night and didn't wanna wake anyone up, so I made some french pancakes and put them on my feet and I crêped right upstairs.....
Edit: Russia good, I think I wrong, please ignore yes yes
They must've ransomware
Me: Are you still mad that your mother and I named you Life Hack?
It was a real shindig
your grass will cut itself.
using the right Al Gore Rhythm
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-switch/wp/2015/12/08/ibm-ends-campaign-urging-women-to-hack-hair-dryers-after-heated-blowback/?hpid=hp_hp-cards_hp-card-technology%3Ahomepage%2Fcard
I just couldn't, hack it.
Because I didn't have the, chops.
So they, gave me the axe.
Can someone point me to an Anonymous Anonymous group?
He’s looking for The Secret of my 6S
Took a really big dab (weed) and was coughing my brains out, which caused the following conversation between me and my wife:
Wife: "Are you going to make it?"
Me: "Nope.. Cough Hack ..You're gonna... cough ..be a... Hack hack ..widow!"
Wife: "Nooo, you can't die!"
Me: Hack "And I don't even.. cough ..have.. hack ...life insurance!" cough hack cough
Wife: "Wife Insurance?? What is that - If I break can you swap me out for a new one?? Do you mean a pre-nup??"
My body couldn't figure out what the fuck to do. Cough, Laugh, it even got confused and farted. Fucking hilarious.
Just ignore it, it’s spam.
Me [tearing up]: yes, that’s my brother Reese. Cop: are you sure? Me: yes I’m sure, those are Reese’s pieces.
Remember, never tell anyone your soulcial security number
They call it Modem Warfare!
WORKING ON A JOB
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned I just couldn’t concentrate. . Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe. . After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. The job was only so-so anyhow. . Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was exhausting. . I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it. . I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard. . My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t note worthy. . I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patience. . Next was a job in a shoe factory; but it just wasn’t the right fit. . I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income. . I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell. . I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining. . After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian, until I realized there was no future in it. . My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit, because it was always the same old grind.
Such blatant stereo-typing
"I'm just coughing and hacking."
I replied: "I guess you'll have to take steps to correct that."
Because he couldn’t hack it.
Wooden U ?
(This post made me think of it.)
It was a bit boring.
Hack the dad-a-base.
“No idea, they just ransomware.”
He had cat-like refluxes.
Well, everything's running again.
...it was the worst dada breach in its history.
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
Only his closest family was at the funeral but they live streamed it on Zoom. Some degenerate hacked the feed and starting playing the hokey pokey audio and he kept putting his left foot in and out of the coffin. His family was initially horrified at the hack but later was able to laugh a little, out of the sheer ridiculousness of the situation. They learned to live in the moment and remember the good moments of life, and that’s what it’s all about.
clap clap
Re-roofing complete.
*Edit: reworded punchline. I think it might be better said "replacing my shingles" but I cannot for the life of me edit that part...
*ahem* without hacking.
It gets jalepeño business
But I just couldn’t hack it
Me: Are you still mad that me and your mother named you Life Hack?
