Is this title incendiary enough? Seems unless you're borderline insulting your posts get ignored. I'll try to make this coherent, but I've had these thoughts bouncing in my head a while.
So it's been enough time since Game of Thrones ended that anyone outside of /r/freefolk has probably gotten over the ending. I want to be clear that, 1) I thought the ending for GoT was okay... but was severely lacking in a lot of places, but 2) the text version of the story is in an equally precarious positions that cannot possibly be finished in a satisfying way in only 2 books. For this CMV I want to ignore discussions of the show, and focus on the writing/writer of ASOIAF. I will CMV if you can demonstrate a way for the story to wrap up that lives up to the astronomical expectations put on it throughout the writing process. I know, I know, I know... that this is all subjective and you can just like something blah, blah, blah... However, there are ways to write good stories, and at the current point of ASOIAF I cannot think of a way for this story to end that does it justice.
1) GRRM doesn't have enough text left to finish the story. 3000 manuscript pages!!! Sounds like a lot, but it's realistically only ~900K words (950K at the absolute maximum). I'll leave another comment for some of the plot points that are likely to be addressed in TWOW. Even at the breakneck pace of A Storm of Swords, with massive payoffs and huge battles, GRRM needs more books. The beauty of ASOIAF, and most fantasy in general, is exploring the effects that events have on people, and how they grow and develop throughout the story. Just having battles and then no aftermath will leave the same bad taste in people's mouths that the show had with fast-travel and Dothraki dying then not dying. There was no impact to what was happening, and unless GRRM spends a large amount of text delving into these effects they will come across as cheap, but that comes at the expense of pushing the plot forward. Something has got to give, and unless A Dance With Dragons was book 5/10, then the deepness of the story that everyone fell in love with will be wiped out by the laughable requirement of fitting everything into a final 2 books.
2) GRRM completely lost his way when he ran out of SOURCE MATERIAL (i.e. The War of the Roses) after book 3. A Feast f
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I present the Mythos Hack armour set for the Hunter where each Lore entry pertains to a work of literature.
- The helmet's lore is the one that got me scratching my head the longest with regards to what it referred to as I was basically trying to find works in a more classic register (read, old as f*ck). In the end, not completely sure, but I believe this is a reference to Michael Crichton's Jurassic Park ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jurassic_Park_(novel) ). Being the most recent of the lot with a film franchise to boot, most of you (if not all) should know the premisse but, just in case, International Genetic Technologies (InGen for short), lead by their CEO, John Hammond, create Jurassic Park in an island close to Costa Rica where, using damaged DNA recovered fossilized gnats and ticks (preserved in amber) whose gaps are padded with DNA from other reptiles, birds and amphibians, dinossaurs are recreated. Long story short, stuff goes wrong and, eventually, due to a T-Rex roar, Mr. Hamilton falls down a hill and ends up eaten by a pack of Procompsognathus. The park is eventually shut down by military intervention but not before some dinossaurs escape, all of will certainly bring very bad publicity to the company. Going out on a long limb, Hamalco could be seen as a mesh of Hamilton's Corporation as, being the CEO, he is effectively the leader. While Mr. Hamilton is not eaten by the T-Rex, it being the most popular character in the franchise alongside the fact that the CEO dies and the company will most likely go into crisis, can be simbolized by it "eating" its parent Hamalco.
- The chest piece is the one whose lore's literary aspirations called my attention as it refers to the Lusiads (in Portuguese, Os Lusíadas), an epic poem written by Luis de Camões ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Os_Lus%C3%ADadas ). It focused on the discovery of a sea route from Portugal to India by Vasco da Gama. Every kid in Portugal has, at one time, to study this work as it is part of a handful of Portuguese book works that are mandatory study. I hate poetry and, as such, I hated every single Canto of this thing.
- The gauntlet's lore, probably the most recognisable of the lot in the grand scheme of literary things here, obviously refers to John Milton’s Paradise Lost ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradise_Lost ). The description of the armour piece is a great synopsis as, to sum it up the book mainly describes how the princes of Hell, led by Sata
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
Realism is perhaps the single most discussed and debated issue not only on this forum but across the whole of popular fiction in the modern era. Countless posts discuss whether this or that thing is realistic, and just as many debating whether realism is important at all. But I think part of the reason this debate seems to never end is that we have been defining realism too broadly when it is not just one thing. I also think we have been conceiving realism in the wrong terms as to how it applies to our writing. As such I have broken down realism into categories. I will define them and in a separate section below give my thoughts on how they are used and can be used in writing.
*Before that though I have two disclaimers.
*1: My observations and generalizations are about the popular zeitgeist and cultural gravity of a thing not its occurrence by raw numbers. I'm sure any trend I mention has a million counter-examples, I am just working off of what seems to be on the mind this forum and in the broader writing community.
*2: This post is not designed to call out, insult, or harass anyone or anything. I am not claiming to be absolutely correct or that I come from any position of authority. If at any point I do seem too strident, this was not intentional and I apologize preemptively. The sole purpose of this post is to stimulate academic discussion.
I will begin by saying that I think that the main problem with the realism debate is that we cannot agree on terminology. We can't decide what realism even means. To rectify this, I have broken it down into four categories. Of course, any one topic can overlap between them.
Type I Physical/Historical Realism: This is realism as it applies to the laws of nature and historical record. It deals with questions like "Is it possible for dragons to fly?" or "How do people really hack computers?" The kind of thing MythBusters liked to test. It also includes historical questions like "Did Vikings wear helmets?" It extends not only to whether things are possible but also whether they are practical I.E. Giant Robots and Chainmail bikinis. This category seems to be of most concern to anyone with some kind of specialist knowledge.
Type II Psychological Realism: This is realism as it applies to human behavior. People concerned with this kind of realism are concerned with things like characters suffering PTSD after a trauma or with the idea of falling in love at first sight.
**Type III Sociologic
... keep reading on reddit ➡but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
Morale on the military vessel is low and everyone is on edge. Pawd'rig could cut the tension in the air with a knife. If he had a knife that could he decidedly wouldn't as he is afraid of what might come crawling out of it. For the majority of the standard day and at truly random intervals the speakers would blast out the most horrendous screaming, wailing and sobbing. It sounds like a woman watching her entire family from her parents and siblings to her lover and children are simultaneously being butchered in front of her. Talk around the ship has been they are not looped recordings. Each one is individual and different.
The screams have set everyone on edge. Many here have been the cause of such screams. Or had to watch as others caused it. So to hear it decontextualized from actual violence and in their normal lives light years from where any ghosts could be was blood chilling.
Pawd'rig thinks he knows what it is and what it means but he won't tell. He's afraid if he says it then it will come true. He concentrates very hard at not eating his food before him. It's taking him everything to not start blabbering about the demons he saw in the Nether when he was young. The demon had expositioned about how they'd sweep into his universe to bathe in blood in the name of their blood god. He plays with his food to not think about them.
They're the reason he has this awful life. At the time he was playing at being a criminal and someday becoming a famous outlaw however meeting literal demons intent on eating your universe tends to set one straight. He'd joined the military because he knew there was an existential threat out there that must be combated. His general anti-war views are very looked down upon so he keeps them to himself. In all his short career he's never actually shot someone. It’s not that his aim is terrible it's just he didn’t sign up for what the military actually want him to do. He let's people go, misses finding people in searches, he doesn't abuse prisoners, turns a blind eye to contraban. Because that's not what he signed up for.
As he musters up the concentration to bring the spoon to his mouth he, and everyone else in the mess hall, hears the sign of imminent screaming and wailing. That electronic tchk sound. The harbinger of anguish and pain. For their ears. The entire room falls into s
... keep reading on reddit ➡I won't be doing that today!
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
[Removed]
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
Original: https://www.reddit.com/r/PubTips/comments/mtg7qc/qcrit_literary_what_happened_to_bernard_smith_84k/
I revised quite a bit before sending it out, but haven't received much of a response from agents. I feel like there might be a weakness in the query that I'm just not seeing and would love the community's thoughts! Thanks in advance!
One big worry I have is that it's a book about writers, which I know isn't doing me any favors. The manuscript itself uses that as a satirical cudgel, especially with the characters being ghostwriters, but I'm worried the mere presence of characters who are writers will just lead to an eyeroll and the trash can. Any help in that arena would help.
Hi [agent],
I’m seeking representation for my literary fiction manuscript WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO BERNARD SMITH, complete at 85k-words. This story will appeal to fans of the comedic and dramatic tension in FLEISHMAN IS IN TROUBLE, to readers who enjoyed the satirical tweets of GUYINYOURMFA, and anyone who loved the crisis of creativity in WRITERS AND LOVERS. [Sentence about why I think the manuscript is right for them specifically.]
Anders knows he’s destined for greatness, but at the moment he’s stuck ghostwriting vapid books for celebrities. He plans to quit and write the greatest American novel until his employer and mentor, Stan, offers him an irresistible project: ghostwriting the memoir of his childhood baseball hero. It’s impossible to say no.
Just as the baseball project gets going, Anders learns that it isn’t enough to keep the company afloat, but there is a chance to save the business. A blockbuster movie star has absconded deep into Alaska to also write the greatest American novel. He refuses to return to acting until it’s a masterpiece. The only problem? It’s terrible.
Anders begrudgingly travels with Stan to Alaska, only to witness Stan’s long-festering alcoholism erupt the moment they arrive. Stan—who seemed like the hackiest of ghostwriting hacks—admits during a blackout that he’s actually Bernard Smith, a reclusive literary genius of five novels.
Anders juggles the projects as he secretly investigates Stan’s hidden life, including the cascading loss of a daughter, his sobriety, then his marriage. Saving Stan—frustrating as it is—eclipses Anders’s ambition as the two characters reconcile the gap between who they are and who they want to b
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