Its also good for health
👍︎ 41
💬︎
📅︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the word for 'Conducive to or suggestive of good health and physical well-being'?
👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
A recent study shows that watching Bohemian Rhapsody multiple times might not be good for your health.

Because of the unusually high Mercury content.

👍︎ 22
💬︎
📅︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Birthdays are good for your health

Studies have proven that people who have more of them live longer.

👍︎ 191
💬︎
📅︎ Oct 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Cardio is good for your health in the long run

.

👍︎ 179
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Mr. Van Gogh, the good news is that you are in excellent health.

Bad News: You have one ear to live.

👍︎ 13
💬︎
📅︎ Feb 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Why are people that hate Westerners good for your health?

Because they're anti-Occidents.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ May 12 2017
🚨︎ report
Just making sure everyone has good personal health

http://imgur.com/bDnsA3W

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ May 02 2014
🚨︎ report
When an Amazon employee takes maternity leave, are they out for delivery?
👍︎ 332
💬︎
📅︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Need some puns

So a health expo is coming up for my university and I am part of the nephrology stall. We need a good slogan and some cool puns to attract people. All ideas are welcome. Thanks!

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/Ayeshaaa98
📅︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?"

The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me."

The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."

👍︎ 16
💬︎
📅︎ Dec 11 2016
🚨︎ report
Bullying puns

So I'm doing a health project on bullying and I need 3 good puns about bullying to put on posters I wouldn't be asking but I've looked almost everyone and let's face it, you guys are pretty damn good at this stuff so any help would be appreciated.

👍︎ 19
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 12 2013
🚨︎ report
I use this one every time my wife and I go to the movies. I now gift it to you.

This is my favorite stupid joke to use out at the movies. Every movie. Action, drama, comedy, whatever.

Movie ends. Credits roll. People start getting up.
I turn to my wife and say, "Wanna stick around and see if (character) joins The Avengers?"

It works with everything.
After Moana: "Wanna stick around and see if Maui joins the Avengers?"
After Baby Driver: "Wanna stick around and see if Baby joins the Avengers?"

Even works for villians. Why not?
After Deepwater Horizon: "Wanna stick around and see if the oil joins the Avengers?"

I guarantee you eyerolls aplenty. Use it in good health.

👍︎ 7
💬︎
👤︎ u/AdamHR
📅︎ Aug 18 2017
🚨︎ report
Last week, I witnessed a bad, single vehicle car accident...

There was a bloodied man lying on the road. As I got closer, I could see that he had cuts all over his body. I offered to help him out, but he said that he was actually a surgeon, it wasn't as bad as it looked, and he was in good enough health and spirits to do everything on his own.

I replied "Fine, suture self."

👍︎ 10
💬︎
📅︎ Oct 12 2016
🚨︎ report
The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ Feb 22 2016
🚨︎ report
A whole new meaning to health nut.

http://dailydigest.com/news/doctors-say-b-js-are-good-for-womens-health/2390

👍︎ 4
💬︎
📅︎ Nov 09 2015
🚨︎ report
My favorite patient

I work in an urgent care center. A patient signed in for a stuffy nose for 2 days. They asked how long the wait was and I said about 15 mins, the person rolled their eyes and walked out. I let the physician know that they walked out. She said "That's always good for their health" I said "Well they were my favorite kind of patient."

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/simplesn
📅︎ Aug 13 2015
🚨︎ report
The foot massage

Note: even though my great grandmother made this joke I feel it was dad-joke worthy.

While visiting my great grandmother (she's 96 yrs old during this time) recently she asked my dad for a foot massage, my dad happily obliged. She told him that he'd made her so proud in life to have a grandson like him and how wonderful he is while receiving the foot massage. My dad have the best massage he could muster for a good 30 minutes before he was too tired to continue. When my dad had finished massaging her feet he asked "how was that grandma?" Which she replied with "I haven't felt anything in my feet in 10 years" then she burst out laughing to the best that her health would allow. She passed away a few weeks later, she always played jokes on us even to her last days. Thanks for reading.

Rest in peace great grandma

TL:DR grandma needs new legs.

👍︎ 7
💬︎
📅︎ Dec 07 2013
🚨︎ report
My old man was the king.

A while back my parents refurnished their living room. My dad wasn't in the best of health so my mom went and picked everything out.

ME: How ya liking the new setup? My Dad: Your mom did a good job. She got a great deal on the TV but then she got screwed on the couch.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/lazyboy823
📅︎ Dec 05 2013
🚨︎ report
Playing World of Tanks...

Platooning with a clanmate (Flank) and talking on Teamspeak.

>Me: Nice job Flank! You haven't lost any health!

>Flank: I have a good health plan.

...

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/UsaRoxAll
📅︎ May 04 2014
🚨︎ report
I need help writing airplane puns for a message on a dating site.

So the person's profile only talks about airplanes. I wanted to send a message totally jammed packed with airplane puns but I don't have that many. It's probably a fake profile but I still think it would be fun.

Here's what I have so far. Hey Girl. Most of the girls on this website are so 'plane' but you're the exception. I have a 'terminal' illness and hope to meet my copilot before I go. Just kidding. My health is 'A oK47'. I was just 'play'n' around. Just to let you know I have some baggage from some 'turbulence' in a previous relationship but Shirley I can get past it. My previous relationship taught me that two wrongs don't make a right. However, two Wrights made an airplane. I hope a new relationship can 'takeoff' with you though. I would be a great boyfriend. I have financial 'security' and could buy you anything you want with my 'visa'. Have you seen the movie, "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles"? It's really good, except for the train and automobile parts.

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/richrawl
📅︎ Jan 23 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.