So, if Ani is short for Anikan, and Ben is short for Obi-Wan, and Fives is short for CT-27-5555, and Artoo is short for R2D2, and Chewy is short for Chewbacca, what is Luke short for?
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︎ Mar 25 2021
A guy was in a booth giving out free high fives
Another guy comes up to him and asks βdo you have any down lows?β The guy said βsorry Iβm all out, you were too slowβ
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︎ Apr 16 2021
Not to brag, but yesterday i beat the state chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
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︎ Apr 04 2021
What has five toes but isn't your foot?
My foot.
Edit: Thanks a lot guys for the awards and upvotes. ;) :)
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︎ Sep 03 2020
I named my dog Five miles
So i can tell Everyone i walked Five miles today
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︎ Mar 08 2021
Our local Five Guys lost some letters on their sign.
With the F and E out, I guess someone quit.
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︎ Mar 28 2021
A man went to the doctorβs and told him, βI feel like such a failure. All five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up.β
He said, βWow, thatβs the worst case of parking sonβs disease Iβve ever seen.β
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︎ Sep 17 2020
Proud dad moment: My five year old and I were discussing Halloween candy. I told him I like Kit-Kats.
He picked out a Butterfinger from his bag, held it up, and said βKit-Kats are good but these are butter.β
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︎ Nov 09 2020
Iβve waited five days and tried three times to post, Two men walk into a bar
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︎ Feb 25 2021
My friend claims he can eat 5 five kilos of sausages
He's full of bologna
Edit:spelling
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︎ Feb 28 2021
The feeding of the five Townshend.
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︎ Feb 14 2021
It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub. It's a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.
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︎ Jan 29 2021
For the past five years, Iβve said that iβm going to start jogging, but I never have
Itβs starting to become a running joke at this point
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︎ Jan 28 2021
So today my five-year-old daughter made me proud...
She was eating watermelon, and she wanted to know how much it cost. (She's obsessed with prices lately.) I asked her how much she thought it cost, and she said, "I don't know, a melon dollars?"
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︎ Jun 21 2020
A man is being taken to the gallows for his execution. The executioner asked if he had any last requests, and he asked for a high five.
The executioner left him hanging.
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︎ Oct 15 2020
Authorities are searching for a four-foot tall woman who recently escaped from prison in upstate New York. She was serving a five year sentence for fraud after convincing a number of victims that she was a powerful psychic.
Now she's a small medium at large.
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︎ Nov 25 2020
The twelve days of Jokemas, day five
Why was the cookie sad?
His mother was a wafer so long
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︎ Dec 17 2020
There are five cats outside
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︎ Feb 10 2021
"There are five types of people..." *holds up two fingers *
Those who understand roman numerals, and those who don't...
π︎ 5
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︎ Jan 11 2021
A father was reading a story to his five year old son.
His son asked him why the book was so fat. The father replied "It's a long story"
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︎ Jan 16 2021
Don't try to high five an executioner....
They'll leave you hanging.
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︎ Oct 28 2020
What do you call a five year old's to do list?
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︎ Dec 13 2020
Why should you never ask a Klan member for a high five?
Because they always leave you hanging.
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︎ Nov 13 2020
I got picked for this five-day-a-week, year-long sleep study. It pays $15,000 a month.
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︎ Jun 06 2020
A man named six gave his friends three and five some chocolate bars. Three got 7 chocolate bars and five got eight of them. Three was upset he had less than five did, and five was sad that his friend was sad, so he asked six if three could have another chocolate bar.
He gave one to three for five
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︎ Dec 06 2020
My five year old daughter, wearing a Sleeping Beauty dress, casually playing with Legos: "ROAR ROAR ROARRRR!"
Me: "Are you roaring at me or is that a Lego monster?"
Her: "Its me."
Me: "Why are you roaring at me?"
Her: "Because I'm Aurora!"
My five year old daughter, everyone. She came up with that on her own. I've never felt more proud!
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︎ Aug 21 2020
I ate five cans of alphabet soup yesterday
And this morning I had a huge vowel movement.
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︎ Sep 12 2020
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60.
She's 97 now and we don't know where in the world she is!
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︎ Sep 20 2020
The first five florists I called today knew absolutely nothing about laying carpet or tile.
And suddenly Iβm the idiot....
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 03 2020
If two's company & three's a crowd, what are four & five?
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︎ Aug 18 2020
How can two plus two be five?
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︎ Oct 01 2020
My friend is annoyed because his dog keeps trying to pick fights with dogs five times his size.
I told him he shouldnβt have adopted that Cocky Spaniel.
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 02 2020
What has four letters, sometimes has nine, and never has five
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︎ Nov 04 2018
I told my friend his βhundred eggs in five daysβ diet made me deathly ill.
He told me that was an eggsaturation.
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︎ Jul 31 2020
My friend dumped a five hundred pound load of pig intestines on his boss's desk in protest...
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︎ Aug 27 2020
After attempting for five hours to get this fence post to stand upright, I've finally realized
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︎ Jan 17 2019
When is five bucks a lot?
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︎ Jun 20 2020
My five year old son βs dad in training comment when asked βwhatβs your address?β
Dad, Iβm not a girl, I donβt wear dresses!
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︎ Aug 10 2020
A friend offered to sell me their TV for five bucks but said the volume dial was broken.
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︎ Aug 01 2020
It's my b'day today, the big five oh.
As my son have me my 50th birthday card, I said " You know, i would have been happy with one"
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︎ Jul 29 2020
If you ask for a high five while holding up both hands and they hit both...
Slap them and say "Here's your change"
π︎ 6
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︎ Jul 22 2020
Itβs a five minute walk from my house to the pub, but a thirty-five minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.
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︎ Oct 13 2020
Itβs a five minute walk from my house to the pub. Itβs a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering
π︎ 6k
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︎ Oct 07 2019
The first five florists I called today knew absolutely nothing about laying carpet or tile.
And suddenly Iβm the idiot.....
π︎ 13
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︎ Sep 03 2020
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