So, if Ani is short for Anikan, and Ben is short for Obi-Wan, and Fives is short for CT-27-5555, and Artoo is short for R2D2, and Chewy is short for Chewbacca, what is Luke short for?

A Stormtrooper.

πŸ‘︎ 713
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FredDerfman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
🚨︎ report
A guy was in a booth giving out free high fives

Another guy comes up to him and asks β€œdo you have any down lows?” The guy said β€œsorry I’m all out, you were too slow”

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LastLeave8770
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Not to brag, but yesterday i beat the state chess champion in less than five moves.

Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/poshnoshlosh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
🚨︎ report
What has five toes but isn't your foot?

My foot.

Edit: Thanks a lot guys for the awards and upvotes. ;) :)

πŸ‘︎ 20k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/D3V1L420
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I named my dog Five miles

So i can tell Everyone i walked Five miles today

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NiftyNoob1337
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Our local Five Guys lost some letters on their sign.

With the F and E out, I guess someone quit.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirFister13F
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
A man went to the doctor’s and told him, β€œI feel like such a failure. All five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up.”

He said, β€œWow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Proud dad moment: My five year old and I were discussing Halloween candy. I told him I like Kit-Kats.

He picked out a Butterfinger from his bag, held it up, and said β€œKit-Kats are good but these are butter.”

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisoatkins
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve waited five days and tried three times to post, Two men walk into a bar

Third one ducks

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend claims he can eat 5 five kilos of sausages

He's full of bologna

Edit:spelling

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nuudom
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
🚨︎ report
The feeding of the five Townshend.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub. It's a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.

The difference is staggering.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/At_atLaS123
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
For the past five years, I’ve said that i’m going to start jogging, but I never have

It’s starting to become a running joke at this point

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/owarner40
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
So today my five-year-old daughter made me proud...

She was eating watermelon, and she wanted to know how much it cost. (She's obsessed with prices lately.) I asked her how much she thought it cost, and she said, "I don't know, a melon dollars?"

πŸ‘︎ 17k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A man is being taken to the gallows for his execution. The executioner asked if he had any last requests, and he asked for a high five.

The executioner left him hanging.

πŸ‘︎ 342
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πŸ‘€︎ u/themeatspin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Authorities are searching for a four-foot tall woman who recently escaped from prison in upstate New York. She was serving a five year sentence for fraud after convincing a number of victims that she was a powerful psychic.

Now she's a small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eggsaladapologist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
The twelve days of Jokemas, day five

Why was the cookie sad?

His mother was a wafer so long

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
There are five cats outside

It is a kitty party

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ravikiwi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
"There are five types of people..." *holds up two fingers *

Those who understand roman numerals, and those who don't...

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mike_OxonFaier
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
A father was reading a story to his five year old son.

His son asked him why the book was so fat. The father replied "It's a long story"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gp_11
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Don't try to high five an executioner....

They'll leave you hanging.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Demented_Sandwich
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a five year old's to do list?

A playlist.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/heyadoraX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why should you never ask a Klan member for a high five?

Because they always leave you hanging.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jack_Hoffa
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I got picked for this five-day-a-week, year-long sleep study. It pays $15,000 a month.

It’s my dream job.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A man named six gave his friends three and five some chocolate bars. Three got 7 chocolate bars and five got eight of them. Three was upset he had less than five did, and five was sad that his friend was sad, so he asked six if three could have another chocolate bar.

He gave one to three for five

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GayMadMan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My five year old daughter, wearing a Sleeping Beauty dress, casually playing with Legos: "ROAR ROAR ROARRRR!"

Me: "Are you roaring at me or is that a Lego monster?"

Her: "Its me."

Me: "Why are you roaring at me?"

Her: "Because I'm Aurora!"

My five year old daughter, everyone. She came up with that on her own. I've never felt more proud!

πŸ‘︎ 170
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πŸ‘€︎ u/someredditorguy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I ate five cans of alphabet soup yesterday

And this morning I had a huge vowel movement.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60.

She's 97 now and we don't know where in the world she is!

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uhavethebiggay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
The first five florists I called today knew absolutely nothing about laying carpet or tile.

And suddenly I’m the idiot....

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arkham_Asylum27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
If two's company & three's a crowd, what are four & five?

Nine.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xero19
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
How can two plus two be five?

By mistake!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend is annoyed because his dog keeps trying to pick fights with dogs five times his size.

I told him he shouldn’t have adopted that Cocky Spaniel.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OmegaLiquidX
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What has four letters, sometimes has nine, and never has five
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eluceadtenebras
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
🚨︎ report
I told my friend his β€˜hundred eggs in five days’ diet made me deathly ill.

He told me that was an eggsaturation.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Duzervee
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend dumped a five hundred pound load of pig intestines on his boss's desk in protest...

That took a lot of guts!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
After attempting for five hours to get this fence post to stand upright, I've finally realized

This is a shit post

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/5lash3r
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
When is five bucks a lot?

When you're a hunter

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My five year old son ’s dad in training comment when asked β€œwhat’s your address?”

Dad, I’m not a girl, I don’t wear dresses!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lordwaters24
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend offered to sell me their TV for five bucks but said the volume dial was broken.

I couldn't turn it down.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twiglet91
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
It's my b'day today, the big five oh.

As my son have me my 50th birthday card, I said " You know, i would have been happy with one"

πŸ˜πŸ˜†πŸ˜…πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ™ƒ

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
If you ask for a high five while holding up both hands and they hit both...

Slap them and say "Here's your change"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Carpe_Noctum42
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s a five minute walk from my house to the pub, but a thirty-five minute walk from the pub to my house.

The difference is staggering.

πŸ‘︎ 129
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sisrael81
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s a five minute walk from my house to the pub. It’s a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.

The difference is staggering

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JSC_SLP
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
The first five florists I called today knew absolutely nothing about laying carpet or tile.

And suddenly I’m the idiot.....

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arkham_Asylum27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report

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