My uncle is really good at fishing. He always knows exactly what kind of worm to put on his fishing hook, in order to catch the desired kind of fish.

One might say he is a master baiter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/assafstone
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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I love fishing but I can never pull the fish closer once I hook it.

It's a reel problem.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/newkyd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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My strange friend always baits his hooks with okra when fly fishing...

He's really into podcasting!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?

I guess that’s debaitable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeatsackKY
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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When I was out fishing with my dad I put my beer down to change my hook and it fell over and spilled. He looked at me and said.

Brew...tality!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hooklinersinker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2018
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Fishing Hook

A friend of mine got a fishing hook stuck in his leg last night.

My Dad: Is he hooked on fishing now?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/captinluke
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2014
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I used to be a professional fisherman

Then discovered I couldn't live on my net income

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
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What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?

Something catchy!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dustingooding
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
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I once caught a fish with a hundred dollar bill in its mouth.

I know this story may sound a little fishy, some of you may even consider it a whale of a tale, but if you take it in tide I’m sure you’ll sea the porpoise isn’t me just beingkoi or * squidding* around or fishing for attention; it was shrimply an act of cod that I’m hooked on sharing with others. If it reely makes anyone crabby or puts me on thin ice, just let minnow and I’ll gladly clam up. I’d hate to see this sub flounder or take a dive because of my own shellfish ambitions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MC_Minnow
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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Dad just texted me this, caused a mass groan when I read it out to the people I was with

Someone through threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me. Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BetweenTheCheeks
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2014
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if you can think of a better fish pun

let minnow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoNotCool
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2016
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We had an IDEA...

Back a few decades, I was working in a program with a local college in the Middle East.

The name of the program for ExPats has the clever acronym of "IDEA" (hey, I said it was clever); which stands for "Inter-Departmental Educational Adjunct". It's interdepartmental because my particular specialty not only covers field geology but also paleontology and a bit of archeology thrown in for good measure. Everyone hopes to have a good IDEA...

ahem...

Well, we saddle up and head for the Dune Sea out in the west of the country, where the Precambrian, Cambrian, Silurian, Cretaceous, Pliocene, Pleistocene, and Holocene crop out and access is relatively easy and non-injurious.

Well, we caravan out, some 30 Land Cruisers, Nissan patrol, and the odd Mitsubishi Galloper strong. We all get our maps, compasses and split up into 5 or 6 special interest groups ("SIG's"); where each IDEA has his own GPS and LIDAR laser ranging apparatus. Reason being, that there are very few benchmarks out in the desert, and even those are constantly at the mercy of the shifting and ever-blowing sands.

Since we're split into groups and at any one time, ranging up to and including some 50 km2, when a real find is located, a device called the "DIME" (Digital-Interface Monitor Encoder) is attached and programmed into the GPS for location later; it is a digital sort of low-frequency transponder, developed from technology used by offshore drillers and jacket setters where benchmarks are even more transitory.

The way it works is rather simple. When something is to be marked for later retrieval, a series of wooden posts are pounded in a triangular manner around the find and the DIME is set, programmed with the GPS and attached to one or more of the posts.

That's the theory, at least.

Everything works well, especially all the hardened electronics and computer gizmos, but attaching the DIME to the stakes is the real problem. It can't be nailed, screwed or fastened with any sort of metal contrivance as that farkles the magnetic field and causes all sorts of goofy spurious signals. Zip ties don't last long in the heat and duct tape is right out. Many sites have been lost to the shifting sands this way.

Velcro doesn't work too well, as the sand fills the hooks of the receiving piece of velcro and soon renders it useless. String or fishing line work, but that's temporary (they melt). Glue or mastic are out as these are supposed to be temporary. Even plastic sleeves don't work due to the heat out

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
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Unethical Life Pro Tip: Put nicotine in your fishing bait

Once you catch a fish, it'll be hooked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jjrgd97
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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Fishing! What could possibly go wrong?

My old man is quite a character. He once took my sister and I freshwater fishing and taught us how to bait a hook with nightcrawlers. We were perhaps 7 or 8, and somewhat sheltered, so of course what happened next went right over our heads.

Dad: hey, kids! Which of you is better at baiting a hook? Which of you is the β€’removes sunglassesβ€’ master baiter?

My sister and I, of course, immediately begin arguing about it. That wily old man had us going back and forth "I'm the master baiter!", "No, I am!", "No, me!". Dad, meanwhile, was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes.

Tl;dr- my Dad is a fucking smart ass

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kinsar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2013
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Here is what my dad posts to Facebook...

It's either pictures of birds or things like these:

"Did you hear about the hipster who burnt his tongue? He ate pizza way before it was cool!"


"I heard they found that girl Amber who was missing." (There was an Amber alert in MD that day)


"Know what happens when you take "the" out of psychotherapist."


"If life gives you melons, You might be dyslexic."


"Six more weeks of winter isn't so bad when you consider the official first day of spring is seven weeks away."


"At first, I hated the speed bump they put in my front street... But I'm slowly getting over it."


"Why is it impossible for a horse to major in philosophy? You can't put DeCartes before the horse!"


"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank gourmet coffee before it was cool."


"Q. How many Surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. Fish"


"I was going to take all of my old watches and hook them together to make a belt... But then I realized that would be a waist of time."


"Why all the fuss about the Redskins changing their name.

Just change the mascot to a Potato.

Then it's not only un-offensive but delicious."


"I think the NSA is spying on me. They're leavesdropping in my yard."

Bonus picture status

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GargoyleSparkles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2014
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[long pun, bear with it] A father and son are going fishing...

The father is showing his son how to prepare the fishing rod, how to set the line, and how to affix the bait. Father: "Now son, you can use many different kinds of bait. This worm, for example." The father says as he weaves the worm onto the hook and casts the line. Son: "What happens next dad?" As if on cue, the father pulls against the line, calling forth a panicked fish from the water. The son exclaims in amazement, as the father prepares the line for his next cast. He reaches into the tackle box, and beings to attach something to the hook. Son: "Dad, what kind of bait is that?" Father: "This is clickbait son." Son: "What happens next dad?" Father: "What happens next will shock you."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/appa-ate-momo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2017
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Fishing for puns

I was going to write a fishing pun, but couldn't find the right line... I asked a mate for help, but that turned into a debait... I tried casting my mind back to when I last heard a fishing pun, but that didn't reely work... If you're also hooked on puns and can help me out, I'd love to sea what fishing stories you can drag up!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PunnyGifts
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2016
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My dad and I are fisherman and he just dropped this one on me...

He is on his annual week long fishing trip and I wasnt able to go this year so he's been sending me pictures of some of his better fish. He sends me a pic of a nice 4lbs Largemouth Bass with a cheeky smile. So I call and I ask him what he caught it on and without any delay and being completely serious..."a hook"...I sigh and just hang up on him haha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/karowhack
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2014
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My dad, going fishing

My dad was taking us fishing & we stopped off to get bait. So the guy behind the counter said, "That'll be two dollars for the worms, and fourteen cents for the tax."
"That's okay," my dad said, "We don't need tacks. They'll stay on the hooks by themselves."
I think the worm guy is still chuckling.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aethelberga
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2013
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If you know a better fish pun?

Let minnow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rolling_Heavy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2014
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