What did the accountant say to the fisherman?

What's your net worth

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrusaderTbone
πŸ“…︎ May 01
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A fisherman came to me telling me he had just reeled in the biggest fish hes ever seen, and that he was going to give it to me for free.

I asked him, 'whats the catch?'

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpookyMemeBoy5001
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
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Why are fisherman so good at geometry?

Because they're all Anglers.

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FranticFridge
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
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What's a fisherman's favorite instrument?

The C Bass.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Subsum44
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
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What did the Fisherman name his daughter?

Annette

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Meeksta11
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
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What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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Did you hear about the fisherman magician?

He says, β€œPick a cod, any cod!”

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daviscojokes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
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I became a professional fisherman...

But discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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I went out with a fisherman's daughter.

She was a real catch, her name was Annete

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mehrtellica
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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I dreamed of becoming a professional fisherman

But I found out that I couldn't live on my net income

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TehFuriousKid
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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What do you call an English fisherman?

Angler Saxon

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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What do you call a good fisherman

Master-baiter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dhanikshetty
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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the fisherman was playing his out of tune guitar

luckily he caught a Tuna

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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Do fisherman only catch male tunas?

Or do they also catch Ah-she’s?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/siphodeus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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Where does a fisherman get his haircut?

A bobber shop

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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Asked my dad why he wanted to go catch big fish as he isn’t a fisherman.

His response.... just for the halibut.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bswenning
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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I asked my fisherman friend, β€œHow much money do you make for your catch?”

He said, β€œI don’t discuss my .....net worth.”

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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I always wanted to follow my dear Dad as a commercial fisherman..

But his Net income always put me off.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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A magician walks up to a fisherman's booth.

The magician pulls a quarter from the fisherman's ear. The fisherman looks at the magician annoyed. The magician says can you do any better? The fisherman says sure and then pauses. The magician says annoyed "How are you going to start the trick. The fisherman just says... Pick a cod, any cod!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jolly2284
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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What did the fish say when he was caught by the fisherman...

I'm ofishially done with life

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dazar0766gaming
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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Why did the fisherman catch more on his second trip?

Because of his mussel memory

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/__Almazan__
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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I used to be a professional fisherman

Then discovered I couldn't live on my net income

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
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What is common between a boxer, a successful music producer and a good fisherman

The right hook.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
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Why was the depressed fisherman in the orange grove?

He was fishing for a compliment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/neobloodsin
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
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What do fisherman use when they go deaf?

Herring aids!

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
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The fisherman used all funds from fish sales to buy collections of audio recordings issued as a single item on CD...

He sold his sole for rock'n'roll.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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Once long ago, a fisherman heard beautiful singing while he was alone a at sea.

He followed the enchanting voice till he came upon a singing yellowfin tuna. He knew he had found something incredible. He caught the fish, kept it alive and returned home.

He showed his friends and posted videos on tik tok, and the singing fish went viral. It could sing almost anything, but Pavarotti was it's favorite.

The fisherman toured around the world with the fish and set up a website to sell merch. The clothing he made sold like crazy, so he ordered thousands of short sleeve shirts to be made in advance.

Unfortunately, the fish died, and the public lost interest. The fisherman was left with endless opera tuna tees.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/basmith0
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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What did the magician say to the fisherman?

Pick a cod! Any cod!

My coworker dropped this on me

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bearinthegarden14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
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Why did the fisherman cross the road?

Just for the Halibut

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Golden5StarMan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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Most fisherman hold their fish far away from their bodies when they take pictures. This is why they think they're so much bigger than they are.

They're not to scale.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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What do you call an unsuccessful fisherman?

Vegan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toadfinger
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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Fisherman

Are always trying to turn a net profit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmyspr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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What is the difference between an obsessive fisherman and Meghan Trainor?

None, in both cases it's "All about that bass".

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/geekcommunicant
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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What did the fisherman from Boston say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/schaefy_
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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Never trust a fisherman

They're always angling for something

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
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Why did the fisherman only care about his fish and never share to anyone else?

cuz he sell fish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hihihowru
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the fisherman go to the market

Why did the fisherman go to the market?

For the halibut.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tydorstus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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What did the flamenco dancer admire about the fisherman?

The way he’d cast a net.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bvlshewic
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
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What did the fisherman say to his son right before he got in the boat?

GET IN THE FUCKING BOAT!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/technologik14
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
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What do you call a Polish fisherman?

A fishing pole!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
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What's a fisherman's favorite instrument?

Castanets.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bathroom_Pninja
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
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Why did the fisherman plan a trip to Alaska?

For the halibut!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/twowhlr
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peengwen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chennai_buzzer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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