Fils Puns

Otherwise, they might have to work on sundaes.

I love camping because I get to eat out every night

It's a fuckin rock.

It certainly looks like you got it half off!!

I could hear the groan all the way up the street..success!

They wash their hands religiously

A pretty tasteless joke if you ask me.

Doing a crossword yesterday with FIL, MIL & GIL.
FIL says "Hey did you know I completed The Times crossword the other day apart from one clue" (For those of you who don't know The Times crossword is like one of the hardest crosswords)
MIL: "Go on then tell me the clue, I bet I'll work it out"
FIL: "Ok, the clue was "Heavily laden postman"
MIL: "How many letters?"
FIL: "Hundreds and Hundreds I would imagine"

Dead

They must’ve been off their Chick-fil- “A-game”

While driving around Florida looking for go cart racing.

Me: Hey there's a dollar tree FIL: Any money blooming?

At dinner, my father in law was talking about how he has a catch-up 401K and can contribute extra each year. I told him to be careful and that he should maybe diversify with a mustard 401K as well.

I respond "it's because you're eating iceberg lettuce!"

Wife: "No, but I have mass."

He then looks at me and says "marital navigation, Nagigation".

I asked him if he thought they'd be successful or barely get by on a wing and a prayer.

He became quite cross with me.

I was slightly speeding through a speed trap, yesterday. My FIL said, "Careful, you don't want a speeding ticket on Easter Sunday..."

I responded, "I know... Fee has risen."

He told everyone he thinks he might be on his comma. All his daughters look at him in confusion. I'm dying laughing until he drops, "because I don't have a period."

Talking about what the person in the Chik-Fil-A costume is to do if a child takes their glove off.

"Apparently the person in the costume is supposed to act like they don't have a hand and than go to their helper and say 'That child is bullying me!'".

At this point my father started historically laughing, and we asked him why.

"Get it? BULLying? Because its the cow?"

Groans were had.