Still better than an Immature Evacuation
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imperfectshane
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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[PUNNY]LIVE UPDATE ON EVACUATION ZONES FOR **HURRICANE IRMA PSA** youtube.com/watch?v=KqRfk…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/valenteman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2017
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If a pun happens and no one is around to hear it, is it a pun at all?

Question in study guide: The term evacuative proctography is also commonly called ____________.

Me studying alone: um, hmm....eeesh..not sure..idk. Oh wait, defacogram!

Also me, silently: can’t believe I just pulled that answer outta my ass

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πŸ‘€︎ u/seawoo10
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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Had to evacuate the pool because someone dropped a floater.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nipply_Prickles
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
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So if someone decides to ride out the hurricane instead of evacuating

Does that make them a β€œFlo-rida”?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dan_the_Man0904
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2018
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A man tried smuggling sausage and vodka out of Europe and his luggage caught fire and they had to evacuate the plane.

The whole event was pretty terrible.

It's being called the Absolut-wurst-case scenario.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoyoteTheFatal
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2017
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What do you call it when the fire alarm goes off during sex

A premature evacuation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kingpotato28
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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We had an IDEA...

Back a few decades, I was working in a program with a local college in the Middle East.

The name of the program for ExPats has the clever acronym of "IDEA" (hey, I said it was clever); which stands for "Inter-Departmental Educational Adjunct". It's interdepartmental because my particular specialty not only covers field geology but also paleontology and a bit of archeology thrown in for good measure. Everyone hopes to have a good IDEA...

ahem...

Well, we saddle up and head for the Dune Sea out in the west of the country, where the Precambrian, Cambrian, Silurian, Cretaceous, Pliocene, Pleistocene, and Holocene crop out and access is relatively easy and non-injurious.

Well, we caravan out, some 30 Land Cruisers, Nissan patrol, and the odd Mitsubishi Galloper strong. We all get our maps, compasses and split up into 5 or 6 special interest groups ("SIG's"); where each IDEA has his own GPS and LIDAR laser ranging apparatus. Reason being, that there are very few benchmarks out in the desert, and even those are constantly at the mercy of the shifting and ever-blowing sands.

Since we're split into groups and at any one time, ranging up to and including some 50 km2, when a real find is located, a device called the "DIME" (Digital-Interface Monitor Encoder) is attached and programmed into the GPS for location later; it is a digital sort of low-frequency transponder, developed from technology used by offshore drillers and jacket setters where benchmarks are even more transitory.

The way it works is rather simple. When something is to be marked for later retrieval, a series of wooden posts are pounded in a triangular manner around the find and the DIME is set, programmed with the GPS and attached to one or more of the posts.

That's the theory, at least.

Everything works well, especially all the hardened electronics and computer gizmos, but attaching the DIME to the stakes is the real problem. It can't be nailed, screwed or fastened with any sort of metal contrivance as that farkles the magnetic field and causes all sorts of goofy spurious signals. Zip ties don't last long in the heat and duct tape is right out. Many sites have been lost to the shifting sands this way.

Velcro doesn't work too well, as the sand fills the hooks of the receiving piece of velcro and soon renders it useless. String or fishing line work, but that's temporary (they melt). Glue or mastic are out as these are supposed to be temporary. Even plastic sleeves don't work due to the heat out

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
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My third son was born yesterday morning, 3 weeks early.

The nurse, my wife, and my mom discussing how he "came so early"

I interject with "I guess you could say he has a problem with, premature evacuation"

To my surprise they all actually laughed hard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_little_too_late
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2014
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Best joke of my life (kinda)

So at my school, we had a pipe burst.

Joke at the end of you want to skip

Now it's pretty normal in the midwest, where I live, to have this thing. It started with the fire alarm going off, because of the pressure decrease, and the school was evacuated. We were all eventually brought back, for it was cold. We sat in our gym for AN HOUR before being dismissed back to our classes.

So it's near the end of the day and I have gym class. And I'm having your normal conversation with a friend about the school's financial problems. And we were just talking about how the school is going to have to pay so much money for the new pipe and the ceiling tiles and the cleaning etc.

And then it was my moment to shine.

So the conversation is almost over and the friend says,

"It'll be a while before normal funds go back".

And I just say this:

"Yeah man, the school's money is going down the drain".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YourRoyalF0xy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
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I was praying the rosary in Notre Dame when the fire broke out. I shit my pants!

I evacuated instead of remaining in my pew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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Dadjoke'd my college class

So I forgot my school was having a planned fire drill. I was hanging outside my class building, ditching with my girlfriend when everybody suddenly poured out. My teacher came out in front of the entire class and asked me why I was already outside. I don't know what came over me, I guess my brain went into auto-defense-dad-mode because I told him:

What can I say? I'm a premature evacuator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cumulopimpus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2014
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Actual quote by a sheriff at the Oroville Dam news conference:

"This is a fluid situation, obviously..."

context: http://www.kcra.com/article/evacuation-orders-issued-for-low-levels-of-oroville/8735215

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matt111098
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2017
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