Mary Pill Poppins Pharmaceutical just created a miracle drug that can cure any human of any disease. It's effectiveness is renowned while it's side effects are surprisingly minimal: thick layer of skin develops on the lips while rendering them dry, cracked and quite odorous.
Patients effected by this claim it's super callused fragile lips that smell like halitosis
I have a invention! It's a small edible device that would freshen your breath while simultaneously releasing a subtle and soothing A-chord. You would use the device (with the fresh breath and soothing sound) to help increase the effectiveness of apologies.
I call it:
THE A-TONE-MINT!!!!!
I was watching my son play a Zelda game and I told him it's more effective to lose your health during the summer and winter seasons. He looked at me all confused and asked why? I told him it's because...
that way you won't take any fall damage.
What’s the most effective way to write a murder mystery?
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
100% effective method to not go to jail
My vaccine dad joke failed
When you finish all the ranch on your salad, you’ve effectively undressed the salad.
Heard they are calling that Johnson and Johnson vaccine “8 mile”
Because you only get one shot.
I still experience long-lasting psychological effects from having a childhood friend that took offense at everything I did.
My doctor calls it Irritable Pal Syndrome.
Doctors say some effects of COVID-19 may follow patients for life.
You could say it's a choronic disease.
Got a pay rise of $1000 today, effective immediately.
What a grand start to the weekend.
Recent studies are examining the effects of replacing birdbath water with alcohol
Its bird-gin-ing research.
In the history of crime literature, which character has been the most effective at getting people out of prison?
The dot "."
It has ended more sentences than anything else.
When people ask about my heritage, I tell them there is an unfortunate side effect of my mother being Italian and my father being Polish ....
I’ll make you an offer I can’t understand.
Why do movie makers record laser gun sound effects in churches?
Because they go “pew pew pew”.
Keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect on the brain
Due to all the indoor fins.
It took scientists 15 tries to create the perfect sleep aid. Attempts A-N had no effect..
But they concluded a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better
Studies have shown that sheepskin face masks are incredibly effective...
They keep the baahhhhhd germs out.
I have a weird side-effect from Covid; it makes me want to grope an ethnic Belgian dwarf...
...I'm feeling a little Flemish. cough
What is the most effective way to quit being vegan?
We know the effects of second hand smoke are terrible.
Does anyone have peer reviewed studies on the effects of minute hand smoke?
The instructor in my self defence class told me that the most effective place to kick a man is near his knees.
Personally, I think it’s nuts.
What’s the most effective marketing strategy to sell audio books?
Scientists are studying the effect of drugs on various seabirds.
They're leaving no tern unstoned.
Why is sign language more effective than regular speech?
Because actions speak louder than words.
Did you ever hear about the Samurai with only a 6 inch sheathe knife who was still an effective and deadly killer?
He was a one-hilt wonder.
Tho these are more backbreaking. Dynamite or TNT would be more effective
Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?
It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect
There is a new found side effect of coronavirus.
What's more effective than a heat-seeking missile?
*sad cat fishing noises*
I just saw an ad for a dating app before Sam Smiths, I Want Something to Die for, song. Guess that’s the after effect for using dating apps, who knew
My Gf just pointed out that pasteurization has become really effective this year
Our milk lasts the rest of this decade!
A person who studies how nut allergies effect the human body
Are they known as a Nutty Professor?
What do you get when a Mandela effect believer misspells something?
It took scientists 15 tries to create the perfect sleep aid. Attempts A-N had no effect..
But a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain because...
Scientist studying the effect of cannabis on seabirds, have left no tern unstoned.
Keeping tropical fish at at home can have a calming effect on the brain.
Due to all the indoor fins.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
Keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect on the brain
Due to all the indoor fins.
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