Mary Pill Poppins Pharmaceutical just created a miracle drug that can cure any human of any disease. It's effectiveness is renowned while it's side effects are surprisingly minimal: thick layer of skin develops on the lips while rendering them dry, cracked and quite odorous.

Patients effected by this claim it's super callused fragile lips that smell like halitosis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ramzert
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
The effectiveness of suppressors is simply baffling. imgur.com/mVpbrEC
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrHorseHead
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a invention! It's a small edible device that would freshen your breath while simultaneously releasing a subtle and soothing A-chord. You would use the device (with the fresh breath and soothing sound) to help increase the effectiveness of apologies.

I call it:

THE A-TONE-MINT!!!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gbeeson
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2016
🚨︎ report
Simple but effective pun
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peptobizmul
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I was watching my son play a Zelda game and I told him it's more effective to lose your health during the summer and winter seasons. He looked at me all confused and asked why? I told him it's because...

that way you won't take any fall damage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the most effective way to write a murder mystery?

Bullet points

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.

My wife: Who did?

Me: Yep.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Effects of Corona
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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
100% effective method to not go to jail
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigPapaPump6969
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My vaccine dad joke failed

But it was worth a shot

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/balogny
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
When you finish all the ranch on your salad, you’ve effectively undressed the salad.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrsnufflewuffle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Heard they are calling that Johnson and Johnson vaccine β€œ8 mile”

Because you only get one shot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/El_cptan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I still experience long-lasting psychological effects from having a childhood friend that took offense at everything I did.

My doctor calls it Irritable Pal Syndrome.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YourLocalCreep
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Doctors say some effects of COVID-19 may follow patients for life.

You could say it's a choronic disease.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kngfbng
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Got a pay rise of $1000 today, effective immediately.

What a grand start to the weekend.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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Recent studies are examining the effects of replacing birdbath water with alcohol

Its bird-gin-ing research.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kelaab
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
In the history of crime literature, which character has been the most effective at getting people out of prison?

The dot "."

It has ended more sentences than anything else.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ultimadark
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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When people ask about my heritage, I tell them there is an unfortunate side effect of my mother being Italian and my father being Polish ....

I’ll make you an offer I can’t understand.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthLukas71
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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Why do movie makers record laser gun sound effects in churches?

Because they go β€œpew pew pew”.

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PleaseBeSerious
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect on the brain

Due to all the indoor fins.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Messicanhero
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
It took scientists 15 tries to create the perfect sleep aid. Attempts A-N had no effect..

But they concluded a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dothemagic
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Studies have shown that sheepskin face masks are incredibly effective...

They keep the baahhhhhd germs out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jessmacdee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Nice perfumeance!
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BitchyOlive
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a weird side-effect from Covid; it makes me want to grope an ethnic Belgian dwarf...

...I'm feeling a little Flemish.Β Β  cough

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Ambushed
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the most effective way to quit being vegan?

Cold turkey

πŸ‘︎ 240
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WJ_Stedback
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
🚨︎ report
We know the effects of second hand smoke are terrible.

Does anyone have peer reviewed studies on the effects of minute hand smoke?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Millenial
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
The instructor in my self defence class told me that the most effective place to kick a man is near his knees.

Personally, I think it’s nuts.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
β€ͺWhat’s the most effective marketing strategy to sell audio books?‬

Word of mouth‬

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientists are studying the effect of drugs on various seabirds.

They're leaving no tern unstoned.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is sign language more effective than regular speech?

Because actions speak louder than words.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GassyGhoul88
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Going Viral
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maisy1st
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you ever hear about the Samurai with only a 6 inch sheathe knife who was still an effective and deadly killer?

He was a one-hilt wonder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Tho these are more backbreaking. Dynamite or TNT would be more effective
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1_hele_euro
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?

It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Caddiss_jc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
There is a new found side effect of coronavirus.

It's lyme disease.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What's more effective than a heat-seeking missile?

A heat-seeking hittle

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChaoticFather
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
🚨︎ report
*sad cat fishing noises*

I just saw an ad for a dating app before Sam Smiths, I Want Something to Die for, song. Guess that’s the after effect for using dating apps, who knew

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My Gf just pointed out that pasteurization has become really effective this year

Our milk lasts the rest of this decade!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DwarfWoot
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A person who studies how nut allergies effect the human body

Are they known as a Nutty Professor?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deadly_R
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when a Mandela effect believer misspells something?

r/dayjawfood

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nogonreddit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
It took scientists 15 tries to create the perfect sleep aid. Attempts A-N had no effect..

But a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dothemagic
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain because...

...of the indoor fins...

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientist studying the effect of cannabis on seabirds, have left no tern unstoned.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokesig
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Keeping tropical fish at at home can have a calming effect on the brain.

Due to all the indoor fins.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TellmSteveDave
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain

because of the indoor fins.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect on the brain

Due to all the indoor fins.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashtehstampede
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report

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