Ed Puns

Sheeran away

So Patel tried to go to the lowest level and put a dot on the paper.

"What this, Ed?"

"A line?" the boy replied.

"I... I expected more from you. I'm... This a point, Ed."

It was a crash course.

Isn't that hard

She was a night mare 🐴

We’re neighbors now.

You use a blow-up doll

It was very illuminating.

Now he’s brained Ed

Co-teacher: "Students name" came in and said he lost his throat.

Me: Oh no! Did he check where he last remembered having it?

Co-teacher: He couldn't say.

He was honestly just Ed G.

It's not a question, that's just the process.

Sheeran away

I finally put a lock on the door to keep him from barging in.

Nothing, it stands for nothing.

Ed had been running for a while and wouldn't have the endrurance to run for much longer. The officer realised this and yelled: Stop! You have to get arrested!"

It's a small town so they know Police Officer Ed well enough to know that he can be pretty curt and rude. As they pass him, they exchange pleasantries. The husband tips his hat and Officer Ed does the same. The wife says, "Hello Officer Ed, it's a beautiful day isn't it?" Officer Ed looks at the sky, grunts, and says, "It looks like rain." The wife looks at the sky and says, "But there isn't a cloud in the sky." Officer Ed doubles down, "It's definitely going to rain."

The husband doesn't want to start any problems so he bids the officer good day, takes his wife's arm and leads her along. Once they were out of earshot, the husband said to his wife, "Listen, Rude Officer Ed knows rain, dear."

Macaroni and Cheeks.

I promptly burst out singing: "Cause guilty feet have got no rhythm!"

I got a full-on facepalm out of her. It was excellent.

He made two successful left turns but missed the third Reich

Both claim to be Stable Geniuses

'Sheeran' is Caring

It was perfect.

Man 1: "I'm sorry I took you for Grant, Ed."

He asked the security guy, "Did you see a girl walk out with my favorite hat?" He responded, "No Ed, shee-ran."

Because every time he asked a girl out she ran.

Because Sheeran away

Sheeran away.

Because Sheeran.

Cause Sheeran away.