All of the scissors have started disappearing at work

Starting to think that someone might have performed an exscissorcism.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Espressopronto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call disappearing poop?

Gonorrhea

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jetmover78
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
How do alcoholic beverages send disappearing pictures?

Schnappchat!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
There was a Mexican magician that said he was gonna do a disappearing act. He said uno, dos,

And he disappeared without a tres.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ghostking5505
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you make the number one disappear?

You add "g" and it's GONE

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ssr0203
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
🚨︎ report
A Spanish magician told everyone he would disappear.

He said, β€œUno, dos...” Then disappeared without a tres.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Caleb-the-God
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you make the number two disappear?

You flush it πŸ₯΄

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Scogetos
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
🚨︎ report
My favorite grocery store cashier suddenly disappeared. When I asked what happened, they said-

"He just checked out."

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
The guys fixing the potholes on our road have completely disappeared.

I have no idea when they’re going to resurface.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PeteAllan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the computer virus disappear?

Because it ransomware.

πŸ‘︎ 96
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FilipIzSwordsman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
A Mexican magician tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of 3.

He says, β€œuno, dos..” and then POOF he disappeared without a tres…

πŸ‘︎ 677
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ParadoxXSchock
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
If I disappeared into the fog tomorrow,

would I be mist?

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
How did the dinosaur disappear?

He used a Traptor

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wushock4
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Magician: Hello, I can make everything disappear

Tom: Make my tea disappear Magician: Okay I will Om: Youβ€˜re not a good magician, my teaβ€˜s still here.

πŸ‘︎ 129
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeje17j
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Chad asks his friend, "What would happen if all the women in the world disappeared?"

His friend replied, "That would be a pain in the ass."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
All London policemen have disappeared!

Investigators are out of Leeds.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rintaro82
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
For a while Houdini used a trap door for every show he did.

But it was just a stage he was going through.

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EgonVector
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
🚨︎ report
A magician stood in front of a crowd and claimed that he could disappear. He counted, β€œUno..dos..” and was suddenly gone.

He disappeared without a tres.

πŸ‘︎ 301
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LeopardusMaximus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
🚨︎ report
For my next trick I will disappear,

Fuck you pear you taste like shit.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Titan407
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.

He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Magician: I can make anything disappear

Tom: *holding mug*
Do it to my tea

Magician: *waves hand*
Done

om: *holding cup*
It didn’t work...

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Disappear
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AnArousedCatfish
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report
My neighbor Jamal disappeared and they had no recent photos so they used a photo of his brother Juan.

Fortunately they are identical twins, so if you've seen Juan you've seen Jamal.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/petrifiedgumball
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
When you are thinking of an amazing idea and it suddenly disappears, it should be called an epoofany
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/onetwokafour124
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A pilot told a joke and he and his plane disappeared.

It didn't land.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brannigans_Law__
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Stare at this picture and watch me make this knot disappear.
πŸ‘︎ 758
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JT078
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2018
🚨︎ report
What happens when your mother disappears without a trace?

Mama MIA

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JustPlayn10
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Mexican Magician?

He was performing his act and got the the final trick. On the count of three he would vanish. The audience yelled β€œone”, and the magician smiled, β€œtwo”, and he disappeared without a tres.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrcookie623
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you make the number 'one' disappear?

You add a G and it's gone

πŸ‘︎ 91
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WithOurHandsTied
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you make the number one disappear?

You add "g" and it's GONE.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
🚨︎ report
A Spanish magician told everyone he would disappear

He said, β€œUno, dos...” Then disappeared without a tres.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cognitivetriad
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you make the number one disappear

You add a g and it's GONE

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joeytherealking
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you make the number one disappear?

You just add G and it’s gone .

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
A Mexican magician told his audience he would disappear on the count of three. He says β€œUno...Dos...” *POOF*

...he disappeared without a Très

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you make one disappear?

Add a G and it’s gone

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/90eight
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A Spanish-speaking magician announced that would disappear on the count of three. "Uno...dos...." POOF!

He disappeared without a tres.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A Spanish-speaking magician announced that he would disappear on the count of three. "Uno...dos..." POOF!!

He disappeared without a tres.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A Mexican magician said he will disappear on the count of three

Uno.... Dos..... Poof

He disappeared without a tres

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/growupyall
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you make the number one disappear?

You just add a G, and it’s gone.

πŸ‘︎ 92
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/harlienx900
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
If I disappeared into the fog tomorrow

Would I be mist?

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Albamc35
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three.

Uno, dos... poof. He disappeared without a tres.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YeetusAFeetus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
🚨︎ report
There was a Mexican magician who said "I will disappear on the count of 3"! The crowd was silent. He began to count. "Uno... Dos...

and the magician disappeared, with out a trace.

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NYRion7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A Mexican magician said that he could disappear on the count of three. He started "unos, dos.."

But then he disappeared without a tres...

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A Mexican magician tells the audience

A Mexican magician tells the audience that he will disappear at the count of 3.

He says "uno, dos..." poof ... He disappeared without a tres!

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ProductEnthu
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
🚨︎ report
For my next trick,I will disappear.

"Fuck you,pear. You taste like shit."

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mudpucket1969
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
🚨︎ report
What can you add to one to make it disappear?

G

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Octopus-Pawn
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report

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