"Deeper" than you think
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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If the price of oil futures goes any deeper, it will hit oil.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaredLiwet
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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If this pandemic goes any deeper...

We're gonna have to call it a potdemic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SandJA1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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It has a deeper meaning
πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedLeader11037
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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Believe me, it goes even deeper...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eoussama
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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NASA wants to probe deeper into Uranus further than ever before.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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I've been sick lately and my voice went deeper

it's really no treble at all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/R3P1N5
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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Did you know the Lion King has a much deeper meaning than most people realize?

It's totally full of Simba-lism.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wuapinmon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2017
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The Lion King is a deeper movie than you'd expect...

... watch closely, there's so much simbalism.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ii_akinae_ii
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2014
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I wonder

How much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikethelabguy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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My friend asked if I knew about growing root vegetables.

I told him I just know of a neighbor who grows them. I haven’t dug deeper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keychainoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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The shovel was a groundbreaking invention

But everyone was blown away by the leaf blower.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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[Meta] The real purpose of dad jokes

Back in the before times, when sit-down restaurants existed, I used to order boneless cheese sticks and would just throw the word "boneless" in front of any appetizer with 100% corniness. The purpose of this isn't to make a good joke. It's not a good joke. The purpose is to make my dining companions catch some cringe splash damage and want to crawl into a hole and die out of embarrassment for my being horribly corny.

But there is a real, deeper purpose that I've discovered entirely by accident. People, especially young people, are so self-conscious and worried about saying or doing something embarrassing that it taints a lot of social gatherings. They go to a restaurant and are afraid to speak up even when their order is blatantly wrong. They'll tip well even when the food took an hour to arrive and the server has disappeared into the corn stalks behind a baseball field. It takes 2 hours of hanging out together before some friends finally stop nitpicking themselves, uncomfortable in their own bodies and brains, feeling perpetually judged, and begin to relax. These are the kinds of people who go to sleep every night replaying cringey moments from high school. Their last thought of the day is when the Burger King girl said, "Enjoy your meal!" and they said, "Thanks, you too."

It takes 2 hours and/or a lot of booze before they're comfortable enough to take conversational risks and truly reveal themselves. But if I come right out of the gate with a really dumb joke, then we can cut to the chase. There's less danger because someone in the group already shot themselves in the foot, right off the bat. They pulled a pin on the cringe grenade and then jumped on it.

You cringe at my dumb joke and then we're over the hump. Someone has already done something pretty stupid, so go ahead and order the hubcap of nachos and a massive chocolate shake because nobody is going to judge you poorly while they're all judging me.

In terms of price negotiations (haggling), there is a psychological concept called "anchoring". You throw out the first number and all subsequent numbers are compared to that number. This is the same idea. We've already set the humor standard pretty low at "boneless cheese sticks", so you can say the dumbest shit you want and, as long as it's not worse than my cheesy joke, it won't matter.

This is why, when you were a teenager and your dad took you and some friends out, your dad made corny jokes. He knew they were corny jokes. You and your friends un

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Permatato
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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My wife said DO NOT tell this joke to anyone else

Holmes and Watson are about to go out on an investigation. Before leaving, Watson says he needs to use the restroom. He goes in and 5 minutes pass, 10 minutes pass, 15 minutes pass. Finally Holmes goes to the door and asks if he's feeling constipated. Watson replies, "Yeah, no shit Sherlock!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshWithaQ
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2017
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People tend to be buried underground because...

They feel like it has a deeper meaning.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Low_Connection_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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My mate, Skippy, is a bit of a nerd. Just last night he spent 2 hours telling me about all the characters named Kang.

For instance, Kang the Conqueror is a fictional supervillain appearing in American comic books published by Marvel Comics. In 2009, Kang was ranked as IGN's 65th Greatest Comic Book Villain of All Time

or

In the Simpsons , Kang is a Rigellian from Rigel 7. He and his sister Kodos continuously try to take over Earth and are usually seen attacking Springfield. Kang and Kodos have a lot of space weaponry at hand and have their own spaceship. They speak the Rigellian language, which, by coincidence, is identical to English. Although they look identical, Kang has a deeper voice than Kodos.

I guess you could say Skippy is a Kang Guru...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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There's an onion, and he's studying law at a prestigious college. He's in his third year, and after a particularly tough day, he gets an invite from one of his onion-friends to a party they're having that evening.

Being tired and weary, the lawyer-onion isn't sure whether to go, but decides he needs cheering up.

So he dresses smartly, puts on his favorite aftershave and heads over to his friend's.

He gets to the party to find it quite a packed affair and heads over to the bar - fighting through crowds of reveller-onions - to get a drink.

As he gets to the bar, he notices in one corner a slightly out-of-place female onion.

She looks a bit sad and being the compassionate onion that he is, he heads over to talk to her.

This is quickly affirmed as a good move, as they hit it off immediately; she was abandoned by her friends shortly after arriving and had been minding her own business ever since, but over a night of drinks and talking, they quickly fall into an infatuation and soon end up spending an oniony night of passion together.

When they awake in the morning, they don't find it awkward and a steady relationship between the two is struck.

This lasts a good while, having its ups and downs like any college relationship, but eventually the day comes when they both graduate.

The two couldn't be happier!

They both get jobs close to one another and move into an apartment together.

One day, the partner-onion is anxiously awaiting the lawyer-onion at home.

She's been ill all day and checking has confirmed her suspicions.

She tearfully - and joyfully - breaks the news to the lawyer-onion; they're going to have a tiny baby-onion together.

A shallot, if you will.

A few days later, this prompts the lawyer-onion to propose to his heretofore girlfriend-onion.

They are soon wed, having a fantastic wedding-day and husband and wife-onions are on top of the world.

The day comes of the birth and no complications - a tiny, healthy baby onion is born to two proud parents.

Seeing this little bundle of oniony love in their arms causes them to fall deeper in love than ever.

Over the next few years, husband-and-wife-onions' lives are fantastic.

He's prospering at work, she's really enjoying taking some time to raise the baby-onion and over time the baby-onion grows into a hale and hearty toddler-onion, who then becomes a child-onion.

One day, the idyll of the onions' lives is shattered when tragedy strikes.

The lawyer-onion (now a partner-onion in a prestigious law firm due to chance and hard work) is at work, and mother-onion is washing dishes and watching her child play in the yard.

She glances away to take another plate and turns her vision back to

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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Having problems sleeping

Cut the legs off your bed. You’ll sleep deeper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaughingHyena12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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A guy came by my workshop today to pick up a replica of his butt that I molded out of silicone

He literally had his ass handed to him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DandeLion-King
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2014
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What do you get when you divide thirty-two by two?

Another day older and a-deeper in debt.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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Pink Freud: The Dark side of the Mind
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zim_Roxo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2012
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While visiting family for Thanksgiving, my wife and I saw a nice bicycle laying, unlocked, beside a tree across the street.

Wife: Huh, looks like someone left their bike there.
Someauthor: No, no. It's lying down because it's two-tired.
Wife: uughhhh
Someauthor's Dad: Nice! That was a really good one, well done.
Wife: uugghhhhhhh (with deeper agony)
Someauthor: I think I leveled up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/someauthor
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2018
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I died after this incident.

So we are all standing around eating dessert and my girlfriend is explaining to my dad how she burnt the cookies. I attempt to quell her stresses by telling her "don't worry, me and my dad are crisponians and have a deeper taste for crisp". My father responds with "I may be a crisponian but this might be crisponite". Everyone in the room was laughing except for my 13 year old sister, it was priceless.

This is the same guy that, on a road trip (shortly after the wendy's "finger in chili incident"), was trying to persuade us to visit the establishment whilst passing by. When i said i didn't want to he said "What's the matter don't you like finger food?". He followed up with "Wendy's: We put a little bit of ourselves into everything we make.". And finally simultaneously made every passenger pee their pants when he raised a clenched fist and said "WENDY"S! WERE #1!!".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kronox
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2013
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My dad while watching Spongebob with my son.

Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if it didn't have all those sponges in it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crash4
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2013
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Dad joke at the dinner table.

Over dinner with the family my mom delivered the news that my 30 year old cousin, who has been a burn-out his whole life, got himself a job at a mine on Nevada.

Dad: "looks like that boy is just digging himself deeper in the hole."

Had to high five him for that one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cacaface_88
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2014
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My Dad, Dad Jokes /dadjokes

So we're both fathers, and I'm explaining to him, as he's new to reddit, that there is a sub-reddit called /dadjokes. So it begins..

Dad: Do you know why the concept of 'dad jokes' even exists?

Me: Sure, we have to clean up our acts.

Dad: Yea, but it's deeper than that. All comedy is an attack. Either an attack on a person, or an attack on a situation. As Dad's we have to attack the situation for children instead of persons; unless the person is THE SITUATION.

Me: Nicely done.

Dad: Sorry New Jersey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arikos
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2014
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Deep sea fish

my brother talking about a documentary he watched on deep sea fish..

brother: the deeper you go the crazier it gets some fish look like they have light bulbs attached to there head

dad: it must get very dark when the bulb runs out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spacer22
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2014
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Why did the blind man fall down the well?

He couldn't see that well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hannerman
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2017
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