Law enforcement officials recently reported the hijacking of a truck carrying Viagra. Authorities are looking for the culprits.

They suspect the hijackers are a gang of hardened criminals.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/luckprecludes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2021
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The culprit is a major D.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
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Yeah, we know of how 7 ate 9. But we still haven’t found the culprit that 8 o’clock.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OneAndZer0s
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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We just played a new beta version of Clue, and it came down to 2 people being the culprit, the lady who makes climbing devices or the transgender who is a 3D printer...

Was it the latter or the former?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
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How did the police know the beaver was the culprit?

The evidence was DAMning

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WingedDing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
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A Mexican magician said he will disappear on the count of 3

He says β€œUno, Dos….” Poof
He disappeared without a tres

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ok-Ingenuity4838
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2022
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Why did the coffee go to the police

Because it got mugged.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Queenie_bell
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2022
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Did you hear? Someone planted a time bomb in a police station and stole the wheels off the cruisers.

The police are working tirelessly around the clock to catch the culprits.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pistpuncher3000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2021
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Back in the 90s,there was a man stealing tyres from police cars belonging to my precinct.

We had to work tirelessly to find the culprit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2021
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A man has three dogs

A man has three dogs. The 1st is named Max. The 2nd, named Brutus, and the third named Clarice. One day, the owner comes home to find his childhood stuffed animal in pieces on the floor, cotton strewn about everywhere. In an effort to find out who the culprit is he lines up his three dogs. Looking at them he asks the 1st, β€œMax, did you do this?” Max wagged his tail and didn’t move from his spot. The owner looks over to the third, Clarice, who has taken it upon herself to lay down for some naps. As he looks into the middle of the two, he can see a tuft of cotton escaping from his snout and exclaims: β€œPet two, Brutus?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doc_Hobb
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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The worlds shortest man and worlds tallest man have just robbed a bank.

The police are searching high and low for the culprits.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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Someone stole all the toilets from the local police station!

They’re looking for the culprits, but they have nothing to go on.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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Got the girlfriend after packing away the groceries.

GF: Don't you want to go check why the pantry door isn't closing.

Me: Wander over to the pantry, look inside, and spot the culprit immediately.

GF: So what was the problem?

Me: Slowly take the tin of jam out, and while grinning like an idiot, I look at her and say: Looks like the door had been jammed.

GF: Sighs and rolls her eyes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Legithmus
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2015
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Someone stole the soap from the bathroom again

The culprit made a clean get away

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BadPuppyZA
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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The local brewery are trying to figure out who's been swimming in the vats of fermented apple juice

They're fairly certain the culprit is an incider.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2016
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A police officer was investigating the theft of an attachΓ©.

The culprit was quickly found so you could say it was a very brief case.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slap_the_teacakes
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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A number of memorial plates have been vandalised recently...

The culprit, a crazed 34 year old Dentist name Michael. When asked why he did it said: "I just really hate plaque."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/colour_of_cows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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A man and his fence.

One day a man looks out his window and finds one of his fence posts dug up and put in the ground somewhere else.

For the next couple of days this continues on but with a new fence post.

Yesterday was the last straw, so the men sat on his balcony all night to see who the culprit was.

Sure enough at 2am a couple of teenagers show up and get ready to dig up another fence post.

Man: "you goddamn teenagers! Stop digging up old posts and reposting them!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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I saw a nun get thrown from a balcony.

I heard the culprit was another nun.

It must have been a nunja practicing with nun-chucks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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my proudest moment

Last week, I took my friends to my parents house at the beach for a couple days for fun vacation times. One of my friends bought a box of cheerwine krispy kreme doughnuts, but one of the tasty morsels mysteriously disappeared in the night. The day after, we discussed the culprit options. One person said "maybe it was your dad," another said "maybe it was your mom," and I said "or maybe it was one of us.." A couple seconds of silence passed, then I had the biggest pun eureka moment in which I excitedly chortled, "Man, this is a real WHODOUGHNUT!!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gooseyp
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2011
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The Ontario Cannabis Store reported a data breach affecting 4,500 customers

They say the police are trying to weed out the culprit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Banksy0726
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
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Train derails after rail lines stolen...

The culprits left no tracks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Valitri
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2017
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My doctor is the master of dad jokes

I wasn't feeling well and I suspected some intestinal blockage to be the culprit. Naturally, I made an appointment with my doctor. I'm in the treatment room waiting when he comes in.

Doc: Not feeling well huh? What do you think it is?

Me: I'm not sure but I've had weird bowel movements I think it's blockage

Doc: I don't believe you

Me: wut

Doc: you're lying to me

Me: no seriously doc I'm blocked up here

Doc: I know, you're full of shit

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2016
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Did you hear? Some one hid a bomb in a police station and stole the wheels off the cruisers.

Police have been working tirelessly around the clock to catch the culprits.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pistpuncher3000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2021
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