He wanted to curry favor with the guards.
I suppose I’ll just have to wait and see
A pedentist
Fiat Earther: you read my name wrong didn’t you?
Said the man wearing orthopedic shoes.
(Boyfriend said this yesterday and I was so proud)
But now I stand corrected.
Restaurant in peace..
Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen.
You know, Salsa Distancing.
¿WOHM ¿WOHM
Hebrews
Arson.
Just kidding, made you smile :)
but Anne Hathaway
But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.
She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Window or aisle?” I laughed in her face and replied, “Window or you’ll what?”
Daughter : Whats Nana's middle name?
Me: the same as mommies, I think
Daughter: her middle name is just i think?
I'm so proud. Sorry if I don't know how to format, I tried.
Me: Correction, I keep putting the remote in "remote" places. That's where it belongs right?
I got a eye roll and a sigh, score.
I replied "correct".
After about half an hour the doctor says..."You won't believe this, but i just pulled $1999 out of your bottom"
The man turns around and says "Yeah, I wasn't feeling 2 grand"
So I have an uncle, once removed.
But recently I’ve been bringing in model airplanes so I can make the hourglasses passengers and watch time fly.
Sometimes they take this schist for granite.
Dads a good joke!
Because they drank the T
Like, it’s basic meth
It was a captive audience
Dad: You'd think it would be the arrrrm, but he's rather fond of the booty!
It's kinda hard.
I responded that nudists are defined by their lack of jeans
Edit: there->their
Edit 2: Awards? Wow! I'd like to thank the Academy, the community, my wife, and the man who made this post possible, my father in law!
...but I stand corrected
This was a problem on my step sons homework. No matter what, he couldn't seem to grasp it. So, I grabbed some post-it notes, turned it to a diamond and said "this is a diamond correct?" he says yes. I then turn the post-it notes a few degrees and say "this is a square correct?" And he instantly got what he had to do. I then threw out this, grade "A" knee slapper of a line "Diamonds are just crooked squares, you can't trust'em".
I think I'm gonna put on my jorts and tube socks now.
How the heck did it take me 13 years (watched it in 2008) for me to get that (probably a double) car pun. “Radiator springs”, cuz Car radiators. Correct me if I’m wrong.
Many of his workers had to Elf Isolate.
It said "Parking Fine"
(sorry bad English)
Said the man in the orthopaedic shoes.
Restaurant in peace
