Do you guys know the correct term for short people
β¦ or do you also struggle with gnomenclature??
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︎ May 29 2021
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
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︎ Jun 07 2021
Me: the earth isnβt flat. Fiat Earther: correct. Me: huh? Fiat Earther: itβs the shape an italian car. Me: what?
Fiat Earther: you read my name wrong didnβt you?
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︎ Apr 10 2021
No Auto-Correct?
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︎ Jan 01 2021
The man who invented auto correct has passed away...
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︎ Apr 09 2021
Correct me if Iβm wrong, but due to the ongoing pandemic, would it be smart to stay at least 6ft away from the chips and dip when visiting a Mexican restaurant?
You know, Salsa Distancing.
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︎ Feb 24 2021
What does a grammatically-correct, upside-down owl inquire?
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︎ Feb 01 2021
You do realize that it's biblically correct for a man to make the coffee. Haven't you ever read the book,
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︎ Dec 30 2020
A correct sign
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︎ Aug 06 2019
I started a job watching hourglasses just to check if the correct amount of time was passing for them.
But recently Iβve been bringing in model airplanes so I can make the hourglasses passengers and watch time fly.
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︎ Sep 05 2020
Cooking up some drugs is easy if u know the steps and calculate the correct dosages
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︎ Sep 12 2020
Dad: Son, what be a pirate's favorite restaurant? Son: Arrrrby's! Dad: Correct! And what be a pirate's favorite animal? Son: Arrrrmadillo! Dad: Right again! But what be a pirate's favorite body part? Son: Easy. The arrrrrm!
Dad: You'd think it would be the arrrrm, but he's rather fond of the booty!
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︎ Jan 23 2020
When my father said he had a 'Dad bod', I wanted to correct him so I said "No, to me it's more like a FATHER FIGURE."
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︎ Dec 28 2017
It might not be politically correct to say this....
...but Benjamin Franklin was a great American President.
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︎ Sep 07 2019
i just learn that sorry is improper grammar and that the correct way to say it is i'm sorry
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︎ Jun 06 2020
What do you call an Asian man who always has correct change?
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︎ Aug 25 2017
Helping the postman get this to the correct address
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 28 2019
Technically correct.
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︎ May 17 2019
If 90Β° says anything in argument with the other angles, it's always correct.
Cuz it's the only right angle.
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︎ Dec 27 2019
Why are there no politically correct motor-sports fans?
PC-people don't see race.
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︎ Apr 17 2020
this is the correct place
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︎ Dec 09 2019
I mean, itβs correct tho
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︎ Sep 07 2019
I said "kansas" like "kansaw" like you know, how "arkansas" is pronounced, and once my bf told me the truth, i spent my life seeing who would correct me and it wasnt suprising.
I was told a long time ago your true friends will be honest with you, especially if it's not something that will hurt your feelings really bad.
So this life long joke of "kansaw" was only ever corrected by boyfriends, best friends, and family. Others were people thinking i meant "warsaw" in which i frantically said oh no no no!
I made a point to be say this one main line like "omg can a tornado in kansaw just suck me out of this"
"Maybe i should move to Kansaw where its just wind and tornadoe shelters"
I tried to make it come up organically as possible though.
But the other times where people said nothing, some of these people good friends, now have a joke behind my back but i had it behind their backs first....
Life is fun
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︎ Sep 17 2019
In Soviet Union comment corrects you
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︎ Jun 05 2019
Why won't a signwriter ever correct their work?
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︎ Nov 28 2019
What did the Apple say to the lemon & lime when he found out they were correct?
Yeah, I guess youβre Sprite
π︎ 10
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︎ Oct 21 2019
Driving through farmland with the family, my dad randomly says βHey look! A whole flock of cows!β My uncle corrects him: βHerd of cows...β
Dad: βOf course Iβve heard of cows! Look! Theyβre all over the damn place!β
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︎ Oct 14 2019
My kid has a toy set of different biblical characters, but one started talking and now it condescendingly corrects me all the time...
...what a little Noah doll.
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︎ Oct 06 2019
Apparently the inventor of auto-correct has died.
His funeral is next monkey.
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︎ Dec 08 2018
If your phone auto corrects "fuck" to "duck," it's okay to keep it...
It's still fowl language.
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︎ Sep 10 2018
The cop who had theorized the murder weapon was a box of school books found that he was correct!
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︎ Sep 14 2019
This is the only correct spelling
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︎ Mar 28 2019
Quite correct
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︎ Oct 14 2018
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︎ Aug 24 2018
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︎ Aug 16 2019
The correct attire
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︎ Mar 23 2018
Correct spelling for DRILL?
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︎ Sep 20 2018
Chinese Restaurant owner is correct in more than one way. [X-POST]
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︎ May 15 2018
The man who invented auto correct has died
His funfair is on Sundial at moon.
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︎ Apr 26 2019
Correct English...
Eric Morecombe: "Who's that lady I seen you with last night?"
Ernie Wise: "You mean 'I saw'"!
Eric Morecombe:" Sorry - Who's that eyesore I seen you with last night?"
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︎ Apr 15 2019
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︎ Sep 12 2018
What's the correct format for r/dadjokes ?
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︎ Mar 11 2019
Since Ilium was another name of Troy, and -ad means "story of" in Ancient Greek, the correct translation of Iliad would be:
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︎ Feb 05 2019
It may not be politically correct to say this,..
But the US Presidential Elections are being held today.
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︎ Nov 06 2018
The guy who invented auto-correct passed away today.
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︎ Mar 28 2020
When my father said he had a 'Dad bod', I wanted to correct him
so I said "No, to me it's more like a FATHER FIGURE."
π︎ 24
π
︎ Mar 07 2020
It might not be politically correct for me to say this..
..but Benjamin Franklin was a great American President.
π︎ 21
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︎ Oct 17 2019
What do you call an Asian man who always has the correct change?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 20 2019
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