The art of vore
It’s called Wyld Scallions
Home, home on the range!
But I don’t like to be one to mince my words
It's called "how to wok your dog"
Classic case of raita's block.
Mine said I could keep chicken in the freezer up to three months, but I only put one in yesterday evening and by this morning it was dead.
Got a cookbook for my mother in law for Christmas. It hasn't come in the mail yet so we're printing out a picture of it and wanted to include pun on it, but husband and I are failing miserably. Help?
I was looking at a cookbook to come up with some meal ideas for the coming week, and after reading the name of a recipe, my wife said, "Ooh. That sounds good. How do you make that?"
"Well, you start with tea..."
(pause)
"and end with h-a-t"
"What a load of nonsense. There's at least 50 in here and they're all quite big."
I remarked that I thought it would be a nice thing to make one day to which my Dad piped in with,
"Is that the one with the questionable morals?"
We're all gathered around the table, eating delicious roast.
Mom: "Honey, you should have been a chef."
Dad: "Why? So you can put books on me?"
Mom and I: Confused expressions
Dad: "You know, a bookchef."
My daughter wanted to make brownies.
She went to the kitchen and discovered that there was no box of mix.
I pointed to the cookbook and said you need to learn to think outside the box.
Either she's getting wise to my jokes or she's tired of them. Doesn't matter because she got me good.
We're on a low carb diet and she recently bought a cookbook. So we go out to the store and she picks up some whey protein.
"We can make pancakes with this!", says the wife.
"No whey!" I remark, holding back my schoolgirl giggle.
She rolls her eyes, "You're whey out of line this time."
I was having dinner at my old folks' place. My mom served a salad and told us that it was an Italian salad from a cookbook she just got. My dad responded: 'nevermind, we won't be talking to it'.
(Showing her the cookbook I made my fiance. Her camera was not on)
"Here is the cookbook I made for mrs. Peabo721 to be"
"Wow Peabo721, that looks awesome!"
"Why thank you grandma"
"You are welcome! This is my favorite dessert cookbook"
"I can't see you right now grandma"
"I know, I'm holding a cookbook in front of me. long pause Nevermind"
Wife: we joked with my boss that this pie cookbook had 200 pies.
Me: Are you sure it isn't 314 pies.
This earned me a swat on the rear.
She got a cookbook but a vegetarian version of a book she already has.
My mom said literally: "Oh I didn't know it was also vegetarian??".
Classic dad answer: "Nah it isn't I saw it eating meat just around the corner."
He then proceeded to laugh at his joke for a good 5 minutes. But really rebursting out in laughter ever minute it was awful/awesome at the same time.
