they have found the heartless people responsible for all this controversy with the stocks

The Callous Dowboys

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ojohn69
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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To call the whole Elon Musk controversy β€œElon-Gate” seems like a bit of a stretch
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JuIius_Seizure95
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2018
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What should be the 2017 Oscars La la Land - Moonlight controversy renamed as?

DilEmma

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πŸ‘€︎ u/engineerwho_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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Have you guys been following that Broadway controversy?

Turns out ALL their plays are staged.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brigitlemidgette
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
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There was some controversy in the sports world this week, when they allowed some athletes to try out for the Olympic gymnastics team more than once

I thought it was just revaulting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2017
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There is alot of controversy about universal sign language in the deaf community

However they aren't very vocal about it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedoomfulldome
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2016
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Did you hear about the latest controversy with the USDA?

Evidently they've been collecting everyone's meatdata.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2014
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I know it's too soon and still very controversial, but it's likely that the rioters may have the death penalty.

It was, after all, a Capitol offense.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/roguebuckeye
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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In an attempt to bring great pleasure to myself, I'll post controversial topics in white supremacist groups in the attempt to get funny reactions out of them.

I'm mass-turd-baiting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Klratz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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Obviously
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaserJetVulfpeck
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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Which Denver Broncos' player's opinions are the least controversial?

Noah Fant's.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mightierthor
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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Jordan Peterson is a controversial figure but he did figure out something interesting.

So he’s mostly known as a psychologist, self help Guru and β€œphilosopher” but he also did some interesting work in Marine Biology.

One of the papers he worked on was on how the nuclear tests in the Bikini Atol effected Predator genetics.

The results learned that the nuclear tests during the cold war disrupted shark breeding so much that species were splitting apart.

They called it the Post Modern Neo Shark Schism.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
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Having gay parents must be horrible

You either get twice the amount of dad jokes or you get stuck in an infinite loop of "go ask your mom."

Edit: On another Sub someone called me a homophobe. I want to say I'm not a homophobe it was simply a light hearted joke. I'm gay myself and wouldn't want to create hate or controversy. So sorry if I offended anyone.

Edit 2: Thanks for giving me my first award.

Edit 3: if you have heard it else where then fine Like this one guy in the comments said "I’ve seen it a few times but no doubt many people haven’t. No reason a good joke can’t be posted bc someone’s posted it in the past."

Edit 4: making too many edits but thanks for the gold kind stranger (And all of them means alot)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SergeantSolar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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After high school Farris Bueller became one of the most controversial FBI directors in recent memory after his investigation of a sitting president

The investigation was known as the "Bueller Report"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thylocine
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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Civil War puns might be a little controversial.

But they are General Lee easy to make.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
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A controversial British-Indian author was found dead today by a Swiss man today when he opened a can of fish to make a potato cake.

It is believed to be a salmon rosti.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/epicsnail14
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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Controversial cosmetic surgeon raises a few eyebrows
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2016
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Embarrased my 15yo daughter today at McDs

Ordered a cafe mocha at a ghetto McDs. African American "Barrista" asks me "you want the chocolate drizzle?"

I replied: "drizzle my nizzle" in the most white snoop dogg voice i could muster.

Barrista laughed. Daughter shrank. I then held my head high for the rest of the day. F'n proud was I.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thegogetter222
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2014
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A Ham Sandwich Walks into a Bar..

Strolls up to the bartender and says 'Pint of lager please mate'

Bartender looks the Ham Sandwich up and down and says 'Sorry mate, we don't serve food here'

Edit; Sorry that this is causing so much controversy in Dad joke world. My Dad literally told me this joke and it totally is a 'Dad joke' in my eyes!

Edit 2 Just want to say some of these comments have had me in bits! Keep them coming Dads! #DadPower

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2015
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What do you call a phamplets brother?

A bro-chure

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dermernerk21
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2016
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The award for the best dadjokes 2018 goes to...

… u/ebkbk for this post: Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. made on 24.11. with 38.9k upvotes

[also already made by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes]

Let's move on to the top 3 of each month:

January:

  1. Is this sub still active? by u/I_Fart_Liquids on 01.01. with 36.4k upvotes

  2. Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine by u/daugarten on 20.01. with 30.8k upvotes

  3. An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes: by u/Alfie_13 on 27.01. with 18.9k upvotes

February:

  1. Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. by u/jakeisbill on 05.02. for 20.3k upvotes

  2. My daughter asked me what I'm posting on Reddit... by u/madazzahatter on 25.02. for 18.3k upvotes

  3. When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding. by u/ownworldman on 23.02. for 17.7k upvotes

March:

  1. I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought... by u/madazzahatter on 21.03. for 22.2k upvotes

  2. Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes.

  3. [When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.](https://www.reddit.com/r/da

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skormes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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A short collection of fresh puns.

Most of this is my own work, if not, it was inspired by something clever!
I hope this will tickle your funnybone and produce a jolly good set of laughs.

A guy didn't register that the wet paint signs about the handrail was still drying, his hand immediately stuck to the rail. My only response to him was, well you see there, it's an application problem, not hardware.

A researcher's obsession with mixing sand, stones, lime and water has started to yield concrete results.

Eyeglass makers who profit well can frame their success.

Joe: I gave the backyard squirrels Christmas presents!
Abby: Are you nuts?
Joe: No, that's what I gave them...

What did the supervisor at the tortilla factory say at the end of a long workday?
That's a wrap!

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. (Insp)

People who don't answer the phone sometimes miss their calling in life.

His words were heavy, but his friends didn't get the gravity of the situation.

Time flies like crazy!
Fruit flies like apples!

Never let logic and reasoning get in the way of telling a good story. (Sounds like something that would be said on TopGear/Grand Tour)

There are a few words that will open many doors for you in life - Push and Pull (Insp)

Somehow people really don't like it when I throw lamps at them to encourage them to lighten up.
Same goes for tossing handles for when they need to get a grip or soap for cleaning up their act.

When you're on the ballot for the water council and they have a runoff election.

Ghosts speak latin, it's a dead language (Insp)

If you work at a grocery, send the interns down to the meat market to get some red herrings.

There was a river in Egypt that no one believed existed, it was known locally as De-Nile.

Bad luck Brian - Invests in uranium, profits decay.

There was an explosion at the film manufacturing company, reporters say the story is still developing.

Why do bagpipers walk around?
To get away from the noise (Insp)

Most people have a six-figure income, just the decimal point is in the wrong place.

It has recently been discovered that scientific research causes cancer in rats.

In Russia, the term road has had a controversial meaning for a very long time.

In Canada/Russia, you put things in the fridge to warm them up.

Did you know that the creator of Barbie was named Barbara Dahl?

Doc: There's something not q

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2017
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If /puns were to host a fence building party according to the rules...

(This is more parody/satire than a pun, but I tried to make sure it had puns.)

  1. No more than half the people attending can wear trucker hats.

  2. The fences must be measured and spaced using meters. It doesn't matter if you're putting them in someone's yard.

  3. If you pull up a fence post, you cannot reuse it. In fact, you cannot use recycled posts from other people's yards.

  4. Don't keep up with the Jones'. But if you can't avoid this, make sure you give the Jones' the credit due for coming up with it first.

  5. You can bring lunch as sort of a potluck affair, but do not bring canned meat products from Hormel.

  6. If you bring a fence post, it must look like a fence post. If it might be confused with something else, make sure the box or protective wrapping calls it a fence post.

  7. When announcing the event, you are not allowed to make references to punch or people getting in line for punch. Just like Fight Club...

For now, we have no rule about promoting one stock car event over another as you work, or discussing other controversial matters. That won't change as long as you don't abuse this. Please keep your fence posts in good taste and suitable for all audiences. But if you do bring risque fence posts, make sure to cover them with a shroud labeled adult only, and I won't pull them up, provided the other rules are followed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
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I actually submitted my own idea for a Deadpool movie.

He survives through to the 24th century and gets his own ship. He somehow runs afoul of a certain Bajoran captain who used to be a distinguished ensign on the Enterprise, under Captain Picard.

The movie then becomes about their conflict. The response from the studio wasn't kind. They said I should abort the idea. They said it would be too controversial to make a movie about Ro v. Wade.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Myntrith
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2016
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My wife cut me off before the punchline...

In the produce section, checking off grocery list.

wife: "What's next?"

me: "Leeks. You know, there's a really useful but very controversial website about that vegetable. You can edit it-"

wife: "No. Nope, I'm not letting you finish this one."

me, whispering to myself: wikileeks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshuatx
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2015
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Dad-joked my U.S. History Class.

Today in History Class, we were learning about FDR's New Deal, and my teacher brought up the Tennessee Valley Authority (TVA), which was part of FDR's many public works programs, this one being responsible for damming the Tennessee River for hydroelectric power, and the controversies surrounding it.

In response, I rose my hand and said, "Wow, the TVA must have caused alot of dam controversy."

Laughs were had by all, including the teacher.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EPIDIDYMIS_HUMMUS
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2014
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