My wife said she wants me to consider purchasing a decent telescope for the family to use.
I told her Iβd look into it.
π︎ 42
π
︎ May 17 2021
If you have the soldiers named Salt and Pepper in your squad then consider yourself lucky.
They're seasoned veterans
π︎ 278
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
Would you consider...
A theatrical performance about grammar enthusiasts to be a play on words?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 09 2021
I've had a hard time figuring out why I don't consider cottage cheese truly "cheese"
But it's just a curd to me
π︎ 338
π
︎ Dec 19 2020
Demi Lovato is my favorite female, I consider her a hero.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 14 2021
Before you say yes to a proposal, there is one thing you have to consider
On one hand, you get a really nice ring, but on the other hand, you won't.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Dec 13 2020
Most people consider the Battle of Gettysburg the turning point of the American Civil War
For the Confederacy, it all went South from there
π︎ 16
π
︎ Dec 12 2020
Some consider owls to be symbols of death.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
Pro tip: If you are looking for a cheap way to work out at home, consider using milk jugs as weights.
But be sure to use almond or soy milk, Iβve heard theyβre the healthier alternatives.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
Consider the following
WD-40 is just wrench dressing.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 09 2020
Some might consider me a genius in a blazer...
...when really, I just consider myself a khakius in a polo.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
If any one on this sub is thinking of getting married soon, please consider this carefully.
On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you donβt.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jul 06 2019
You should really consider doing a job cleaning mirrors.
It leaves plenty of time for self-reflection.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 14 2020
When a Minotaur considers himself an optimist is it that he sees his glass as half-bull?
π︎ 19
π
︎ Mar 15 2020
Canadian PM Justin Trudeau considers changing the name of a province
But the voters are having Nunavut
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 02 2020
My aunt's astrological sign was cancer, funny to consider how she died
She was killed by a giant crab
π︎ 199
π
︎ May 21 2019
Before starting a cult, be sure to consider the following
π︎ 290
π
︎ Apr 09 2019
If you are what you eat, consider me a dried grape.
I guess I'm just a product of my raisin.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 11 2020
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 07 2020
You need to consider the elements of a pun
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jun 02 2019
A lot of people consider me to be the margarine of comedy
I tell a joke and they canβt believe itβs not better.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 25 2020
i consider this a pun
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 29 2019
Everyone considers honesty a virtue
but no one wants to hear the truth.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 14 2020
Do you think people in Finland who lose their citizenship consider themselves unfinished?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 05 2019
I posted the Knitler picture and puns followed, except they didn't consider some puns
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 23 2019
Now I consider myself a pretty bad person, But the guy who stole food from that birthday party over there
π︎ 10
π
︎ Aug 23 2019
Im don't consider myself hip
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 18 2019
I would consider myself a pretty rad dad, so here you go: "Why wasn't the document allowed at the children's party?"
"Why wasn't the document allowed at the children's party?"
Because he was a PDF File!
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jan 21 2014
As a woman I consider myself to be wife material. You know how much you have to pay per yard for wife material? About a house and a yard!
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 01 2018
In most places, the right side is considered the right side to drive on. The ones left consider it to be the left.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 01 2019
I wonβt even consider ordering an appetizer at Indian restaurants
Itβs a total naan starter
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 30 2019
I told the family we seriously need to consider getting a mini-van, and my 4-year-old-son was very upset.
Instead, he insisted we buy a Mickey van.
π︎ 27
π
︎ May 30 2019
Do you know why I consider my warehouse job a sacred thing?
Because worshipping pallets!
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 03 2019
If you're going to steal some poetry, what should you consider?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Nov 09 2018
I was telling my buddy how my wife is driving me to drink. He said to me, βConsider yourself lucky.β
βMine makes me walk.β
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 13 2019
Several of the guys at the local pub have pony tails which they wear in pretty little man buns. I wonder if they'd ever consider getting a haircut...
I guess they'd have to mullet over.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 20 2019
Why does the invisible man consider cups with the apple logo an invasion of privacy?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 08 2019
If you're thinking about working in a prison library, it's important to consider the prose and cons.
π︎ 173
π
︎ Mar 04 2016
Consider me lumber
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 01 2019
what does a successful person without arms consider the world
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 08 2019
If youβre getting married consider the following...
...on one hand, you wear a super cool ring, on the other hand, you donβt
π︎ 11
π
︎ Aug 08 2020
In case youβre thinking about getting married, consider this carefullyβ-on the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you donβt.
π︎ 138
π
︎ Mar 26 2020
In case youβre thinking about getting married, consider this carefullyβ-on the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you donβt.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Mar 27 2020
If any of you single *fellas here are thinking of getting married, consider the following before you do:
On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you donβt.
π︎ 60
π
︎ Aug 14 2019
For people on this sub who are thinking of getting married, consider this carefully before you do.
On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you donβt.
π︎ 50
π
︎ Oct 15 2019
In case youβre thinking about getting married, consider this carefullyβ-on the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you donβt.
π︎ 51
π
︎ Mar 27 2019
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