In which state, in America, there's the highest concentration of weebs?
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︎ Feb 16 2020
I just finished my masters in engineering with a concentration in adhesives...
Within the next year I want to publish my first book on tape
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︎ Mar 11 2019
I have a Science Fair project on how music effects concentration and memory. Can any of you guys help me think of a punny or clever title?
If there's anything I'm terrible at, it's coming up with puns. Any help would be GREATLY appreciated!
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︎ Apr 14 2013
βDad, how do we make orange juice from the concentrate?β -5yo
βWe use 3 cans of water to distract it.β
βWhat?β
βYa it should lose focus soon enough.β
the eye rolls from my partner were fantastic.
This happened tonight. We were talking about βconcentrateβ because they read me silly jokes from their school milk cartons like βwhy does X stare at the can of OJ? Because it says βconcentrateβ.β So we were talking about what the word meant.
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︎ Aug 31 2020
I watched a TV programme about the House of Lords last week. But I wasnβt really concentrating so Iβm going to have to watch it again.
Thatβll be the Peer review.
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︎ Jul 08 2020
I got canned from a Orange juice factory...
Just couldn't concentrate.
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︎ Dec 24 2020
Concentrated orange juice
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︎ Nov 22 2019
What do you call a summer camp that helps people with ADHD?
A concentration camp.
I'll see myself out.
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︎ Dec 07 2020
Scientists finally had success breeding a donkey and a coyote!
They named it Don Quixote.
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︎ Dec 03 2020
I was at the beach today and there was a group of pelicans not doing anything. I concentrated hard on one pelican and suddenly if flew out to the water, snagged a fish in his bill and flew back to shore. "Wow", I thought to myself..
Pelikinesis is a real thing.
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︎ Aug 23 2019
I like my coffee CONCENTRATED. Kill me.
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︎ Sep 21 2019
I can't think about buying any stupid pure freshly squeezed juice right now.
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︎ Dec 30 2020
Orange Jews 100% concentrate
π︎ 8
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︎ Jun 03 2019
Donβt you hate that the carton of orange juice says concentrate
But never says for how long.
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︎ Jul 13 2019
A Whale's driving force is 100 percent concentrated power of krill
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︎ Oct 19 2018
I recommend that you all use herb concentrates from now on.
Thyme is of the essence after all.
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︎ Feb 19 2019
I once saw a guy staring at a can of orange juice, and when I asked him why he was doing that,
he said, "because it says 'concentrate' on the can."
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︎ Sep 21 2020
Some punny jobs
WORKING ON A JOB
My first job was working in an orange juice factory,
but I got canned
I just couldnβt concentrate.
.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack,
but I just couldnβt hack it,
so they gave me the axe.
.
After that I tried to be a tailor,
but I just wasnβt suited for it.
The job was only so-so anyhow.
.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory,
but that was exhausting.
.
I wanted to be a barber,
but I just couldnβt cut it.
.
I attempted to be a deli worker,
but any way I sliced it,
I couldnβt cut the mustard.
.
My best job was being a musician,
but eventually I found I wasnβt note worthy.
.
I studied a long time to become a doctor,
but I didnβt have any patience.
.
Next was a job in a shoe factory;
but it just wasnβt the right fit.
.
I became a professional fisherman,
but discovered that I couldnβt live on my net income.
.
I thought about becoming a witch,
so I tried that for a spell.
.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company,
but the work was just too draining.
.
After many years of trying to find steady work,
I finally got a job as a historian,
until I realized there was no future in it.
.
My last job was working at Starbucks,
but I had to quit,
because it was always the same old grind.
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︎ Sep 16 2020
I want to create a game centered around concentric circles...
I just don't know who my target audience would be.
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︎ Jul 04 2018
Catastrophic pun
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︎ Nov 10 2019
I decided to send my son to a camp to help with his ADHD
They call it a concentration camp
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︎ Aug 16 2020
Where should children with ADHD be sent to for therapy?
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︎ Aug 07 2020
What is a very concentrated Harrison?
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︎ Jan 21 2018
π︎ 85
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︎ Apr 02 2014
What do you call a boat that really concentrates on a task?
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︎ Sep 09 2016
Who led the Jewish people across a semi-permeable membrane?
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︎ Oct 02 2018
I just drank concentrate by mistake...
I guess that'll teach me for not paying attention.
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︎ Feb 21 2017
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
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︎ Feb 24 2020
From a young age I wanted to play guitar very badly.
After decades of dedicated and concentrated practice, I finally achieved my goal.
I can play guitar very badly.
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︎ Nov 19 2019
The orange juice was studying very hard
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︎ Mar 02 2020
Quite an acidic burn
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︎ Sep 01 2015
Don't drink water while studying chemistry.
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︎ Aug 31 2018
I drove by a truck carrying canned orange juice and I almost got into an accident.
I should have concentrated on the road.
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︎ May 10 2019
Tonight, my daughter assisted me in hanging a new medicine cabinet.
Me: I think I measured wrong. The toggle bolts aren't lining up with the darned holes. Man, I really screwed this up.
Her: Did you........make a pun?
Me: concentrating on the task at hand Huh?
Her: Never mind.
Me: gets it Ha! No, but that's awesome! "Screwed" it up. Ha! You're a PunMaster!
Her: You're a dork.
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︎ Aug 12 2019
My wife asked, "What's wrong honey?" I sighed, "Iβm just not having much luck with jobs lately."
"I couldnβt concentrate in the orange juice factory, wasnβt suited to be a tailor, the muffler factory was just exhausting, couldnβt cut it as barber, didnβt have the patience to be a doctor, didnβt fit in the shoe factory, pool maintenance was too draining and I just couldnβt see any future as a historian!"
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︎ Aug 18 2020
I used to work at the orange juice factory..
I got fired because I couldn't concentrate...
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︎ May 28 2020
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
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︎ Nov 15 2019
What do you call a gulag for people with ADHD?
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︎ Nov 28 2019
I got fired from the frozen orange juice factory today.
I just couldnβt concentrate.
π︎ 5k
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︎ Aug 24 2018
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
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︎ Nov 04 2019
I haven't had much success with jobs lately
I couldnβt concentrate in the orange juice factory; wasnβt suited to be a tailor; the muffler factory was just exhausting; couldnβt cut it as barber; didnβt have the patience to be a doctor; didnβt fit in the shoe factory; pool maintenance was too draining and I just couldnβt see any future as a historian. I'm going to look into becoming an optometrist. We'll see.
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︎ Sep 12 2019
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
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︎ Nov 07 2019
I got fired from the orange juice factory because
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︎ Oct 12 2019
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
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︎ Nov 09 2019
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
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︎ Nov 15 2019
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