44 Hilarious Coates Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

After getting badly hurt, my friend asked me not to sugar coat it

So I used stevia instead.

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/GoodHippo9

📅︎ Mar 01 2021

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I've just bought my wife a new coat, that's all the colours of the Spectrum.

Black, with grey rubber buttons.

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/awesome_smokey

📅︎ Jan 28 2021

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Where does Santa keep his coat?

In the Clause-it

👍︎ 35

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👤︎ u/skrugzalicious

📅︎ Dec 06 2020

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The wife has a new Ewok fur coat.

She looks totally wicket in it.

👍︎ 16

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👤︎ u/joeChump

📅︎ Dec 15 2020

🚨︎ report

How do you steal a coat?

You jacket.

👍︎ 37

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👤︎ u/Jeepon728

📅︎ Nov 25 2020

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I'm applying coats of varnish to the table I'm making

My brother: Jeez, How many coats do you need? I'm sure the table is warm enough already!

👍︎ 8

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👤︎ u/CodyBaanks

📅︎ Jan 05 2021

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What do you call a swat officers coat?

A brooch and clear

👍︎ 3

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👤︎ u/Routine_Palpitation

📅︎ Nov 03 2020

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Albert Einstein's COAT of the day

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/SuperSujith_16

📅︎ Sep 08 2020

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I was going to buy my kid this winter coat we saw at the mall, but I couldn't afford it.

So I had to jacket.

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/iLL_Motives

📅︎ Sep 25 2020

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What kind of coat does a house wear?

A coat of paint

👍︎ 22

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👤︎ u/pickle_mateo

📅︎ Jul 02 2020

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Today I went out searching for shredded coconut coated in chocolate.

They call me The Bounty Hunter.

👍︎ 9

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👤︎ u/Datolite7

📅︎ Jun 01 2020

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A chicken and a duck are stood by a road

Chicken clucks to his friend "don't do it mate, you'll never hear the end of it!"

👍︎ 36

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👤︎ u/fuzzy-chin

📅︎ Feb 01 2021

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A toothless old lady in hospital always gave away the peanuts she was given by her visitors to the nurses to eat.

One day a nurse asked her why she didn't ask for grapes instead of nuts.She replied that you can't get grapes with chocolate coating!

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/glezgatoon

📅︎ Apr 16 2021

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You really should be careful not to leave your coat laying around.

You never know when someone might jack it.

👍︎ 17

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👤︎ u/2shack

📅︎ Apr 21 2020

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I saw a woman wearing a coat made out of animal pelts.

I was like, "Fur real?"

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/FinalCaveat

📅︎ Apr 07 2020

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You otter hear this

A stoat and a weasel meet in a bar in the late fall and have a few drinks. One thing leads to another, and they decide to leave and spend the night together.

As they leave the weasel leans over and whispers, "i see you've changed into your winter coat. So, your place, ermine?"

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/damarius

📅︎ Mar 18 2021

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Coat of arms

👍︎ 58

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👤︎ u/Dee_Lansky

📅︎ Mar 06 2019

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Why do bears have hairy coats?

Fur protection

👍︎ 40

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👤︎ u/HairBrainedProjects

📅︎ Sep 24 2019

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Coat of Arms

Couldn't get this out of my head so I drew it

👍︎ 12

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👤︎ u/SwordOfCheese

📅︎ Aug 17 2019

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I looked rather dapper in my pants, coat and tie, if I don't say so myself!

The clothes suited me.

👍︎ 9

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline

📅︎ Jan 11 2020

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My kid just got fired from his coat check job.

He couldn’t get the hang of it.

👍︎ 19

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Dec 12 2019

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“The Queen is coming. Please wear your family coat of arms.”

👍︎ 423

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ May 02 2018

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What do you call three cats standing on top of each other, wearing a trench coat, pretending to be human? reddit.com/r/dadjokes/com…

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/man_nowhere

📅︎ Sep 11 2019

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Two elderly women were sitting on a park bench when a man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. One woman has a stroke.

The other couldn’t reach.

👍︎ 46

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👤︎ u/labink

📅︎ Jul 07 2019

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What do you call three cats standing on top of each other, wearing a trench coat, pretending to be human?

A purrson

👍︎ 18

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👤︎ u/man_nowhere

📅︎ Sep 11 2019

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What do you call a dinosaur who is easy to clean, heat resistant and long lasting?

py-rex

I'll get my coat...

👍︎ 437

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👤︎ u/byte_marx

📅︎ Oct 26 2020

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Buttoning up my little daughter's coat one day, it hit me ....

Being a parent really is fastenating.

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/PotBuzz

📅︎ Nov 27 2019

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Did you hear about the lady who bought a fur coat?

She wanted to be the miss in lynx

👍︎ 3

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👤︎ u/DarkJizo-_-

📅︎ Nov 15 2019

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How do you steal a coat?

You jacket

👍︎ 14

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👤︎ u/FlintTheDad

📅︎ Dec 27 2020

🚨︎ report

How do you steal a coat?

You jacket.

👍︎ 327

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👤︎ u/uhavethebiggay

📅︎ Sep 19 2020

🚨︎ report

How do you steal a coat?

You jacket

👍︎ 24

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👤︎ u/Chuck_elliottJr

📅︎ Nov 02 2020

🚨︎ report

How do you steal a coat?

You Jacket

👍︎ 39

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👤︎ u/MrWulf360

📅︎ Oct 02 2020

🚨︎ report

How do you steal a coat?

You jacket

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/Scottspears89

📅︎ Oct 23 2020

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How do you steal a coat?

You jacket 😎

👍︎ 17

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👤︎ u/Otterz4Life

📅︎ Sep 30 2020

🚨︎ report

How do you steal a coat

You jacket

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/got_nohandz

📅︎ Oct 09 2020

🚨︎ report

How do you steal a coat?

You jack it.

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/-random-

📅︎ Jun 26 2020

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How do you steal a coat?

You jacket

👍︎ 28

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👤︎ u/invertedparadoxxx

📅︎ Apr 13 2020

🚨︎ report

How do you steal a coat?

You JACKET!

👍︎ 13

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👤︎ u/idkthisisnotmyusual

📅︎ Apr 18 2020

🚨︎ report

How do you steal a coat?

You jacket.

👍︎ 11

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👤︎ u/Boom223

📅︎ Apr 17 2020

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What kind of coat does a house wear?

A coat of paint

👍︎ 15

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👤︎ u/oldgenmemelord

📅︎ Mar 23 2020

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What does a house wear?

“Address”

👍︎ 589

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👤︎ u/HangryModeActivate

📅︎ Sep 06 2020

🚨︎ report

How do you steal a coat?

You jacket.

👍︎ 21

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👤︎ u/notdadbot

📅︎ Nov 02 2019

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Why do bears have hairy coats?

Fur protection.

👍︎ 13

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👤︎ u/notdadbot

📅︎ Nov 07 2019

🚨︎ report

Why do bears have hairy coats?

Fur protection.

👍︎ 14

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👤︎ u/notdadbot

📅︎ Nov 01 2019

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