33 Hilarious Coast Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Just watched an episode of 24 where Jack Bauer had to decide to either help the cartel transfer cannabis crystals into the U.S within 24 hours or they would blow up the Gulf Coast states.

...It was Kief or Southernland.

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👤︎ u/AquamarineCheetah

📅︎ Dec 30 2020

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What did Apple call the small country they bought off the coast of Wales?

iLand

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👤︎ u/FIROEDA

📅︎ Nov 24 2020

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I don't think the coast is clear just yet

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👤︎ u/ohsureyoudo

📅︎ Apr 30 2020

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All these storms are hitting the Gulf Coast a lot quicker than usual.

Must be why they call them hurry-canes.

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👤︎ u/Red-Direct-Dad

📅︎ Oct 08 2020

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It used to be free to fill your car tire up with air. Now it coasts 1.50. You know why?

Inflation.

👍︎ 11k

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👤︎ u/HoshForce

📅︎ Jan 08 2019

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I don’t trust people on the west coast who don’t like seafood.

There’s something fishy about them.

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👤︎ u/Digomansaur

📅︎ Apr 28 2020

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An American ship is sinking off the German coast.

The captain goes to use the radio to get help and says “we’re sinking! We’re sinking!”

The German operator answers “what are you sinking about?”

👍︎ 24

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👤︎ u/NoamTheSHEEP

📅︎ Feb 04 2020

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My Friend is going to a fancy dress party and said he's going to dress up as a small island off the coast of italy...

I said don't be Sicily.

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👤︎ u/matimo123

📅︎ Dec 18 2019

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Just reached the coast of Labrador, looking for signs of retrievers.

(what my dad texted me from the airplane home)

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👤︎ u/lucidDreamcast

📅︎ Jan 15 2020

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Why couldn't the coast guard rescue the hippie?

Because he was too far out

👍︎ 118

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👤︎ u/wookslayer69

📅︎ Sep 28 2018

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What did Justin Timberlake say when the lead singer of Weezer asked him to name a major peninsula on the northern coast of the Black Sea?

Crimea, Rivers.

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👤︎ u/underdog_rox

📅︎ Sep 24 2019

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So I was given the ability to fly the other day, decided to give it a whirl over the pacific. Little did I know how tired I was getting but just in the knick of time I saw a remote location that looked deserted off the coast, so what do I do?

Island.

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👤︎ u/Snaaaaaaaaaake

📅︎ Jan 19 2017

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"How long do you think it would take to walk across the entire US, coast to coast?"

Oh, wow. I don't really know, maybe a year?
No son, May be a month.

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👤︎ u/Packiestan

📅︎ Aug 12 2018

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People on the West Coast are so overdramatic.

It’s 2019 here, you gotta stop living in the past.

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👤︎ u/Red1474

📅︎ Jan 01 2019

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Why doesn’t anyone want to live on the West Coast of South America?

Because it’s Chile...

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👤︎ u/AsclepiusofHealing

📅︎ Sep 21 2018

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Mussels off the coast of Seattle test positive for opioids

If they had tested positive for marijuana, would they be baked mussels?

Mussels off the coast of Seattle test positive for opioids

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👤︎ u/IchWillRingen

📅︎ May 31 2018

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What did the Coast Guard say to the hippy?

You're to far out man!

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👤︎ u/4abcde

📅︎ Oct 04 2018

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What does santa do when he's driving around the coast of california?

Santa cruz

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👤︎ u/Vi3ual

📅︎ Oct 03 2018

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I've always wanted a narrow land bridge between Hampshire and an island off the south coast of England.

I'm dreaming of a Wight Isthmus.

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👤︎ u/AlRedux

📅︎ Nov 08 2018

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To those living on the west coast

Happy Wester!

👍︎ 16

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👤︎ u/omart3

📅︎ Apr 16 2017

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Which coast of Antarctica has the most shoreline?

The north coast

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👤︎ u/bew132

📅︎ Aug 15 2017

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At the beach, I told my GF I woke up early in hopes of seeing dolphins off the coast, with no luck.

"Well babe, I guess I woke up early for no porpoise."

She normally loves puns but all this got me was a eye-roll and a groan.

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👤︎ u/heyitsmecolku

📅︎ May 23 2017

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A U.S. Naval ship is sinking off the coast of Europe

As soon as they found out they were in trouble, they started over the radio, “Mayday, Mayday, We are Sinking, I repeat, We are sinking!”

A little while later the German Coast Guard responds, “ Allo, zis is zee German Coast Guard, Vat are you sinking about?”

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👤︎ u/wizardofozmak

📅︎ Apr 12 2018

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Parents visited the lighthouse at the coast

Dad said it was the highlight of his trip

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👤︎ u/RawrHaus

📅︎ Oct 24 2016

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My friend just told me that for Halloween, he's dressing up as the Archipelago off the southwest coast of Britain....

I said, don't be so scilly.

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👤︎ u/Manson_Girl

📅︎ Oct 04 2015

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Did you hear about all the banana stands opening up along the east coast.

To me, this just sounds like a bunch of monkey business.

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👤︎ u/icrose33

📅︎ Aug 03 2016

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What do you call only listening to West coast rap?

No Biggie.

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👤︎ u/Kiro0613

📅︎ Jul 01 2016

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Tropical Storm Colin is soaking the coast...

for those off the East coast of Florida, it looks like a foot of rain.

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👤︎ u/sixmilesoldier

📅︎ Jun 06 2016

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A hurricane is going to hit the east coast?

Are you Joaquin me?

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👤︎ u/cinn-e-mon

📅︎ Oct 01 2015

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East Coast Represent!

Last night my wife and I were getting some of our things together in preparation for a vacation this weekend.

Wife: there's just too much to pack

Me: Yeah, it's not a Biggie

Wife:... shakes head sadly

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👤︎ u/VanTil

📅︎ May 08 2014

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Me and my friend were going to a costume party. He told me he was coming as a small island off the coast of Italy

I said don’t be Sicilly

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👤︎ u/ihaveafettishforfeet

📅︎ Mar 19 2020

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My friend said to me he wanted to become a small island off the coast of Italy

I said dont be Sicily

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👤︎ u/JRHMUK

📅︎ Mar 10 2019

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A man came up to me and said he was going to dress up as an island of the coast of Italy...

...I said "don't be Sicily"

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👤︎ u/Just_John_

📅︎ Dec 14 2018

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