Science calls it as "randomized clinical trial controlled with placebo", whereas I call it as..

.."Trick or Treatment"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amar610
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother-in-law, a clinical psychologist, says he is cutting back the days and hours of his work week.

In short his practice is shrinking.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bardbelle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad joked during clinicals today

Patient: Why couldn't they play cards on the Ark?

Me: Why?

Patient: Because Noah was standing on the deck.

He chuckled so satisfyingly. 84-years-old, one day post-op from a total knee replacement, proof that nothing can stop the dad jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 695
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πŸ“…︎ May 30 2014
🚨︎ report
Do You know what they call alternative medicine that has been proven to work via research, experimentation, and double-blind clinical trials?

Regular medicine.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeowMixSong
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2017
🚨︎ report
A priest, a pastor and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. Nurse asked the rabbit what his blood type is

He replied " I am probably a Type O"

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tomatosoup91
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Why was the chiropractor’s clinic called punctuation?

Because it’s a posture fee

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmesuh
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I phoned the clinic enquiring about a circumcision.

I got cut off.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
I just got the COVID 19 vaccine. I went into the clinic macrohard

I left feeling microsoft

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stubchubb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you guys hear about the deli at the medical research clinic?

I guess they successfully cured cancer.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jewlius_Ceizure
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
An unemployed engineer opens a clinic..

An engineer who was unemployed for a long time decided to open a medical clinic. He puts a sign outside the clinic: "A cure for your ailment guaranteed at $500; we'll pay you $1,000 if we fail."

A Doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to earn $1,000 and goes to his clinic.

Doctor: "I have lost my sense of taste."

Engineer: "Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

Doctor: "This is Gasoline!"

Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."

The Doctor gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days later to recover his money.

Doctor: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."

Engineer: "Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

Doctor: "But that is Gasoline!"

Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."

The Doctor leaves angrily and comes back after several days, more determined than ever to make his money back.

Doctor: "My eyesight has become weak."

Engineer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for this. Take this $1,000," passing the doctor a $500 note.

Doctor: "But this is $500..."

Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your vision back! That will be $500."

πŸ‘︎ 391
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tonheatz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I donated to a local clinic.

It was for a good gauze.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I did my first comedy gig in a fertility clinic.

I got a standing ovulation.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Ironically the door at the Mastectomy clinic....

....only has 1 knocker.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
So my wife is getting some medical tests done (we’re expecting our second child) and had to bring home a urine sample cup to fill up and bring back to the clinic the next day.

She asks me to bring it drop it off at the lab for her and I ask, β€œwhere do I drop it off?”

She says, β€œGo in the front door and there’s a little desk that you -β€œ

β€œDon’t you mean a LITTLE STOOL!?”

... I hope you guys enjoy that as much as I did. True story happened today!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gorhckmn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Does anyone know what the best pickup line is for when you are at an abortion clinic?

Come here often?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robb4217
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My mate works in Dublin hospital’s fracture clinic. The pay's crap....

....but she enjoys the craic.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tuna_Stubbs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Where did the salad dressing go for rehab?

The Mayo Clinic

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fractiousrhubarb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
🚨︎ report
At my dentist's clinic
πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealJeemboo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
If you were treated at the Mayo Clinic

for mustard gas exposure, would you ever catch up to previous health levels?

Food for thought

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rqstewart
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to my optometry clinic and said "I'm surprised this place isn't out of business yet......

because it's 20/20."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
The methadone clinic has cancelled urinalysis screenings for the rest of April

Unlike the grocery store, the clinic isn't adopting the "curbside pee-cup" system.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saltoftree
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Heroine

I walked into a substance abuse clinic for my second meeting yesterday. The doctor knew I had a severe crush on women super heros...today he told me the news.

"Sir I'm afraid it's dire, you need to be checked in immediately for your heroine addiction"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flameman1995
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
So i visited a neurologic clinic that, between other mental illness, treats Alzheimer patients. This was their main lobby's painting.
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XurroMaster
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
To all those who take advantage of women's clinics,

Thank you for your cervix!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm planning on starting a discount amputation clinic

I'm gonna call it Half Off For Half Off

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smokycash
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
The Testicular Cancer Clinic called me to ask whether I got their email. I said no.

They said, β€œMaybe you should check your junk.”

πŸ‘︎ 117
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad joked by an 81-year-old woman

I had an elderly patient today who was visibly upset, almost to the point of tears. I asked her if she was worried about having her blood drawn and she said that the blood draw didn’t bother her, but that she was upset because she had hit a cat with her car on the way to her appointment this morning. She said that she didn’t know who the cat belonged to and that she had it wrapped up in a blanket in her car. I asked her how badly the cat was hurt and she said β€œI think he’s going to be alright. I just clipped the hind end of him, but his tail is just barely hanging on. After I leave here, I’m taking him straight to Wal-Mart.”

I told her that she might be better off taking the cat to a veterinary clinic instead of Wal-Mart and she said, β€œbut it’s just his tail, and Wal-Mart is the largest retailer in North America!”

πŸ‘︎ 461
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doc_Hooligan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
This hearing clinic is hear to help.
πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalHarvest288
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to the hair clinic and asked if there were ways to regrow my hair for free...

They said β€œNo, you need toupee”.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the name of the new hearing clinic in town.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
🚨︎ report
It took me $200 to get my stool sample checked at the clinic.

That shit was expensive.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Needed a rest, so I went to the fracture clinic.

Turns out it was a good place for a break.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mattgibbo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
🚨︎ report
I got the sack from the Dermatology Clinic for misdiagnosing shingles...

Which I thought was a little rash.

From Dad Joke of the day on facebook.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Cleverly made
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hados1109
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a psychiatrist clinic wearing nothing but a plastic wrap skirt...

Doctor says: " I can clearly see you're nuts."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joe2u2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did dracula go to the clinic?

He was coffin

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/barwhalis
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
After so many years, I had to shut down my anorexia clinic.

My patience was running thin

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnyrottenjr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I passed a dwarfism clinic today. I have little patience for that.
πŸ‘︎ 111
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dl064
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2015
🚨︎ report
I went to my doctor's clinic today.

"I've been trying to reach you since the last three weeks but you wouldn't pick up the call," I said.

"I'm having some serious symptoms and I needed this appointment as soon as possible," I continued.

"Alright, alright," the doctor interfered. "Just be patient."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm thinking about going into business for myself with a combined therapy/body hair removal clinic...

I'm gonna call it "GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST"!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/parallellmord
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2017
🚨︎ report
I get clinically depressed every winter

That's SAD

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kastautavtelt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2017
🚨︎ report
That little paper mask they ask you to wear at the Medical Clinic is called...

A Coughy Filter!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Prosthetic clinic can lend you a hand
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrToastyToast
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2017
🚨︎ report
Things are really getting bad in local clinics

Everybody there is sick.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ilikehopbeverages
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call an eye clinic on a busy day?

A corneacopia.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dustyfingers
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2015
🚨︎ report
A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood.

The nurse asked the rabbit: "What's your blood type?"

"I'm probably a Type O", said the rabbit.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
🚨︎ report
A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walked in to a blood donation clinic.

The nurse asked the rabbit: "What is your blood type?"

"I am probably a type O" said the rabbit.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mick_NYC
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
🚨︎ report
A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood...

The nurse asks the rabbit: β€œWhat’s your blood type?”

The rabbit replies: β€œI’m probably a Type O.”

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stchrysostom
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report

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