Went in for a psychiatric evaluation and the shrink asked me to strip from the waist down!?

He said: Well, I can clearly see your nuts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/7PrawnStar7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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What Christmas Carol do they sing in a psychiatric hospital?

Do you hear what I hear?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mymindisgone74
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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A man showed up to my psychiatric practice dressed only in Saran Wrap requesting diagnosis.

I told him, β€œI can plainly see your nuts.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmturleymd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
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Did you hear about the psychiatric chiropractor?

He specializes in attitude adjustments.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/perezgc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2017
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Queen Elizabeth visited an Edinburgh hospital recently...

She enters a ward full of patients, and notices that they’re all dressed in street clothes and have no obvious sign of injury or illness. The Queen approaches a patient and greets him. The patient replies:

β€œMy heart’s in the Highlands, my heart is not here, My heart’s in the Highlands, a-chasing the deer.”

The Queen is confused, but smiles and moves on to greet the next patient. The patient responds:

β€œSome hae meat an’ canna eat, And some wad eat tha’ want it, But we hae meat an’ we can eat, so let the Lord be thankit.”

Even more confused, and smiling even more broadly, the Queen moves on to the next patient who immediately begins to chant:

β€œMy love is like a red, red rose that’s newly sprung in June; My love is like the melody that’s sweetly played in tune.”

Now very confused, the Queen turns to the accompanying doctor and asks, β€œIs this a psychiatric ward?”

β€œNo, Your Majesty,” replies the doctor. β€œThis is the serious Burns unit.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatboyfat1981
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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