What a shit take.
It must have been the delivery...
"Enter Juliet From Behind"
My dad: What do you mean son? Your eyesights not that bad..
Me: Yes, but next year will be 2020.
When It's trans-parent.
No, but a "good eye might".
Teacher: “What will next week’s test be on?”
Class: “Confidence intervals and….”
Teacher: “No, it’ll be on paper.”
Class: “Ugh…”
Teacher: “And how long will it be?”
Class: “Umm, like, ten questions?”
Teacher: “No, 8.5 by 11 inches.”
Class: “Goddamnit.”
Suddenly, his wife Lorraine dies. The day of the funeral comes, and this guy seems pretty happy. I look over to him and say, ‘Why are you so happy?’
He looks back at me and says ‘I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone.’
Upon which grandpa said, "Son, pray for me, that I never get that hungry!"
They make it very clear in every episode that they’re Medellín kids.
- Doctor! My bone is outside!
And the doctor replies:
- Tell it to come in.
Me: (cuddling) I'm not sure why I'm rubbing my ear on your nose Him: I guess you want to h-ear what I nose.
He also says "Hi Hungry, I'm (SO)" every time I say I'm hungry. Grr.
That restaurant needs to mind their peas and queues.
Boss: I like to block off my calendar at the end of my day from 4-6 as my catch up time
Me: What comes after that, mustard time?
I'm still employed somehow
Called in to get my work for the next day as I'm a student who's brought back part-time over the Christmas break.
Me: "Hi, I'm ronnockoch one of the students who is working Christmas, can I have my work for tomorrow?"
Dispatch:"Hi ronnockoch one of the students who is working Christmas, how are you?"
Conversation for about 2 minutes
Me: "Okay, see you at 5:00am tomorrow! Have a good day Dispatch!"
Dispatch:"Bye, ronnockoch one of the students who is working Christmas."
Clearly he'd fit right in here
"Its based on a true story, right?"
I still laugh every time though, and use it myself sometimes.
Dad: you know how Richard (my brother) is going to do a marathon in Kenya soon?
Me: yeah why?
Dad: I'm going to do a half marathon tommorow and ill finish it faster than him.
Me: no you won't, you smoke and you're unfit.
Dad: it'll be okay. I think they're called snickers now though.
Me: urghh.
As the man leaves her funeral, he sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone"
At the funeral the man sings 'I can see Clearly now that Lorraine is gone'.
Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
It's a perfect vision.
