What joke was in your Christmas cracker? Mine was, "Why did the baby cookie cry?"

Because his mother was a wafer so long.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Warmheart_84
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
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Christmas Cracker Jokes NEEDED

I need your best/worst cracker jokes for a groanworthy advent calendar I'm making last minute.

Help!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/genericonlychild
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2017
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Christmas Cracker Dadjoke

My Dad just walked into the living room with a Christmas cracker hanging out of the zip in his jeans. I gave him a strange look, to which he replied:

"What? I'm fucking crackers!"

Genius.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JakeAduro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2013
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So Dadjokers, what's your favourite dadjoke that came from a Christmas cracker?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blade4004
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2014
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Got this one in the Christmas cracker...

Son: Dad, there is a man at the door collecting for the new swimming pool.

Dad: Give him a glass of water!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZupaTr00pa
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2013
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How did Scrooge get his employees to work double time on Christmas Eve?

He made Crochet sign a quaver.

(Credit goes to a friend of mine who's been writing Christmas cracker puns)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shoutgun
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2012
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What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snow balls.

πŸ‘︎ 298
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xTheAddy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2017
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A string walks into a bar...

β€œWe don’t serve your kind round here”

β€œWhy knot?” (1)

β€œYou’re always causing friction” (2)

The string leaves the bar, twists himself up, parts his hair and walks back into the bar.

β€œAin’t you the same guy who came in a minute ago?”

β€œI’m a frayed knot.” (3)

Now that’s a Christmas cracker πŸ™ŒπŸŽ„

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kinnth
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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What did the baby corn say to the mummy corn?

Where’s pop corn?

Darkest Christmas cracker joke I’ve seen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaggington
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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What is E.T. Short for?

Because he has short legs.

My dad answered every joke like this from the Christmas crackers instantly and laughed at every one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scottwalker88
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2014
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Cracker adds fuel to the fire

We're sat down for Christmas dinner and we all pull crackers. My father gets a small set of pocket screwdrivers. I ask 'Are they all flatheads or are they phillips?', to which he replys with the knowing grin 'They're not Phillips, they're mine'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnnythruster
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2014
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