Why are chemists so terrible at telling Dad jokes?

Because all the good ones argon already.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

You barium.

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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A chemist froze himself at -273.15Β°C. Everyone said he was crazy, but he was 0K.
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M_Arslan_Tahir
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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How often does a chemist tell a joke about elements?

Periodically

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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Why did the chemist make puns?

To see the reactions...

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vin135mm
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?

AU!

πŸ‘︎ 177
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πŸ‘€︎ u/who_8_my_pasta_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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What do they do with chemists when they die?

They barium.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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Did you hear about the new dating website for chemists?

It's called carbon dating.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imholt11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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A chemist plants a seed

He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/therderper123
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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Unbelievable...Just been to the chemist, asked the lady if she had something to clear up diarrhoea...

She gave me a mop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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How does a chemist come out of the closet?

-"mom, dad, im made of gallium and yttrium"

-"what?"

-"im GaY"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rozsaszin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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A chemist froze himself at -273.15Β°C

Everyone thought he was crazy but he was 0K

Taken from u/HassanMehdi on r/technicallythetruth

πŸ‘︎ 468
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bruinsfan011
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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Two chemists walk into a bar. "I'll have H2O," says the first. "I'll have H2O, too," says the second.

The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position, as well as pragmatic context.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NullVoidPointer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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A duck walks into a chemist and says, "Do you have any lip balm?"

Chemist says, "Sure, that'll be 95 cents!"

Duck: "Put it on my bill please."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/El_Sidgio
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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Was at a dinner with a chemist when all of a sudden she became angry and starting throwing sodium chloride at me.

I'm pretty sure that's a salt.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNeutralParty
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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I considered becoming a polymer chemist...

...but I thought the work would be too repetitive.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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What did the chemist say when they found two new isotopes of helium?

HeHe

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ashwynee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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Do we cremate dead chemists?

No, we Barium.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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How many Helium molecules does it take to make a chemist giggle?

Three.

HeHeHe

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dvdcrlsn
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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My dad is a chemist

He tells jokes periodically

Edit: spelling

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mndaver24
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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How to tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pegacornian
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
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What kind of letter does a lawyer send a chemist he wants to stop doing something?

A cesium and desist letter.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ICWhatsNUrP
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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How do you dispose of a dead chemist's body?

You barium

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beebeepsheep
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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The chemist who created the periodic table was stumped during his process of developing the table. Suddenly, he realized:

He was missing a key element the whole time

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnthMaster7
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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What do you do with a chemist with Corona virus?

If you can't Curium or Helium you must Barium.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cankles_of_Fury
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
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Did you hear about the chemist who died?

Not even the best doctors could Helium.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xakik
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
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Why are chemists good problem solvers?

They have all the solutions.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedCakesYT
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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What would a chemist say to a corrupted hero?

You argon far from serving a noble cause

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1aim1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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Lawyer, chemist and a statistician goes hunting

Lawyer, chemist and a statistician are out in a forest hunting for deer. After one hour of patiently waiting lawyer finally spots one. The lawyer shoots at a deer and misses half a meter to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses half a meter to the right. Both are furious and dissapointed as they see the deer escape.

Chemist asks statistician - "why you didn't shoot ?"

Statistician replyes - "I didn't need to, we already shot him !".

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeserLP
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a chemist and plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized."

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustenGray
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
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A chemist died

Press Fluorine to pay respects

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoruscareGames
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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So I accidentally killed a chemist the other day.

I asked my friend what to do. he said, "Just barium before the coppers catch us."

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/greencash370
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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Why are Chemists good Psychotherapists?

Because they always have a good solution.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marv1236
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A chemist froze himself at -273Β°C.

People asked him if he was hurt but he said he was 0K.

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yalam_boi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
A chemist froze himself at -273.15Β°C

everyone said he was crazy but he was 0K.

πŸ‘︎ 160
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlovenianGregor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
A chemist froze himself to -273.15Β°C and everyone called him crazy but personally,

I think he was 0K

πŸ‘︎ 19k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Niyi_M
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you do with a dead chemist?

You Barium

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryan22000044
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?

Au!

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Salman_R
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you do with a dead chemist?

You Barium.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Saosin713
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you do with a dead chemist?

You barium!

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you do when a chemist dies?

Barium

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/speedyeddie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you cant helium Or curium You'll have to barium

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BiscuitaBoyo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?

Au!

πŸ‘︎ 140
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shopcounterbill
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you do with a dead Chemist?

You Barium.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OppositeWolf770
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you do with a poorly chemist?

Well, if you can't curium or helium, you have to barium

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anassis
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaBiscuit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What do chemists do with the dead?

They Barium

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HunterMusicLover
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report

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