Why are chemists so terrible at telling Dad jokes?
Because all the good ones argon already.
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︎ Feb 21 2021
What do you do with a dead chemist?
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︎ Feb 19 2021
A chemist froze himself at -273.15Β°C. Everyone said he was crazy, but he was 0K.
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︎ Feb 09 2021
How often does a chemist tell a joke about elements?
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︎ Jan 27 2021
Why did the chemist make puns?
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︎ Feb 11 2021
What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?
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︎ Jan 14 2021
What do they do with chemists when they die?
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︎ Jan 14 2021
Did you hear about the new dating website for chemists?
It's called carbon dating.
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︎ Nov 27 2020
A chemist plants a seed
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Unbelievable...Just been to the chemist, asked the lady if she had something to clear up diarrhoea...
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︎ Jan 10 2021
How does a chemist come out of the closet?
-"mom, dad, im made of gallium and yttrium"
-"what?"
-"im GaY"
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︎ Oct 28 2020
A chemist froze himself at -273.15Β°C
Everyone thought he was crazy but he was 0K
Taken from u/HassanMehdi on r/technicallythetruth
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︎ Jul 25 2020
Two chemists walk into a bar. "I'll have H2O," says the first. "I'll have H2O, too," says the second.
The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position, as well as pragmatic context.
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︎ Oct 12 2020
A duck walks into a chemist and says, "Do you have any lip balm?"
Chemist says, "Sure, that'll be 95 cents!"
Duck: "Put it on my bill please."
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︎ Oct 22 2020
Was at a dinner with a chemist when all of a sudden she became angry and starting throwing sodium chloride at me.
I'm pretty sure that's a salt.
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︎ Aug 10 2020
I considered becoming a polymer chemist...
...but I thought the work would be too repetitive.
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︎ Sep 21 2020
What did the chemist say when they found two new isotopes of helium?
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︎ Aug 10 2020
Do we cremate dead chemists?
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︎ Aug 10 2020
How many Helium molecules does it take to make a chemist giggle?
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︎ May 12 2020
My dad is a chemist
He tells jokes periodically
Edit: spelling
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︎ Jul 06 2020
How to tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber
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︎ Apr 28 2019
What kind of letter does a lawyer send a chemist he wants to stop doing something?
A cesium and desist letter.
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︎ Aug 10 2020
How do you dispose of a dead chemist's body?
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︎ Jan 26 2020
The chemist who created the periodic table was stumped during his process of developing the table. Suddenly, he realized:
He was missing a key element the whole time
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︎ May 12 2020
What do you do with a chemist with Corona virus?
If you can't Curium or Helium you must Barium.
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︎ Mar 11 2020
Did you hear about the chemist who died?
Not even the best doctors could Helium.
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︎ Jan 16 2020
Why are chemists good problem solvers?
They have all the solutions.
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︎ Feb 04 2020
What would a chemist say to a corrupted hero?
You argon far from serving a noble cause
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︎ Feb 12 2020
Lawyer, chemist and a statistician goes hunting
Lawyer, chemist and a statistician are out in a forest hunting for deer. After one hour of patiently waiting lawyer finally spots one. The lawyer shoots at a deer and misses half a meter to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses half a meter to the right. Both are furious and dissapointed as they see the deer escape.
Chemist asks statistician - "why you didn't shoot ?"
Statistician replyes - "I didn't need to, we already shot him !".
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︎ Nov 20 2019
What's the difference between a chemist and plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized."
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︎ Dec 01 2019
A chemist died
Press Fluorine to pay respects
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︎ Oct 22 2019
So I accidentally killed a chemist the other day.
I asked my friend what to do. he said, "Just barium before the coppers catch us."
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︎ Oct 24 2019
Why are Chemists good Psychotherapists?
Because they always have a good solution.
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︎ Aug 24 2019
A chemist froze himself at -273Β°C.
People asked him if he was hurt but he said he was 0K.
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︎ Mar 23 2019
A chemist froze himself at -273.15Β°C
everyone said he was crazy but he was 0K.
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︎ Jan 13 2021
A chemist froze himself to -273.15Β°C and everyone called him crazy but personally,
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︎ Sep 11 2020
What do you do with a dead chemist?
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︎ Jan 01 2021
What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?
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︎ Oct 29 2020
What do you do with a dead chemist?
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︎ Oct 28 2020
What do you do with a dead chemist?
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︎ May 27 2020
What do you do when a chemist dies?
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︎ Apr 19 2020
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you cant helium
Or curium
You'll have to barium
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︎ Jan 26 2020
What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?
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︎ Jul 02 2019
What do you do with a dead Chemist?
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︎ Mar 02 2020
What do you do with a poorly chemist?
Well, if you can't curium or helium, you have to barium
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︎ Oct 08 2019
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce unionized.
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︎ Jul 13 2019
What do chemists do with the dead?
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︎ Mar 25 2019
How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
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︎ Jul 19 2019
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