My teacher told me to stop making Canadian puns
I guess sheβs having nunavut
π︎ 8
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︎ Apr 14 2019
How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool
Tell them to get out of the swimming pool
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︎ Jun 18 2020
What do you call a Canadian suck-up?
π︎ 6
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︎ May 23 2020
How did the Canadianβs come up with the name βCanadaβ?
There was a bunch of Canadians sitting around the table and one guy suggested they start naming letters their country name should contain.
One person said βC, eh?β
A second person said βN, eh?β
A third person said βD, eh?β
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︎ Jun 08 2020
Noone wants to hear that the Canadian pime minister is hot.
π︎ 21
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︎ May 31 2020
I asked a Canadian what he thought about robots.
He said, "AI?"
I said, "Yes, you."
π︎ 9
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︎ May 26 2020
What do you call a Canadian high schooler with diarrhea?
π︎ 12
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︎ May 08 2020
Canadians make some of the greatest karate instructors.
π︎ 24
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︎ May 03 2020
All my Canadian friends don't think they can count on me...
but I know Yukon count on me because I'm having Nunavut.
π︎ 6
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︎ May 11 2020
I was just attacked by a Canadian man with a bowl of pancake mix!
It was assault and batter, eh?
π︎ 15
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︎ Apr 16 2020
I got some devastating news from the hospital today. My dad was pronounced dead.
I canβt believe Iβve been pronouncing it wrong all this time.
Edit: this joke was straight up stolen from professional comedian Nick Nemeroff. I heard it on the radio so I didnβt have his name handy and thought it was awesome for this sub and had to post it before I forgot it. Thanks to Nick for commenting here below so that I could give him credit.
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︎ Apr 22 2020
The Canadian bank doesn't make sense anymore
π︎ 3
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︎ May 06 2020
If Canadians think their country is perfect
they're living in a world of maple leaf.
π︎ 13
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︎ Feb 27 2020
What strain of flu is most Canadian?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 22 2020
What did the indigenous Canadian man say when he predicted the future?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 19 2020
Where do Canadian eggs come from?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 23 2020
What did the Canadian say when he entered the Mexican Butcher store?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 20 2019
How do Canadians eat while watching TV?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 27 2020
Where does all Canadian milk come from?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 23 2020
What do you call rednecks up north?
π︎ 132
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︎ May 10 2020
You may not believe that blackface happened in Canadian Politics...
π︎ 337
π
︎ Sep 19 2019
I can kayak!
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jun 17 2020
Those northern canadians can smell a liar a mile away
And they wont have Nunavut
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 21 2020
What do you call a Canadian dinosaur?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Dec 25 2019
What currency do Canadian pirates use?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 01 2020
I've just invented a new Canadian beer
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 06 2020
What's the most Canadian state?
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 10 2019
ΚΙqΗ uo pΙΉΙoqΚΗΚ Ι Κnq Δ± ΗΙ―Δ±Κο»Ώ ΚsΙΧ ΗΙ₯Κ sΔ± sΔ±Ι₯Κ
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Dec 08 2019
What do you call a canadian prime minister that practises martial arts?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 23 2019
What do you call a smart Canadian?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 14 2019
What do Canadians say when they throw pasta off a cliff?
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 16 2019
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 05 2019
At the grocery store the other day, the bagger asked the woman in front of me, "Paper or plastic?" She responded, "It makes no difference to me. You choose." The bagger explained that he isn't allowed to, and that she had to choose. This upset her quite a bit, which was confusing to me.
I thought it was common knowledge that baggers can't be choosers.
π︎ 632
π
︎ Jan 27 2020
What science studies Canadian people?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Sep 10 2019
Where my Canadians at
π︎ 37
π
︎ Jul 08 2019
The record store owner needed to get the albums by a Canadian band with Neil Pert on drums out on sale before Halloween...
So he put in a Rush order!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 28 2019
Can anyone tell me why Canadian bees are so different to US bees?
π︎ 50
π
︎ Jun 17 2019
Did you hear about the big snowstorm that hit the Canadian Prairies last week?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 14 2019
How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in the frying pan?
You take away its tiny little broom!
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Mar 08 2018
What do Canadians call their Dollar Stores?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 26 2019
Rachel McAdams' height is 5'4, which is the average height of an american female.
π︎ 183
π
︎ Jan 16 2020
You may not believe that the Canadian PM once wore black-face, but it's Trudeau.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 21 2019
I just found out Canada isnβt real
Turns out it was all mapleleaf
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jul 21 2019
What do you call a Canadian trucker?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 02 2019
What did the Canadian horse say to its nagging friend?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 06 2019
The recipe said, βSet the oven to 180 degrees.β
Now I canβt open the oven, as the door faces the wall.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Aug 11 2019
Colors
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jul 10 2019
I thought Canadian Costcos were safe
π︎ 20
π
︎ Apr 09 2019
While filling an online survey, I came across a gender option: Canadian.
I think they meant Eh-sexual.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Apr 02 2019
I annoyed my Canadian friend and she said she was having
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 31 2019
What's the difference between an American horse and a Canadian horse
One says "neigh" and one says "eh"
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 22 2019
What did the canadian student say when his japanese teacher came to school wearing cologne?
π︎ 265
π
︎ Nov 20 2018
Canadian guy says to his wife get your coat on Iβm going to the pub.
Wife says ooh am I coming too?
No Iβm turning the heating off !
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 03 2019
Why do the Canadians live in igloos?
They have to keep themselves cold because their Prime Minister's so hot
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 26 2019
My Canadian friend loves shoes
I mean its all he talks a-boot
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 01 2019
What did the Canadian deer say to her boyfriend when he forgot their anniversary?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 17 2019
My Canadian friend was reluctant to emcee the Young Men's Christian Association event.
His exact words were, "Why emcee, eh?"
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jun 27 2019
If tiny Tim was Canadian, what would his name be?
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 24 2019
My SO gave me a pitying look when I said β look Canadian bras. What are Dees ey?β
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 11 2019
CANADIAN: Let's watch a movie.
AMERICAN: Have you seen Titanic?
CANADIAN: What's that about?
AMERICAN: Yes, it was. A big one that sank.
π︎ 40
π
︎ Dec 10 2018
How does a Mexican-Canadian order pork?
ΒΏMay I have some, porque?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 21 2019
Stop lecturing me on Canadian territories.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Jan 10 2019
A Canadian, an American, and a Mexcian walk into a bar...
The bartender takes a good look at them. And asks, what is this some kind of joke?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 04 2019
Why are Canadians the fiercest competitors of all time?
They always bring their eh game.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Apr 16 2019
What kind of beer do Canadians drink?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 08 2019
What do Canadians say when they see a large amount of coffee?
π︎ 68
π
︎ Aug 13 2018
Nobody believes that I can name the Canadian Prime Minister.
π︎ 355
π
︎ Aug 31 2018
Did you hear about the Toronto Mafia Boss known for telling bad jokes?
The call him The Stand Up Canadian.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 18 2020
What do you call a Canadian coffee shop with the lights off?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 09 2019
Idk if this had been posted before, but I like it a lot.
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jan 17 2019
Do you want to hear a Canadian joke?
So a baby seal walks into a club.
π︎ 18
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︎ Feb 13 2019
Youβre Canadian when you walk into he bathroom, youβre Canadian when you walk out. But what are you in the bathroom
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 18 2018
Canadians do so well in school!
They're all straight-eh students!
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 01 2019
Canadians believe that Jesus walked on water.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 23 2019
While hiking thru the Northern Canadian Rocky Mountains, I came upon a large member of the deer family...
I thought I might have to fight for my life, but fortunately it had to "va-moose".
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 13 2019
When you throw a Canadian penny in a wishing well
π︎ 27
π
︎ Dec 29 2018
I got a seasonal card from a poached egg, an English muffin and a slice of Canadian bacon.
It said: Happy Hollandaise!
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 13 2018
Whenever I play sports, I want as many Canadians as possible on my team.
They always bring their 'eh' game.
π︎ 53
π
︎ May 25 2018
TIL: If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
π︎ 215
π
︎ Oct 23 2019
Two Canadian coffees are sitting in a library when one says to the other "You read a lattΓ©?"
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jan 31 2018
What does a Canadian cowboy say?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 25 2018
My Canadian friend and his wife just had a baby and they named her JulyAugust.
They call her Summer for short.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Sep 18 2018
What do you call a Canadian who has been living in USA for too long?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 05 2019
What do you call a troublesome Canadian high schooler?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Nov 04 2019
What do you call a troublesome Canadian high schooler?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 05 2019
What do you call a troublesome Canadian high schooler?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 09 2019
What do you call a troublesome Canadian high schooler?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 13 2019
When Canadians are right
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 25 2019
How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in the pan
You take away its tiny brooms
π︎ 35
π
︎ Oct 18 2018
While completing a survey, I came across a gender option: Canadian.
I think they meant Eh-sexual.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Dec 17 2018
How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan?
You take away their little brooms
π︎ 39
π
︎ Oct 19 2019
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